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Tales from an Unfinished Land

A story involving a world of various furry races, such as moogles, foxes, and so on. Unfinished; any ideas would be most appreciated. PG, some violence.

Chapters

Chapters

Chapter 1 - Prologue
Submitted: August 5, 2004 • Updated: August 5, 2004
Word count: 1698 • Size: 9k • Comments: 4 • views: 419

Chapter 2 - Those of a Different Color
Submitted: August 6, 2004 • Updated: August 6, 2004
Word count: 2130 • Size: 11k • Comments: 5 • views: 399

Comments

Comments (10)

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KeboFokohj on January 2, 2008, 7:53:05 AM

KeboFokohj on (Chapter: index)
KeboFokohjI must say that this story is excellent so far. I have read may stories about humanized animal, like the Redwall series by Brain Jacques, etc, and I must say that you have grasped the topic well on how to write a good story. It would be nice if you finish this despite that stuff like work, school, friends, etc, must be consuming a lot your time.
 
Overall, it is very good and your foreshadowing has set this story up perfectly to make it appear as if the Dark One is already back and is afraid of the child, (I'm sure you get the picture.) But you could add twists like the child grows up, learns about the Dark One, goes to a town to find a sword which has been destroyed by Dark One and now begins a quest to find the sword, because he has learned that the sword has a great power to it when united with a crystal *that he had from birth or found when he was growing up, etc.* and he needs that power to defeat the Dark One and restore peace to the land.
 
That could possible be the way the story goes but don't forget to add uncalled for twists like his wings getting cut off, or his friends getting killed. Also symbolism like the sword, the crystal, his color are good inclusions, and finally the adding of detail is something that can never be overdone.         

Allester on July 18, 2006, 1:39:13 AM

Allester on (Chapter: 2)
AllesterWhen I read someone saying you were the best at fanfiction I had to see for myself, and while I've seen better not many better. Congratulation 9.8 stars

Godlesschild on July 11, 2005, 11:07:07 PM

Godlesschild on (Chapter: 1)
Godlesschildwow that was soooo fantastic. you should write prefesionally

spinnerofmagic on July 3, 2005, 4:37:54 AM

spinnerofmagic on (Chapter: 2)
spinnerofmagicThis story has a very unique concept, you have great talent as a writer. :D **favs your story** I just wrote a story in the anthro category too, I'm just starting out, but it's supposed to be a big series. Well, see you :)

Super_Slyfox on May 2, 2005, 6:56:37 AM

Super_Slyfox on (Chapter: 1)
Super_SlyfoxI love it. The best part is the story line and the wonderful detail! You did a really outstanding job!! ^_^