Chapter 1 - Unholy Matrimony!

The wedding of Dani Allen.

Bongo: Yeah, and we were invited this time!

Anthony: Shush, Bongo! Anyway, this here is the story of Dandan's wedding to Faust VIII from Shaman King, and Koga from InuYasha. Performing the ceremony is the first Allenist minister, Heather. Robin is playing the organ, and I'm conducting the choir.

Bahamut: What he means by that is that he's lined up a bunch of skulls in front of a draft, so that the wind blowing over the holes sounds nice.

Anthony: Yeah, pretty much. Who's catering the reception?

Bahamut: *shrugs* Meh.



The wedding of Dani Allen, or Married at Gunpoint!



As Robin played `Here Comes the Bride' in a minor key on the rusty organ, and Anthony used his necromantic skills to hold a bunch of skulls in front of a draft, Dani glided down the aisle, clad in a gothic black wedding gown, and holding a bouquet of black and red roses. Heather stood in front of the altar, wearing a black corset-ish type thing, and keeping an eye on the posts that held the vast chains attached to the collars of Faust and Koga.

Dani arrived at the altar, and grabbed the chains.

Heather cleared her throat. “Dearly beloved, we are gathered here in this musty old church to witness the Allenistic matrimony of the founder of Allenism, Dani Allen, and her two chosen husbands, Faust VIII and Koga, of the wolf demons.”

Robin and Anthony stopped playing, and made their way back to their seats, next to Bongo Bongo and Bahamut.

“A forced marriage is truly a beautiful thing.” Heather said. “It signifies that the party forcing this marriage is truly a devoted otaku. It signifies that they have a burning desire to keep all those other otaku away from their bishies. It signifies that I get paid a hefty sum for performing this marriage.” The crowd sighed at the beauty of Heather's speech. Heather turned the page.

“Do you, Dani Allen, take these two men to be your forcefully wedded husbands, in sickness and in health, God help them because they're NEVER getting out of this marriage?”

“I do!” Dani said.

“Okay then. Does anyone want to protest to this union? Other then Eliza and the armies of Faust and Koga fangirls standing just behind that reinforced door?” Heather asked.

No one said a word.

“Great!” Heather said. “By the power vested within me by the church of Allenism, I now pronounce you mistress and male concubines. You may glomp the grooms.”

The onlookers clapped as Dani glomped Faust and Koga within an inch of their lives, and dragged them down the isle. The wedding party was showered by a hail of birdseed as they went.











The reception:

Dani gasped as she opened the gift. “A pair of GPS tracking systems? Robin, Anthony, you shouldn't have! Thank you!” She placed it on the pile of things like handcuffs, leashes, food bowls, and sleeping darts.

“It was nothing, and you're welcome.” Robin said. “It was a beautiful wedding.”

Anthony nodded in agreement. “And those ought to make the honeymoon easier.” He said.

Suddenly, the door was kicked open. The army of darkness a.k.a. the Faust and Koga fangirls stood there, in complete gothic wolf-demon wardrobes.

“Give them back to us!” The army of darkness cried. “They belong to all of us!” They waved their assorted plushies in the air and screamed their war cry, like a bunch of otaku Amazons clad in gothic wolf-demon wardrobes.

“No!” Dani said. “They're mine!” She grabbed Faust and Koga protectively. “Skeletons, attack!”

The army of darkness was carried out of the door by a legion of skeletons, and thrown on the lawn.

“And don't come back!” Dani shouted. “Now, who wants cake?”



Bongo: Wow. That's an odd wedding.

Anthony: *nods* yep. You don't see that every day.



Anyway, thanks to Dandan for letting me write about her wedding. It was the cover story for `Delusional Gothic Weddings' magazine.

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