Chapter 1 - Chapter1

Time to Duel

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-gi-oh or it's characters, or the card game mentioned below, I just own this ridiculous idea that isn't going to make me 1 cent even if I sell it.

Author's note: Gomen, I couldn't come up with a more creative name The story was born after I started wondering what it would be like if the characters dueled using ordinary playing cards instead of duel monsters. Then I came up with some real life ideas and cliches from the show which I could write about to make it funny. Anyway, I hope you get the jokes, laugh and enjoy your life!
I'm not a native English speaker, so maybe some of you will find this story a bit simple. I hope you read it though, cause I think it's worth it!! Helpful criticisms is welcome, but don't flame too bad. I only write every 100 years or so... hehehe

One more thing- if it seems like I've been bashing the characters some times- It was only for laugh's sake and it was not intended to offend anybody.


And so heeeeeeeeeeeere's the story!!


"You're really getting on my nerves this time Kaiba!" Joey jumped up and down, shaking his fist in fury.
"It's not my problem you can't do anything right, you stupid mutt." the brunette boy with blue eyes replied coldly.
"Just ignore him, Joey" Yugi said and put a hand on his pal's shoulder. "Ignore him.." he repeated.
"B-but Yugi... He just won't stop insulting me..." (The background changes into a drastic fire scene and Joey's eyes flare up)
"Kaiba!!! I challenge you to a duel!!"
Marik enters the room bringing a disk containing four separate decks.
"Pharaoh. I've come back to take away your puzzle!" He tilts his head back, and laughs a cackling evil laugh, a huge vein popping out of his face.
Everyone except for Marik shivers.

"Let's whip this insane freak together, Yug" said the blonde
"Good idea." said the pharaoh. "This duel will be two on two. Joey and me... versus Kaiba and Marik."
"It's time to duel!" The four sit down at a small table, each duelist facing their partner.

Seto: "Before we begin. I want to say a couple of things.
One-I don't want to be Marik's partner and am certainly not going to help him.
Two-Let's make some kind of bet on this duel.
Wheeler. If you lose this duel you will serve me as my loyal dog for a week."

Joey gulped. And as for you, Yugi. You will dress up as a servant. You will polish my shoes, bring me breakfast in bed, and give me a goodnight kiss..."
"Kaiba needs a good night kiss?!"
The room bursts into laughter.
"W-what?" says a ticket-off Seto. Marik, ofcourse, makes the same old deal with Yugi. Duh, he wants the puzzle and Yami wanted his rod. Yugi tells Seto to be VERY NICE to Joey if he loses. Seto curses under his breath. I won't lose. Joey seems to be taking the longest to come up with a good idea. Well, rather, he has too many to choose from...

The blonde boy hesitantly asked for Marik to have an 'Extreme Makeover' if he lost. That's where Marik will hopefully get his veins and popping-out eyes under control, and he REALLY needs to do something about that hairdo.

"Do I really need a makeover?" Marik pouted and blinked at the guys with long lashes.
Everyone shivered and almost died.

After gathering back some life, Joey asked Seto to believe in the heart of the cards and friendship and live without computers for one week. Kind of a long bet, it is.
Seto shrugged and repeated to himself. I won't lose.

The game begins. Yami gives out the cards, meanwhile six eyes are following his every move to see if he has slipped something in. After the players view their hand, they count up their points where Ace is 4; King is 3; Queen is 2; and Jack is 1. Joey and Yami have the most points, so they start on the selection of their trump suit.

First Joey started with the diamonds- the weakest suit, and then the suits kept increasing until it was back to Joey.
"I'll bet four hearts!"
Yami: "That's it, Joey! Trust in the heart of the hearts!"
Seto: "God....save me"

In the end, it was decided that hearts will be the trump cards in this duel.
Yami: Ok.. Since I got the most points, we will begin the duel with me. I'm East, Joey's West, Marik's North, Kaiba is The Dummy.
Seto: WTF???
Joey: "HAHAHA Don't you know the rules, you 'Dummy'." Joey emphasized the word. If you're South, you play as Dummy, and you lay all your cards on the table, and then your partner picks them, and you can't tell him anything, and you can't refuse. In other words, you're a complete d-"
Joey couldn't finish his speech as he found the disk shoved into his mouth.

"That'll shut him up." Dammit. Now I have no control over the outcome of this duel. Marik better play well, cuz I don't want to do all those idiotic things....
The game starts. Yami starts with 3 of clubs. A pretty lame move... maybe he wants Joey to help him out.

(Hey, come to think of it , Marik's been real quiet hasn't he?)

But don't worry, things start to get even weirder... Cause the next person to go is .......Marik. Marik: "MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Did you think this game would be THAT easy?"
Yami: "Oh, no! Don't tell me!"
Joey: "He's taking us to the shadow realm!!!! AAAAAAHHHH!"
Marik takes out his rod and shoots the chairs they're sitting on. The chairs zap and vanish.
"Ouch!" exclaimed everyone except Marik.
Marik: "Yes! Feel the pain and the strain of.... sitting on the floor! MUAHAHAHAHA"
Seto: Damn. My @$$ hurts.
Joey: Yugi! My @$$ hurts too, does yours?
Yami: Be strong Joey! (yup...it hurts.)

Suddenly, the door opens and Tea, Tristan, Bakura, Serenity, Mai and Duke enter the room.
Tristan: "Cool! The guys are dueling!"
Serenity: "Win, Big bro!!!!"
Tea: "We're all behind you! And with the power of friendship, you guys just CAN'T lose!"
Seto bangs his head on the table "Make them go away... make them go away!"

Joey: "This is it! I put all my trust in this seven of hearts! Seven is my lucky number ye' know! This card never lets me down!"
Tristan: "Yea! Joey always told me that that card was most like him!"
Seto: "I think a Joker is more like him! Hahahaha"
Joey's ears start to smoke "ME?! A JOKER?! Well what the hell do ya know anyway! The joker isn't even in this game, you Dumbass."
Seto's eye twitched after Joey called him that. "Well, you shouldn't be in this game either. So what's your point?"
Joey: "W-why -----yooooooou!!!!"

Joey lunges at Seto and the two of them strangle each other. It is only fitting, that the brave hero comes to their rescue! He swiftly grabs their arms, and separates them from each other. Then he speaks in a low heroic voice "This violence must stop!" His words brief, yet strong..

"This doesn't concern you, Yugi!!!" Seto gives Yami a death stare.
"Oh..." Yugi squeaked, backing off.
So much for hero.

Marik was no fool, however. He used this time of distraction and chaos to peak peak, and then sneak sneak the cards away. Now he was never gonna lose. No way!
He thought to himself... MuaHAHAHAHAHA! That really made my day!


To be continued....

You are not authorized to comment here. Your must be registered and logged in to comment