Chapter 1 - why

why.why do i keep doing thiswhy do i keep tryingevery time i try you hurt meim here with the knife to my wristi want to cuti try not to thinkmy mind wonders to youi put pressure on the bladei want to relieve my internal painthe pain you caused me so many timespain that lives etnally within meas i press down i thinki think of those who helped mei think of friends i think of familyyou said you were my friends you said you were like familyyou said you would always be there for meyou said you would never hurt mei opened up to youi told you everythingi let you inside meyou know my secretsyou know my soulyou know my feelingsi gave you my heartyou took it you tore it apartyou threw it awayyou are pushing  me to the brinkyou are forcing me to the knifeyou are causing me to wish my life would endyou cause me to bleedit drips and stainseach drop a memory of youeach drop a reminder of what you did to meeach drop relieves the pain.this is what you are forcing me tois this what you want?why do you force me to this?i sit and i cryi cry till i bleedbut i want to be strongi will not bleedi will not forget youbut i will forget what you have done to mei will not let you inside my headi will not let you get to mei will show you i am strongyou cannot defeat mei will overcome thisi will not diei will win.

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