Chapter 1 - Mother's Day

Narrator: It was your average day in the office of Colonel Roy Mustang. Hawkeye was doing paper work, Roy was drinking his coffee, Havok was chewing on a ciggy, and Fury was on the ground brawling over something of I don't know what.

Havok: Fury, what is your problem?

Fury: Nothing.

Havok: Aw come on you can tell us.

Fury: Nothing!

~silence~

Havok: Oh for the love of... *grabs Fury by the shoulder*

Fury: *holding his finger*

Havok: *death glare* Let me see! *pulls Fury's hands apart* Uuhhh… dude, it's just a paper cut.

Fury: But it burns!

Havok: Don't worry, a kiss will help. *kisses the paper cut* See, all better! *smiles*

Fury: I guess so.

Roy: Awww, that's sweet! Havok, you oughtha be a mother!

Havok: WTF! *twitch*

Hawkeye: you can be as caring and sweet… when ya wanna be.

Havok: He was brawling his eyes out, someone had to do something.

Roy: Ookkkaayy then, let's just forget this and get back to work, okay?

Everyone: Okay!

~Later~

Ha! It's my break *stands up* time for some coffee. *walks out*

Ed: *Walks in* Hello everyone *waves*

Roy: Well Edward, why the peppy mood?

Ed: Why you ask, I just William Hung's CD… he so sexy

Roy: scuse me?

Ed: Uuhhh… nothing!

-silence-

Ed: Okay then, ya wanna see?

Everyone: Okay!

Ed: *frisking himself*

Havok: Is there a problem?

Ed: I can't find my freakin' CD!

“She Bang” is playing from the kitchen*

Ed: What the hell!

Roy: *jumps on his desk**points* To the kitchen!

~The Kitchen~

Roy: *big eyed* Hawkeye, what are you doing?

*Hawkeye dancing and singing on the table*

Ed: Give me my CD, NOW!

Hawkeye: *sticks tongue out* NO!

Fury: When did military officers get the right to dance and sing on the tables?

Hawkeye: *turns music off* Since now!

Havok: What is wrong with you?

Hawkeye: NOTHING… wow Havok! I never noticed how hot you looked from here! *tackles Havok*

Roy: OMFG! What is the world coming to?!! Ladies falling for Havok and not me!!

Havok: Hey!

Roy: *jumps on table* Hawkeye said she was going to get coffee, right? Someone must have done something to the coffee!

Fury: *cough cough*

Roy: That's right! *grabs Hawkeye by the arm* We must cure her of her horrid fate!

Havok: What?

Roy: We are going to make her a woman!

~Pause~

Narrator: Excuse me this is getting out of hand!

Roy: What do you mean?

Narrator: `Make her a woman'?

Roy: Yeah?

Narrator: Yeah!

Roy: Uuhmm… how about we just go see the Fuhrer instead?

Narrator: Okay, okay, you may continue.

~Continuing~

Roy: *shifty eyes* Forget about the making of the woman thing, we are going to see the Fuhrer instead *points* To the Fuhrer's office!

~Fuhrer's Office~

Fuhrer: Sitting in his shiny chair petting his kitty* Yes Mr. Boomboom we are evil, EVIL, MUFUHHAAHAHAH!!!!

*door is kick down*

Roy: Fuhrer sir, we have an issue!

Fuhrer: Well aint the obvice! Kicking doors down, and of all of the doors, my door!

Roy: Sorry sir.

Fuhrer: Whatever. So what do you want? I'm practicing being evil!

Roy: Well, ya see… Hawkeye has lost her ever loving mind and we don't know what to do! Can you please help for the love of peanut butter!

Fuhrer: I will help, if you give me… *puts pinky to the corner of his mouth* I mmmiiilllliiiooonnnnn dollars MMUUUFUUUHHHAAHAHAH!

Havok: Fuhrer for goodness sake!

Fuhrer: FINE! *give Roy a pill* This should help.

Roy: Thank you sir!

Fuhrer: Yeah, yeah, yeah just leave!

Everyone: *leaves*

~Roy's Office~

Hawkeye: Why Havok, why don't you love me?

Havok: Hey Roy!

Roy: Here Hawkeye *pinches Hawkeye by the cheeks* take your meds!

Hawkeye: NO! *slaps Roy** jumps on desk and starts to take off her shirt*

Roy: Damnit woman! Ed, restrain her!

Ed: OKAY! *takes down the mad woman*

Roy: Now here *forces pill into Hawkeye's mouth* be a good girl and sit there quietly.

Hawkeye: Yes big daddy! *sits*

Roy+Havok: *shudder*

~Later~

Narrator: It was now 11:38.

Havok: *yawn* Ha! Nothing like sleep after a hard days work.

Roy: Sure, work, Trying to keep Hawkeye off of you! Yeah, now you know how I feel.

Havok: Whatever… goodnight! *leaves*

Fury: I think I'll be taking my leave too.

Roy: Goodnight! I hope you have fun! *wink wink*

Fury: *slow backs away then leaves*

Ed: Well, buh bye Colonel Bastard and 1st Lieutenant.

Roy: Bye bye my luvly little alchemist. *blows a kiss*

Ed: *blushes**runs out the door*

Roy: Well, I guess it's just you and me *eyes Hawkeye* We still have work to do, so lets not dilly dally.

Hawkeye: Yes sir!

~silence~

*gets up* Sir, I have to use the restroom, I'll be back as soon as possible. *walks out*

Roy: *pointless stare**gets back to work*

~few minutes later~

Hawkeye: *walks in with drunken look on her face*

Roy: Are you okay?

Hawkeye: *walks up to desk**spreads arms out* Come and get it!

Roy: Wah?!

Hawkeye: Come and get it! Do I have to repeat myself?

Roy: No!

Hawkeye: Then what's wrong?

Roy: Nothing! It's just that… well, I mean…

Hawkeye: *crawls onto desk**pushes “melons” together* Oh, come on Roy. Look they're calling you, they want you!

Roy: *twitch*

Hawkeye: *tackles Roy*

Roy: GET OFF!

Hawkeye: But I need you Roy!

Roy: AAAHAHAHAHHH *snaps*

Narrator: Then Havok and Fury come back!

Havok+Fury: *singing “She Bang:*

Roy: STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT!

Hawkeye: What is going on!

Roy: Get this phony off of me!

Havok: OMG there are 2 Hawkeye… WOOH!

Roy: Oh please save me!

Hawkeye that just walked in: *shots everyone in the head* oh, my bad!



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Narrator: WTF! This had NOTHING to do with mother's day! OMFG! So screwed up!

Me: I'm sorry, so sorry! It sadly made absolutely no sense what so ever! I got really confused with the Hawkeye thing! Everyone is so out of character it's not funny! Please, give me your honest opinion! Bye bye!!! *waves*

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