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spyro's secret

this is my first ever spyro story



Chapter 1 - jealousy?
Submitted: December 30, 2005 • Updated: December 30, 2005
Word count: 235 • Size: 1k • Comments: 1 • views: 231


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Triarii on January 15, 2006, 5:53:20 AM

Triarii on (Chapter: 1)
TriariiThis has potential but your presentation needs SERIOUS work. You need to do it mroe like this...

"This doesn't look good," said Cetril .

"Support's one the way, just hang in there," said a voice over the com.

The voice could only belong to captain Terent of the support frigate Kaal-Teaa, a vessel which had probably seen more combat than any other ship in the Kushan fleet despite never having fired it's weapons even once.

"Good to see you Kaal-Teaa," said Ront. "We need to dock immediately, we're low of fuel and have taken heavy damage."

See? That's how you set it out properly.