Chapter 2 - the beginning of their new lives...
Submitted November 30, 2007 Updated April 10, 2010 Status Complete | my old story. This is where it was when I started on it A WHILE AGO. Please go to my redone version if you want tobegin it with QUALITY. If not, stay here and enjoy the crap. REDONE VERSION: http://www.fanart-central.net/story-56710.html
Category:
Fantasy |
Chapter 2 - the beginning of their new lives...
Chapter 2 - the beginning of their new lives...
in a temple very far from the teens' area...
"ugh,my head." A girl said as she arose from some rocks on the ground and looked around.
"hello?" (where is everybody?) she thought to herself and walked outside.she gasps and wonders where she is and where her family is.she starts to worry too much and looks downward and sees a stone tablet."huh?" she says and picks it up to read it.
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"don't get into trouble."
"we'll be back,mind the place,now, ///// /. (the name is etched off)"
i could care less what you do,i'm leaving,don't come looking."
goodbye(all are different handwriting except "goodbye".that's written by the second one's writing.
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"g-...goodbye?" *gasps* she then runs around everywhere looking for the civilians....she finds none."wait," she says as she removes some dust on the tablet and coordinates are shown. "maybe they're here.i gotta find them."she then proceeds to walk aimlessly staring at the tablet like a map.
meanwhile...
*snores* *snores* (a dream starts and we can see Eric standing in the street at night time with shadows creeping towards him and darkness engulfs him and he wakes up sweating."what was that?a nightmare?i never have nightmares.and since when do i talk to myself.oh no,that shows signs of introspectiveness."
"honey?are you awake?"his mother was calling him.
"what?yeah,i'm awake." Eric said rubbing the back of his head.He felt...different today.
"your friend Brandon is here.he says it's urgent."
"alright,i'll be down in a second." he got up and got dressed and immediately headed downstairs knowing it probably wasn't a real emergency."what's wrong?"
"Psy!you're not gonna believe it,but some kid has been skating all over the town like he's some pro!"
(yep,i was right) "and you needed to get me up,why?"
"oh,well,i know this might seem crazy to you and illo-illogi-illo-"
"illogical?"
"yea,that's it.but check this out.(fires a spike at the wall to the side of him from his hand)
"i...i'm speechless.how did you do that?"
"i don't know,i woke up,stretched and fired out a spike from my hand at my ceiling."
"is it from yesterday with the radiation leak?"
"i think so.so anyway,you wanna go check this kid out?"
"no,this is amazing.i've never heard of people getting abilities in anywhere but comic books."
"why are-"
"because i love to see what i'd have.and no,we don't have any more pie left."
"did-"
"yeah,i think i just read your mind.i must be phychic!but...i can't remember some things.like when i first met you,or how i got here,or even where i am."
"let's see,you're eric Psyria,this is your house,we met when we were 3 and been best buds ever since,and we got here after the radiation.you seem bugged dude,so i'll see you later." so, Brandon heads out the door leaving Eric completely puzzled,so he begins his new routine of sitting in his room,thinking.
--------------------------------------------------
comment.
*Don't worry, this entire story is a prototype, later chapters are much better.*
"ugh,my head." A girl said as she arose from some rocks on the ground and looked around.
"hello?" (where is everybody?) she thought to herself and walked outside.she gasps and wonders where she is and where her family is.she starts to worry too much and looks downward and sees a stone tablet."huh?" she says and picks it up to read it.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"don't get into trouble."
"we'll be back,mind the place,now, ///// /. (the name is etched off)"
i could care less what you do,i'm leaving,don't come looking."
goodbye(all are different handwriting except "goodbye".that's written by the second one's writing.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"g-...goodbye?" *gasps* she then runs around everywhere looking for the civilians....she finds none."wait," she says as she removes some dust on the tablet and coordinates are shown. "maybe they're here.i gotta find them."she then proceeds to walk aimlessly staring at the tablet like a map.
meanwhile...
*snores* *snores* (a dream starts and we can see Eric standing in the street at night time with shadows creeping towards him and darkness engulfs him and he wakes up sweating."what was that?a nightmare?i never have nightmares.and since when do i talk to myself.oh no,that shows signs of introspectiveness."
"honey?are you awake?"his mother was calling him.
"what?yeah,i'm awake." Eric said rubbing the back of his head.He felt...different today.
"your friend Brandon is here.he says it's urgent."
"alright,i'll be down in a second." he got up and got dressed and immediately headed downstairs knowing it probably wasn't a real emergency."what's wrong?"
"Psy!you're not gonna believe it,but some kid has been skating all over the town like he's some pro!"
(yep,i was right) "and you needed to get me up,why?"
"oh,well,i know this might seem crazy to you and illo-illogi-illo-"
"illogical?"
"yea,that's it.but check this out.(fires a spike at the wall to the side of him from his hand)
"i...i'm speechless.how did you do that?"
"i don't know,i woke up,stretched and fired out a spike from my hand at my ceiling."
"is it from yesterday with the radiation leak?"
"i think so.so anyway,you wanna go check this kid out?"
"no,this is amazing.i've never heard of people getting abilities in anywhere but comic books."
"why are-"
"because i love to see what i'd have.and no,we don't have any more pie left."
"did-"
"yeah,i think i just read your mind.i must be phychic!but...i can't remember some things.like when i first met you,or how i got here,or even where i am."
"let's see,you're eric Psyria,this is your house,we met when we were 3 and been best buds ever since,and we got here after the radiation.you seem bugged dude,so i'll see you later." so, Brandon heads out the door leaving Eric completely puzzled,so he begins his new routine of sitting in his room,thinking.
--------------------------------------------------
comment.
*Don't worry, this entire story is a prototype, later chapters are much better.*
Comments
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power9x on July 5, 2009, 2:18:41 AM
power9x on
nextguardian on July 21, 2008, 1:00:22 PM
nextguardian on
The conversation here is really great stuff!
A few more comments:
Glad there's atleast spacing between dialogue, but due to no end bits and also no seperations in character (really one dimentional characters), it all muddles together anyways. Can you describe these characters in more than "that's the one with the spike launching ability". Also, the beginning is WTF maximus. I'm sure it'll have relevance later, but for the moment, it's needless.