Chapter 1 - Nobody Ever Goes In, And Nobody Ever Comes Out
Submitted March 4, 2005 Updated March 4, 2005 Status Incomplete | *clears throat* I shall be taking over this story on this account, instead of continuing on my old one. So bleh.
Category:
Cartoons » Teen Titans |
Chapter 1 - Nobody Ever Goes In, And Nobody Ever Comes Out
Chapter 1 - Nobody Ever Goes In, And Nobody Ever Comes Out
Chapter One: Nobody Ever Goes In, and Nobody Ever Comes Out
A bunch of chitlins gathered inside of a candy store and yelled and shouted, looking for the dude who worked there.
"Where's the fracking clerk??" Samara complained, "I HAVE NO TIME FOR THIS!!"
Some odd looking guy with a glass eye and hump on his back waddled out of door, "Ok, ok children, calm down…"
A mini-version of Mammoth whispered to Samara, "I think I saw this guy in a dream once… he gave me candy and tried to make me do bad things ;_; I didn’t want to, but I was smothered…"
Samara stared oddly.
"So, what'll it be?? You kids know, Trigon's got a new one today!"
Some bald kid with awshome clothes pulled out a knife and jumped onto the counter, grabbing the dude by the shirt, "What is it!?"
"EEK;" The dude pushed the kid away, "Here," he pulled out a chocolate candy shaped like some dude's head with a mullet, and wrapped in cheap tinfoil, "she calls it… the redneck surprise :D"
"I don't even wanna know," Samara grabbed the head shaped…chocolate…thingy… and unwrapped it.
"Careful," the bald kid said, "My daddy says if you eat the head of someone with a mullet, you'll forever be cursed with the same hair-do!"
"Well… it's chocolate." Samara bit off the nose, and her eyes got all big and dreamy, "How does she do it…. How does she do it…?"
The candy-man dude acted all hurt and angered for some reason, "My dear girl, do you ask a bird how it flies??"
"Actually I do, but my physiatrist said if I did it anymore, she'd beat me…"
Completely ignoring Samara's comment, the guy went on, "Of course you don't! They do it because they were born to do it, just as Raven Trigon was born to make chocolate! And to wear oddly colored spanky-pants and dance around to the Mr. Clean song while I secretly tape it and sell it on eBay as a documentary on-- … Well you kids don't need to know about any of that! The point is, she makes damn good chocolate, so don't question it! Now if you don't mind, I feel that we need to break into a song…"
A young Richard Simmons jumped up onto the counter, "Allow me!! Who can take a sun riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiise, sprinkle it with dewwwwwwwwwwwww… Come on, everybody sing! Cover it in chocolate and a miracle or twoooooooooooo!! THE CANDY MAN!! THE CANDY MAN CAAAAN!"
Surprisingly enough, the kids and old dude started singing and dancing while a girl outside with raggedy clothes and big pink hair stood outside and stared through the window longingly.
"*sniff* Aww… why would I want to eat a chocolate head with a mullet anyway…" she said sadly as she walked slowly away, "You'd have to be a dork to want to… right…?"
She walked to a newspaper stand with Speedy humming like an idiot. "You're late again, Jinx!"
"Shut up and give me the money, dog!" Jinx glared at Speedy and his…… Speedyness.
"o.O Wha??"
"It's pay day!!"
"Ah, yes…" Speedy took out a gay @$$ change purse and pulled out a nickel and flicked it at her, "There yah go. ^_^"
Jinx glared up at him again, "A nickel!? WTF!? WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS!? DO YOU REALIZE THAT THIS DOESN’T EVEN QUALIFY AS MINIMUM WAGE--"
Speedy covered Jinx's mouth as people's heads started to turn, "Uh… hah, hah…" he said laughed nervously, "Yeah, you go on home now, Jinx… and you tell your Grandma Ari I said hi!" he pushed her along.
Jinx muttered angry thoughts to herself as she walked down the street, being careful to avoid eye contact with certain hobos. She stopped, and stared at the rusty gate that led to Raven Trigon's big @$$ fanceh chocolate factory.
"Wow… I--" before she could say something philosophical, a hobo that she hadn’t noticed before lying on the ground next to the gate spoke.
"Up the airy mountain, down the rushing glen… We dare not go a-hunting, for fear of little men…"
"AHH--" Jinx jumped back from the hobo; she had never known they could speak, she'd only heard them grunt before.
The hobo got up, "You see… no one ever goes in there… and no one ever comes out." He staggered away, stroking a dead cat he had in his jacket.
A bunch of chitlins gathered inside of a candy store and yelled and shouted, looking for the dude who worked there.
"Where's the fracking clerk??" Samara complained, "I HAVE NO TIME FOR THIS!!"
Some odd looking guy with a glass eye and hump on his back waddled out of door, "Ok, ok children, calm down…"
A mini-version of Mammoth whispered to Samara, "I think I saw this guy in a dream once… he gave me candy and tried to make me do bad things ;_; I didn’t want to, but I was smothered…"
Samara stared oddly.
"So, what'll it be?? You kids know, Trigon's got a new one today!"
Some bald kid with awshome clothes pulled out a knife and jumped onto the counter, grabbing the dude by the shirt, "What is it!?"
"EEK;" The dude pushed the kid away, "Here," he pulled out a chocolate candy shaped like some dude's head with a mullet, and wrapped in cheap tinfoil, "she calls it… the redneck surprise :D"
"I don't even wanna know," Samara grabbed the head shaped…chocolate…thingy… and unwrapped it.
"Careful," the bald kid said, "My daddy says if you eat the head of someone with a mullet, you'll forever be cursed with the same hair-do!"
"Well… it's chocolate." Samara bit off the nose, and her eyes got all big and dreamy, "How does she do it…. How does she do it…?"
The candy-man dude acted all hurt and angered for some reason, "My dear girl, do you ask a bird how it flies??"
"Actually I do, but my physiatrist said if I did it anymore, she'd beat me…"
Completely ignoring Samara's comment, the guy went on, "Of course you don't! They do it because they were born to do it, just as Raven Trigon was born to make chocolate! And to wear oddly colored spanky-pants and dance around to the Mr. Clean song while I secretly tape it and sell it on eBay as a documentary on-- … Well you kids don't need to know about any of that! The point is, she makes damn good chocolate, so don't question it! Now if you don't mind, I feel that we need to break into a song…"
A young Richard Simmons jumped up onto the counter, "Allow me!! Who can take a sun riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiise, sprinkle it with dewwwwwwwwwwwww… Come on, everybody sing! Cover it in chocolate and a miracle or twoooooooooooo!! THE CANDY MAN!! THE CANDY MAN CAAAAN!"
Surprisingly enough, the kids and old dude started singing and dancing while a girl outside with raggedy clothes and big pink hair stood outside and stared through the window longingly.
"*sniff* Aww… why would I want to eat a chocolate head with a mullet anyway…" she said sadly as she walked slowly away, "You'd have to be a dork to want to… right…?"
She walked to a newspaper stand with Speedy humming like an idiot. "You're late again, Jinx!"
"Shut up and give me the money, dog!" Jinx glared at Speedy and his…… Speedyness.
"o.O Wha??"
"It's pay day!!"
"Ah, yes…" Speedy took out a gay @$$ change purse and pulled out a nickel and flicked it at her, "There yah go. ^_^"
Jinx glared up at him again, "A nickel!? WTF!? WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS!? DO YOU REALIZE THAT THIS DOESN’T EVEN QUALIFY AS MINIMUM WAGE--"
Speedy covered Jinx's mouth as people's heads started to turn, "Uh… hah, hah…" he said laughed nervously, "Yeah, you go on home now, Jinx… and you tell your Grandma Ari I said hi!" he pushed her along.
Jinx muttered angry thoughts to herself as she walked down the street, being careful to avoid eye contact with certain hobos. She stopped, and stared at the rusty gate that led to Raven Trigon's big @$$ fanceh chocolate factory.
"Wow… I--" before she could say something philosophical, a hobo that she hadn’t noticed before lying on the ground next to the gate spoke.
"Up the airy mountain, down the rushing glen… We dare not go a-hunting, for fear of little men…"
"AHH--" Jinx jumped back from the hobo; she had never known they could speak, she'd only heard them grunt before.
The hobo got up, "You see… no one ever goes in there… and no one ever comes out." He staggered away, stroking a dead cat he had in his jacket.
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