Chapter 1 - Promises of Pudding
Submitted April 12, 2007 Updated October 17, 2007 Status Complete | A remake of Jack and the Bean Stalk like never before! Imagine Jack being a nineteen-year-old punk rocker with a bad attitude. Now think of the giant being a gigantic alien queen... |
Chapter 1 - Promises of Pudding
Chapter 1 - Promises of Pudding
Jack lay lazily on the couch in his tiny suburban home. Nothing was on TV worth watching, so he flipped channels. Feeling hungry, he got up to get a snack. Sticking his hand into the fridge, he felt around. Finally, he found it; the last pudding cup! It was chocolate too...a grand prize. He went to the sink for a clean spoon.
Just as he was about to pry that annoying little foil top from the cup, however, his mother yelled, "JACK! Come here! I've gotta talk to you!"
"Aw, crap," Jack complained as he sat down his beloved pudding cup and headed toward his mother's beckoning.
He walked back into the living room to find his mom standing at the window. He joined her. She then said, "Jack, I've noticed something...and it's starting to bother me."
"Oh? What's that?" he asked, not out of concern for his mom, the woman who gave life to him, but in a hurry to get back to his pudding. He was sure that it was losing its refrigerated chill as they spoke...
"It's just that..." she began, "...we are the ONLY people in all of Suburbia to...to have...have a..."
"Yes?!" Jack asked impatiently. "To have a WHAT? I want my pudding!"
"...COW!" his mother finished. "We are the only suburban people to have a pet cow! It makes me feel STUPID!!!"
"Cow?" Jack asked. "You mean ol' Cow Pie? You feel stupid because of Cow Pie?"
He looked out the window at Cow Pie, the old family cow. He was tethered to an old oak tree in the front yard by a dog collar and chain. A cow-sized dog house was beside of him. Jack looked back at his mom.
"You bought Cow Pie as a calf," Jack said, "and he makes you feel stupid NOW?"
"All the other neighbors have dogs or cats or other more manageable pets!" his mom said. "Why should we have to settle for less? That's why I need you..."
"What? Me?" Jacked asked. "But...but I was gonna eat the last pudding cup!"
"That's too bad!" she yelled at him. "I need you to take Cow Pie out and sell him!"
"Can't it wait?" Jack whined. "Who's gonna wanna buy a cow around here anyway?"
"No, it can't wait!" she said. "You'll just have to take him out in the country where people like to buy cows. Now, if you go without a fuss, I will buy you a whole pack of pudding cups!"
"Oh, all right..." Jack finally gave in at last. "I'll go, but know that it's all for the pudding!"
"Thank you," his mom thanked him. She then handed him Cow Pie's leash.
Just as he was about to pry that annoying little foil top from the cup, however, his mother yelled, "JACK! Come here! I've gotta talk to you!"
"Aw, crap," Jack complained as he sat down his beloved pudding cup and headed toward his mother's beckoning.
He walked back into the living room to find his mom standing at the window. He joined her. She then said, "Jack, I've noticed something...and it's starting to bother me."
"Oh? What's that?" he asked, not out of concern for his mom, the woman who gave life to him, but in a hurry to get back to his pudding. He was sure that it was losing its refrigerated chill as they spoke...
"It's just that..." she began, "...we are the ONLY people in all of Suburbia to...to have...have a..."
"Yes?!" Jack asked impatiently. "To have a WHAT? I want my pudding!"
"...COW!" his mother finished. "We are the only suburban people to have a pet cow! It makes me feel STUPID!!!"
"Cow?" Jack asked. "You mean ol' Cow Pie? You feel stupid because of Cow Pie?"
He looked out the window at Cow Pie, the old family cow. He was tethered to an old oak tree in the front yard by a dog collar and chain. A cow-sized dog house was beside of him. Jack looked back at his mom.
"You bought Cow Pie as a calf," Jack said, "and he makes you feel stupid NOW?"
"All the other neighbors have dogs or cats or other more manageable pets!" his mom said. "Why should we have to settle for less? That's why I need you..."
"What? Me?" Jacked asked. "But...but I was gonna eat the last pudding cup!"
"That's too bad!" she yelled at him. "I need you to take Cow Pie out and sell him!"
"Can't it wait?" Jack whined. "Who's gonna wanna buy a cow around here anyway?"
"No, it can't wait!" she said. "You'll just have to take him out in the country where people like to buy cows. Now, if you go without a fuss, I will buy you a whole pack of pudding cups!"
"Oh, all right..." Jack finally gave in at last. "I'll go, but know that it's all for the pudding!"
"Thank you," his mom thanked him. She then handed him Cow Pie's leash.
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