Chapter 3 - Interview #3

DJ Mary: Hello everyone, and welcome to.....

Audience: Some stupid interview talk show!

DJ Mary: NO! Ahem. Like I was saying, welcome to....DJ Mary’s Show!

Random Drunk Guy: That was original, ya *beep*.

DJ Mary: *gasps*

DJ Mary: ..........Anyways, let’s give a big round of applause for Gary! 

[audience boos and throws stuff at Gary] 

DJ Mary: So.......how are you doing, Gary?

Gary: Well, your stupid crowd just assaulted me. I think I’ll press charges.

DJ Mary: ...............So......what do you do now that you’ve been to the Indigo League?

Rhia (in audience): AND LOST!!!!

Gary:.....Well, I concentrate mostly on making myself better.

Crystal (in audience): Oh, how poetic.

Gary: Thank you.

Crystal: THAT WAS SARCASM.

Gary: *ignores her* And I try to hunt down Team Rockmagqua.

Random Drunk Guy: Rockmagqua sucks. *hiccups* They *hic* took all my money! So now I drown my sorrows in alcohol....*hic*

DJ Mary: Why did I even let you in?

Random Drunk Guy: You didn’t.  

[guards swarm in and haul him out] 

Random Drunk Guy: Oh *beep*.

Gary: Um...isn’t this interview about ME? Not the random drunk guy?

DJ Mary: Oh, right! So Gary, what’s your relationship with your sister, Daisy?

Gary: Daisy? Oh, she makes life like a perfume-soaked hellhole!

Daisy (in audience): Language, Gary! Don’t make me wash out your mouth with soap!

Gary: Not again! I mean, *beep* you!

DJ Mary: Wow, we’re getting more beeps than The Mauri Show and Dr. Fil put together!

Cameraman: Is that something to be proud of?

DJ Mary: Shut up! You’re not supposed to get involved. You’re supposed to be filming. 

[Team Rockmagqua bursts in] 

Rockmagqua: Give me all your loot!

Cameraman: Who says “loot” anymore?

Rockmagqua: We do! Now shut up and give me your money!

DJ Mary: This is a perfect time for Gary to show off his skills! 

[audience boos and mutters about “stupid talk shows”] 

Gary: Zzzz....*wakes up* Huh? I saw this one before.....*goes back to sleep* 

[audience boos and walks off] 

DJ Mary: Wait! Don’t leave! I need the income to support my family!

Rockmagqua Grunt: Yeah, I have money issues too. 

[Random Drunk Guy walks back in] 

Random Drunk Guy: Hey! It’s Team Rockmagqua! I patented that invention, jerks! 

[Random Drunk Guy charges at Rockmagqua]

[Random Drunk Guy punches away]

[two Rockmagqua agents come at him from different sides]

[Random Drunk Guy jumps up]

[Matrix pause and rotating]

[Random Drunk Guy takes beer out and gulps it down]

[end Matrix pause; Random Drunk Guy kicks and knocks out the grunts] 

Random Drunk Guy: You *hic* want more? *hic* You can have it, ya *beep* *beep*! 

[Random Drunk Guy continues to beat up Rockmagqua’s agents] 

DJ Mary: Wow! This is the most action-y interview ever! And the random drunk guy isn’t even the one being interviewed!

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