Username   Password  
Remember   Register   |   Forgot your password?

Chapter 4 - Aliens, swords, and women...Oh my!

A remake of Jack and the Bean Stalk like never before! Imagine Jack being a nineteen-year-old punk rocker with a bad attitude. Now think of the giant being a gigantic alien queen...

Chapter 4 - Aliens, swords, and women...Oh my!

Chapter 4 - Aliens, swords, and women...Oh my!
"Jack! Jack, wake up!" Jack felt his mother shaking him awake. "Something amazing has happened!"
"What? Huh?" Jack asked, still asleep. "What's happened?"
"Come look outside!" she said. "I can't tell if it's good or bad, but it's still amazing!"
Jack got up out of bed and went outside. To his amazement, a huge bean stalk towered up above the clouds! It was breaking the street up in to tiny cracks as its roots brutally forced themselves below the asphalt surface. It was strange and twisted, leaning this way and that. It left the odd and pungent odor of a green house or maybe a vegetable garden floating throughout Suburbia.
"Wow! That IS amazing!" Jack exclaimed, "It must've come from that rock I threw! It WAS an amazing thing after all!"
"How would a bean stalk come from a rock?" his mom asked.
"I don't know!" Jack said. "But I'm gonna climb it!"
"That's a great idea! I'm sure there's something amazing up there!" his mother said. "However, before you go, Jack, it would probably be a good idea to put on some pants."
Jack looked down. He was one of those guys who sleep in only their boxer shorts, and as he ran straight from his bed to outside, this was all he was wearing. He slightly blushed as he walked back inside. Once inside, he put on tight jeans with the knees ripped out, Doc Martens, a ripped Nirvana t-shirt, and a leather jacket. Gelling his mohawk and grabbing a pocket knife and a lighter, he was good to go.
He approached the bean stalk and dug his heels into its green, leafy flesh. Latching onto its vines with one hand and stabbing his pocket knife into the stalk with the other, he hoisted himself upward. He continued to do this until he was several feet from the ground. Soon, he was well above his suburban neighborhood, and below him his neighbors looked like pathetic little ants. On and on he climbed, mile after mile of stalk. Ever-so-often he would come across a leaf large enough to support his weight. and would lie on it for a rest. Finally, after hours of climbing, he broke through the clouds...
As his head emerged through the floor, Jack found that beyond the clouds there was an unseen location! An actual land! However, though this discovery was amazing, the state of this land was not. Even though the underbelly consisted of soft, white clouds, the surface of this land was made up of harsh rock and crusty, black soil. Jack dug himself from the dark soil and pulled himself free from the ground like an undead. Brushing black dirt from his clothes, Jack took a good look around...
All around, the landscape was rocky and mountainous. Strange architect that looked part medieval-part alien was plentiful. The sky from this point was a sickly green hue. Even the smells there were strange. Some of the scents were aquatic, like fresh rain, while others were chemical like and almost choking. Already, Jack could feel hostility in the air.
This sense was correct, for a hot laser whizzed past Jack's scrawny leg. He cried out with a little dodge, narrowly missing its sting. The hostile who fired it fired at him came into view. It (as its gender was unclear) was riding on a half horse-half motorcycle hovering device, and was wearing a black helmet with a large spike protruding from its center. As for its body, it was built amphibious like a frog, but had scaled skin like that of an alligator. Its eyes were cat-like, and little spikes lined its spine.
"Whatintheworld?!" Jack yelled so fast that it came out in one large word. "Stop shoothin'! I come in peace, man! Don't shoot!"
The creature didn't care listen though. Whether it could not understand Jack's language or it just didn't care, it fired again. Jack dodged again, yelping as he did so. However, instead of trying to reason with the creature, this time Jack ran. With a bird-like call, the creature followed him.
Jack panted fiercely as his Doc Martens pounded the black, rock-like soil. Sweat dribbled from his pores in bullet-sized drops as he heard the loud motor of the creature's vehicle, and the cry of its rider, right behind him. With his pocket knife as his only defense, Jack knew that it would be a fight that he couldn't win if caught. This pushed him, but he knew that he could not run like this for much longer. Suddenly, hope came into view...
It was a building. The building looked like a rather important one too, such as a courthouse or a city hall...or at least a museum. It was not the look of the building that gave Jack hope, however, but a particular door of it. The door was wide open in the back of the building and stood unguarded. It could have very well led to a storage room or some other room of less importance. Jack didn't really care though. Wherever it led, he was quite sure it couldn't be any worse than where he was now.
With a leap followed by a cool James Bond-like roll, Jack tumbled through the doorway. Quickly, he grabbed it by the knob, slammed the door shut, and locked it tight. The creature pounded on the door violently with its fists. Jack heard it scream in its bird-like way with protest. He then heard a laser being fired followed by a ricochet and a frightened cry from the creature. With a little smile of satisfaction, he picked himself up and further explored his surroundings.
"Hmm...That guy must've been an alien," Jack thought aloud to himself. He looked at doors lining the hallway that he was in. One was labeled "Probes".
"Yup, definitely an alien," Jack said with a shiver. "I'd better not get caught, 'cause these guys don't seem too gentle..."
He kept walking down the hall, reading door after door. Each label sounded horrible. Test Tubes. Test Subjects. Live Test Subjects. Pointy Sticky Thingies...Of course, there was one that finally came into view that Jack found interesting.
"Ah, yeah! "Swords"! Now THERE'S somethin' I can use!" Jack exclaimed. "A little bit o' self defense from those creeps!"
He twisted the knob to find that the door was unlocked. Upon opening it, he found that the room was pitch black. He felt around on the wall for a second. Finally, he found what he was looking for. Flipping the switch with a faint clicking sound, a soft, electric glow flooded the room. Just as the door was labeled, swords lined the walls. Some were displayed in stone bases as well. Jack had already found one to his liking.
"Whoo! Big anime sword!" Jack squealed in a girly voice. He even did a gay little clap. He than caught himself and began to act more manly. He continued, "Now to pick this bad boy up!"
He grabbed the handle and pulled. As the sword was as big as Jack himself, it did not budge. He pulled harder. He strained and grunted and even broke into a sweat. Yet, it still did not move. Finally, as he was sure that one more strain would cause him to do an embarrassing bodily function, he gave up. This didn't crush his spirit, however, for he found another sword to his liking.
"Now that's what I'm talkin' about!" Jack shouted as he raised his mighty sword to the sky. It was shaped like a key and had a mouse-shaped charm at the end of its handle. Suddenly, a mouse-like creature that Jack was sure he'd seen at a familiar happy theme park once before approached him.
"Use that," he said in a high-pitched voice, "and we'll sue the pants offa ya!"
"Awww..." Jack whined as the mouse creature took the key-shaped sword away. "Now what am I supposed ta do?"
But then he saw it. THE sword. His sword. The sword made for him. Picking it up, he raised his real mighty sword to the sky. It was black with blue stones in its handle. Though a bit thin, it was also powerful. The handle was twisted, and at the end of it hung a little snake-shaped charm. It was a dark-looking weapon.
Now that Jack had something to fight with, he left the room to further explore the area. He passed more oddly labeled doors. Secret Documents. Frozen World Leaders. Robot Slaves. Tacos...Suddenly, another door caught his eye. It was standing open, and a strange, aqua-coloured glow was coming from the room.
Jack crept in with his sword raised. Anything could be hiding in the room. This assumption was wrong, however, for the only thing in the room was a strange chamber filled up with a crystal-like substance. This is where the aqua-coloured glow was coming from. Jack got up closer to it to examine the crystal. To his surprise, a girl was frozen inside of it!
"Wow! There's a CHICK in there!" Jack exclaimed. "Hmm...She's kinda pretty. Maybe I can save her!"
He went to mess with the controls, but then stopped. Turning to leave, he said, "Nah. She's probably in there for a GOOD reason! I'd be stupid to free her!"
Suddenly, he tripped over a wire in the floor. His foot unplugged the wire from the wall. The crystal glow abruptly disappeared. Jack picked himself up out of the floor and frantically felt around for the light switch. As he turned it on, he heard the weak moaning behind him. Turning around, he found that the crystal substance had deteriorated and the girl now lay in the floor.
"You...you SAVED me!" she said, looking up at Jack. "You're my HERO!"
"Um, okay," Jack said, a little confused. "That's pretty cool, I guess."
"My name is Jill," she said, getting up out of the floor. "I was once the princess of this realm, until I was captured by the evil, giant alien queen and was locked in this chamber!"
"Whoa, that really sucks..." Jack said. "By the way, my name's Jack."
"Jack...hmm...Not really a name for a hero of the universe," Jill said, "but I guess it'll have to do."
"Wait. Hero of the universe?" Jack asked. "What're you talkin' about?"
"The planet was in peril until you came! Now you have freed me," said Jill, "and with your mighty sword, you will vanquish the giant queen!"
"Uh, no. Hate ta break it to ya, princess, but I'm just here to find valuables to make up for the cow that I practically gave away!" Jack said. "Getting this sword and freeing you were sorta accidents. No hard feelings..."
"Oh, but you MUST help us!" pleaded Jill. "If you do, I will make it worth your while!"
"Make it worth my while, huh?" Jack asked. "What did you have in mind?"
"The royal treasure of course!" Jill said happily. "The legendary golden chicken! It's worth millions! Certainly that is to your liking..."
"To my liking indeed!" Jack said. "I'd be an idiot to turn THAT down, even if there IS a little bit of fighting involved! Besides, with this neat-o cool sword, it should be easy!"

Comments

Comments (0)

You are not authorized to comment here. Your must be registered and logged in to comment