Chapter 1 - Heero and Duo's Philosophy on Life

Disclaimer: I dont own!!!


Heero and Duos Philosophy on Life: bull shoot starbucks style


Hey Hee-chan!!

Hn.

Im bored&

Hn.

You know Hee-chan, life is like a bowl of coffee beans.

I believe the quote is, life is like a box of chocolates.

No&Im serious. I bet that just by analyzing the people and things around us, we can develop an entirely new philosophy on life.

Hn.

Here, lets make a list. Ill start and you can jump in anytime.

Duo starts typing a list on his laptop:

Life is a bowl of coffee beans. If you have too many coffee beans (issues), you have to grind them and make delicious hot drinks and distribute them evenly to the masses.

See Hee-chan, its not that hard!

Hn. No.

Please!!! I promise youll get a special treat later tonight.

Fine.

Yay!

Heero proceeds to add his own little tidbit of philosophy to the list that is Duos latest obsession.

Life is a game of symmetry. Every action has a reaction that mirrors the action. For every thing, there is an equal opposite. For every yin, there is a yang.

Heero, that has nothing to do with starbucks or any of the things or people in here.

&

Ill do another. Oh, look! I can make one out of that drink name!

Banana Coconut means life is crazy. Cuz you go bananas. Like monkeys. And Coco& like coconuts. And Nuts& crazy like nuts.

Do you get it now?

Hn.

Ok then Mr. Smarty Pants, you get to try again.

Hn.

You never know whats going to come in to your life with a sign saying, Just arrived. At some point every feeling, emotion, and coconut is new. Dont be scared of change.

Hee-chan, thats lame!

Hn.

Fine! You have to do two in a row! Go!

No.

Fine then! No treat for you!

Heero sighs, but begins to type again:

Now in season means that there will always be a social atmosphere that you will have to follow. Is it bohemian, prep, or goth?

Better. Now I get to do two in a row!

Illumination hangs from the ceiling, with a pseudo-artsy lampshade, because thats what the mindless masses want. Artsy is now in season.
Theres a constant beat, and then other parts come and go for different amounts of time. Because in life things come and go, but youre always there. They might change your sound but youre always the same beat.
You can buy caffeine and energy, but theres always waste. Were killing our planet with our consumer greed. If we make our own, theres less biological hazard. But were lazy and we wont. Cheers.

Baka, thats three in a row.

Shush you! Its your turn anyway.

Hn.

The shadows are always moving so we cant see outside. But we can see the shadows. We have to watch the shadows inside of us to know what goes on outside of us.

Ok, Im bored of this. Lets make up thoughts of the people around us. Ill go first.

Duo spots his target and begins to type:

My tie-dye shirt shows my hippie roots. But my designer jeans and cool expensive glasses show my yuppie leaves. I work out so my muscles pop. And I pay lots of money to do it.

Okay Hee-chan, your turn.

Heero spots and exhausted looking woman:

I spend all day dropping off and picking up my kids from soccer games, so I only have a little time to do my own work. I drink my Starbucks and hope its over quickly.

Oh Heero, look at that guy! I choose you!

Baka.

My daddys a doctor and my mommys an accountant. I used to study but my friends called me an Uh oh Oreo now I wear bling and black. When my 400-dollar cell phone rings it plays, Its hard out there for a pimp&

You again, Hee-chan!

I try to be cool in my fake army jacket because the kids used to call me a loser but now Im the same as them, sitting at starbucks in my wanna-be different clothes acting like Im studying, theyll never know Im really checking out the two hotties next to me.

Oh, me likey!

Hn.

I take it back, I dont want you to get a big head.

Hn.

Well you dont have to be so pissy about it!

Just take your turn, baka.

This guy Im talking to is clueless& Look how hes listening to every foreign word I say. I sound great. Keep nodding, Kid. I studied in a far, far away land. Did you know Im better than you? Yeah&of course you do.

Oh, Heero. Do one on that guy!

Hn. Okay.

I cant believe I gave into this fracking consumer world. I let my new half-prep half-liberal girlfriend talk me into this, she doesnt know that Ive been here once before, dont tell her. I used to think I was different, that no one else thought like me, but now Im here at starbucks. I like nature, rock climbing, and mountain biking, I want to stand out with red sunglasses but it doesnt matter now anyway because here I am at starbucks just like everyone else.

Oh, harsh!

Hn.

My turn.

Im the New Banana Coconut Frappuccino. But these stupid college dropouts did me wrong. I am not a fracking Frappinno like it says on the hand-written chalkboard. frack you guys. Frappinnos are pussies& I am not a pussy. Im a goddamn fracking Frappuccino. Yeah& frack you guys. Frappinno isnt even a real word& I bet you some dipshoot in Seattle mustve made that up&

Duo, thats not a person.

Youre just racist.

&

&

&Its a drink.

Soooo&

Hn.

Oh look Hee-chan! Theres Relena!

I see.

Will you do the honors?

Of course.

Goddamn, Im tired of peoples bullshoot, frack that I have my own problems to worry about. Oh well, I know everyone wants my advice, Ill just spit out some bullshoot and smile real pretty, that the important part, bullshootting in style, thats why this guy still sitting here talking to me, Ha, like I really give a shoot.

Did you see the barista today, Heero? He was creeping me out.

He was leering at you&I almost shot him.

Is that jealousy?

Hn.

In that case, hes my next target.

Theres this guy sitting with his friend typing on his computer& Ive seen him a couple times. Sometimes he wears pajamas and sometimes he dresses up sort of fancy. I think he sees me wink. I wonder what the frack those two smirking boys are writing. I wonder if they know that I, the guy who makes the drinks, can see them&

Go Heero, its all you.

Damn, frack this. Why did everyone tell me America would be so much better? Theyve obviously never been here. Im broke but being broke in America always means theres enough money for starbucks. I have nothing to do and I cant afford to do anything. Its okay, Ill sit here and think about everything I could be doing back home, with my family. Just watch me as I disappear.

Thats depressing.

Hn.

When I walked in here, I saw this guy I know from my Med school program. Hes hitting on some worn-looking soccer mom& I hit him Hello and he gives me a half-wave and keeps chasing his old skirt. Whatever, I dont expect anything from these people, that way I cant feel bad. I may not be the prettiest or the smartest& but I can make myself better if I say Im better. (I hope it actually works&)

I thinks 20 is enough, dont you?

Hn.

And now for a conclusion.

We sit in Starbucks and pass our judgments. It feels good to judge these other people. Makes us feel better, like the med student in the green shirt you just heard from. The moral of the story is that theres no such thing as cool. Our mean cool is about as cool as the loser with the would-be cool clothes. Haha. Were such Starbucks bullshoot. So we bullshoot Starbucks style, but we manage to bullshoot with style. We watch some people bullshoot in their own style and we add our style to their bullshoot, or our bullshoot to their style. Gotta love that Starbucks bullshoot.

Lets go Hee-chan.

Heero smiles warmly at his koi and says, Ok.

The barista is unlikely to ever forget the glare directed towards him as Heero and Duo walked out.

You are not authorized to comment here. Your must be registered and logged in to comment