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Chapter 1 - How Rivers Were Formed.

I wrote this story for english. I thought it was good so i posted it here.

Chapter 1 - How Rivers Were Formed.

Chapter 1 - How Rivers Were Formed.
A long time ago in the land called China there was a ruler called Shao. He ruled the weather of the west. Shao had 4 dragons that roam the sea of China.
One day a big plague came over the land where no crops on the land would grow. The red dragon was flying one day when she heard a cry from the village ahead. She swooped down and saw that all the crops had dried up the villagers saw her and went to greet her. “Why has your crop not grown?” said the Red Dragon. “This plagues that came to our village and there was no rain to grow new crops.” Replied the villagers. The little boy came up to her and said “Red Dragon could you please tell your master to send forth rain.” The Red Dragon then flew off to the Water Palace. Along the way she met up with the Golden Dragon, the Pearl Dragon, and the Black Dragon all having the same situation. They reached the palace. “Nice to see my messengers. What message do you have for me today?” said Shao. Then the Golden Dragon came up and said “My Lord there is a big plague that has affected all the villagers in this land. We want you to send forth rain so that the villagers will have more crops to grow.” “Okay I will tomorrow” replied Shao. The dragons smiled with laughter to see that there will be rain.
The next couple of days the dragons had noticed that no rain had fallen from the sky. So they went off to see Shao. Shao was at the Water Palace admiring himself and he had sent forth rain to rain over the palace. The Pearl Dragon looked in confusion and asked Shao “Why haven’t you send forth rain over the village?” “The villagers do not deserve the rain and besides I need the rain more than the villagers.” Shao answered. “You are greedy!” Yelled the Black Dragon. “Go away you can’t tell me what to do!” Shao exclaimed.
So the dragons flew away. They went to the waters to rest when suddenly the 4 dragons had an idea. So they filled their mouths with water and flew high up into the sky. They spray the water in the air. Clouds formed and rain started falling. Shao got angry and called them. The dragons flew to the palace. “Why have you made rain with my water from the sea?” He asked. “You never gave rain to villagers and you use it only to yourself.” The dragons exclaimed, “Now all your water powers should be gone for being greedy.” Just then the ruler of the earth named Goddess appeared in the sky. “You have broken the rulers rule. You will be drained of your powers and be transferred to the 4 dragons.” She exclaimed. “No! No! You can’t do that!” said Shao in a shock way. But Goddess drained all his powers and transferred it into the dragons. The dragons took the powers and transformed themselves into a water dragon. They flew over the land of China and they became 4 rivers alongside each other giving supply of water to the villagers. The Goddess took Shao to her palace up high in the clouds to be taught a good lesson. From then on there were always water and fresh crops for the villagers because of the 4 dragons. That’s how river was formed.

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Apliscosisco on October 29, 2007, 10:31:41 AM

Apliscosisco on
ApliscosiscoWell written, may I make a suggestion to the story?
 
The ruler should have 4 blue dragons and when he gets mad at them he should strip them of their wings, when the dragons are stuck on land they decide to merge with the land and become rivers.
 
Again it's just a suggestion, but your original is very well written!
 
;)