Chapter 1 - Lies

Zim stared at the blank screen in disbelief. His mission was a lie? He had been sent to Earth, on the outreaches of the galaxy, just so that he wouldn't mess anything up? They'd been displaying his reports to the rest of the Empire for entertainment? "LIES," he growled angrily. "FILTHY LIES!"
As Gir ran into the room, Zim did not remove his infuriated gaze from the screen. The little robot trotted up to him and, noticing his expression, poked him. "Mastah? Whatcha doing?"
The ruby-eyed Irken looked down at Gir and narrowed his eyes. "Leave me alone, Gir." He stormed into one of the many elevators that led to the main level, and angrily demanded, "Main level, computer."
A faint sigh was heard as the elevator began to rise, slowly gaining speed. The moment it opened, Zim quickly walked over to the front door and out, not bothering with his disguise. It wouldn't matter- it was nighttime, and he would be hitting his self-destruct, anyway.
He passed a human that was leaning against a fence, holding the leash of a dog, and was completely unnoticed. Few others were awake and roaming, and many houses were dark. As Zim stormed through the streets, searching for a good place to hit his self-destruct, he spotted Dib's house. And a short figure, illuminated by the electric fence, stood right in front.
As he drew closer, he could clearly see who it was. "Dib," he hissed angrily.
The small human had recognized Zim by now, and a look of mingled hatred and surprise hung on his face. "Zim, what were your leaders-"
Angrily, Zim stopped in front of the human and cut him off, "If you saw that, you know perfectly well what they were talking about. With that gargatuan head of yours, I'm sure you can figure out where I'm headed. Now get out of my way."
Dib shook his head and stubbornly replied, "No, I don't know what they were talking about."
"Not like you'd care," Zim muttered, shoving the human aside and continuing onwards. As Dib ran ahead to block him once again, the Irken snarled, "You don't give up, do you?"
"Tell me, Zim!"
"No. Move out of my way."
"Just one explanation, Zim. ONE!" Dib yelled, enraged by Zim's stubbornness.
Zim furiously fixed his gaze on Dib and growled firmly, "Don't humans understand the word 'no'? I'm busy trying to self-destruct, now get out of my way."
The human child's eyes widened in shock as he stuttered, "Y-you're going to de-destroy yourself just because of s-something that they s-said?"
The Irken's antenna twitched as he replied, "Yes I am, now get moving!"
Dib, having recovered somewhat from his initial surprise, shook his head. "I won't let you."
Zim, narrowing his eyes until they were almost slits, said, "Why, so you can dissect me? I think not."
"No, it's because you could fight back. You can prove that you're worth something to your leaders," he answered.
Zim was surprised by the reply, but hid it as he replied, "Go up against the entire Irken Empire? That would be foolishness, Dibstink. Every Irken knows that."
"I'm not Irken, Zim. I don't know what you do, but you wouldn't necessarily be alone," Dib replied stiffly.
Zim smirked. "Who would be stupid enough to try and face down the Armada except you?"
"What about Tak?"
"Tak is gone, earthmonkey. Besides, she's loyal to the Tallest, and she hates my guts."
Suddenly, a little green shape appeared, running up to the two. "Mastah, why'd you leave without these?" Gir asked, holding out the Irken's wig and contacts.
Zim looked down at the robot and growled, "Gir, go back to the base."
Tears began forming in Gir's eyes as he looked up at his master sadly. "But why you angry? I didn't break nothing today."
Dib noticed that Zim was distracted, and slowly began inching away towards his house. Very slowly.
The red-eyed male ignored Gir and he looked towards Dib, who was standing, halfway to his house, with a guilty expression. "Where are you going, human filth?"
Dib attemped to smile, which looked more like a grimace than anything else. "Uh... nowhere?"
Zim narrowed his eyes. "You're going somewhere now. Gir, make sure the Dibstink comes," he ordered. Snatching up the wig and contacts, he swiftly put them on before heading towards his base.
The human child looked towards Gir, his eyes wide with shock. But the little green dog smiled and pointed towards Zim, squealing, "C'mon, bighead!"
---
Dib sullenly followed Zim down into the Irken's labs, too confused and annoyed to stare at the advanced technology that covered the place. As they stalked through the twisting passageways, the human wondered why in the world Zim had forced him to come. But then, Zim has only let me into his base willingly once, during Tak's invasion. Did I make him angrier than usual? Maybe he has a new weapon that he wants to test on me... should I run?
Suddenly, Dib bumped into a rigid figure. Zim had stopped in front of a door, and, absorbed in his thoughts, he hadn't noticed. The human stumbled backwards for several steps before regaining his balance and glaring at the ruby-eyed male.
Zim ignored the glare and opened the door, revealing a large room, which held his Voot Cruiser. "Hurry up, Earthmonkey," he snarled, entering.
Dib stared at Zim in shock. "You're taking me into space?"
The Irken, who had already reached the Cruiser, smirked. "I'm the only Irken on Earth, remember?"
The human blinked and replied, "But I have Tak's ship!"
As Zim climbed into the Voot, he commanded impatiently, "Get in, human filth. I'll open a connection to Tak's ship and pilot both that and the Cruiser."
Dib, eyes narrowed, walked over and awkwardly climbed in. He sat down in the back and crossed his arms sullenly, refusing to look towards Zim as the Irken opened the connection and let the ship rise into the atmosphere.
---
An hour passed silently, and Dib was getting both hungry and bored. So, he attempted to make conversation with Zim, who seemed to be focused on piloting both ships at once. "So... where in the world are we going?"
A faint snigger came from the Irken's direction. "We aren't in your world anymore, Dibstink. We left your world behind almost an Earth hour ago."
Dib replied, "Then, where in the galaxy are we going?"
"To Irk, of course."
The human's eyes widened. What's he trying to do, bring me to his homeplanet as a slave? Just then, a pang of hunger struck him. "What about food?"
Dib could see Zim's shoulders move as the Irken shrugged. "Irkens don't need food to sustain life."
"Humans do," he answered irritably. "And I'm hungry, Zim." Somehow, he knew that Zim was grinning, though he couldn't see the Irken's face.
"Gir, fetch the Earthmonkey a snack."
Dib looked around the Cruiser with surprise. When did Gir get in?
Suddenly, an opening formed in the roof of the ship, and Gir appeared with a bag of tacos. The robot dropped them in front of the human before disappearing back out through the opening, which closed. Dib's mouth fell open as Zim sniggered again.
"I thought you were smart, Dib. If you were, you would have figured out that I'm not piloting Tak's ship at all- Gir is."
The human ignored Zim and grabbed the tacos, trying to make them last as long as possible. But, after about half an hour, he'd finished all three. "Well, we're going to your homeplanet. How long will that take?"
"In Irk or Earth time?"
"Earth."
Zim thought for a moment, doing calculations, before he replied, "Probably about four Earth months, from your planet's atmosphere."
Dib yelped in outrage, "FOUR MONTHS!? How on Earth will Gaz live alone for that long?! And one bag of tacos won't last that long!"
The Irken sniggered. "In Irk time, it will only be about a day," he replied smugly. "Besides, Gaz doesn't strike me as helpless, and she is not the only one in your family unit, correct?"
The large-headed kid sullenly answered, "Yes." Gazing around, Dib noticed that there wasn't a lot of spare space in the Cruiser. Irritatedly, he asked, "Is this all the room we have?"
"I assume you want to sleep?"
"Eventually, yes."
"Gir, bring the supplies you collected for the Dibstink," Zim commanded.
Remembering the tacos, Dib looked towards the ceiling and watched as several blankets dropped through the roof. He grabbed them and piled them on the floor beside him. Glancing at the Irken warily, the human pulled out his laptop, which had been hidden in his trenchcoat. Dib turned it on and opened a link to Gaz, fervently hoping that they weren't too far away. Come on, work...
A familiar face flashed onto the screen, sleepy and incredibly pissed. "Where are you, Dib?" she hissed.
Quietly, Dib replied, "Zim's taken me into his ship and is flying for his homeworld. Can you tell Dad that Zim took me to his homeland, if he asks? Dad thinks that Zim's a foriegn kid, so it should work."
Angrily, the female opened one eye partially. "What's in it for me?"
He thought quickly. "There's some money in the bottom drawer of my desk. You can have it to buy the GS3 next week."
She closed her eye again, sastified. "Next time, don't call me up at midnight."
The screen faded to black, and Dib put the laptop away, relieved. Yawning, he folded one of the blankets into a pillow and wrapped the other aroudn himself before falling asleep.
Zim looked towards the human, who was completely unconscious. "Finally, he shuts up," he muttered.
Then Dib started snoring.

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