Chapter 11 - blood-stained knife

Are you ready?" Kouga's deep, growling voice echoed through the night. Kagome swallowed as the sky painted the world a dark navy blue.


"Yes."


*


The pack stood in a circle around Kagome and Kouga again- only this time, the wolves were holding hands and wearing circlets of thorns and pearls. All was silent. Not even the wind whispered its usual haunting melodies.


"Kagome Higarashi," Kouga bellowed into the darkness. "Soon the Moon Goddess will rise. Are you ready to be tested by her?"


"Yes," Kag replied, her voice bold in order to hide her fears. She tried not to tremble.


"Then come."


With those simple words, the black locked girl followed the pack leader quietly up to a cliff, the pack trailing dutifully behind them. A slight breeze began blowing as they made their way. It felt almost ominous as it rustled the leafless fall trees.


"It's time," Kouga whispered softly as the pack watched the large, full, silver moon begin to rise on the horizon, reflecting mystically in the ocean.


That said, the clan backed away, disappearing into the darkness.


And Kagome was left alone.


*


Trying to keep her breaths steady, Kag examined the view from the cliff. It was beautiful. Sea, sky, stars. . . and of course the splendid moon. She watched silently as that orb rose for a few moments, before she realized that she should be doing something.


But what?


Biting her lip, Kag sank slowly to her knees, her gaze still on the moon.


`They continually refer to her as the Moon Goddess. . .' she thought, `Perhaps. . . I should pray to her. . .?'


It seemed logical enough. . .


Clasping her hands together, Kagome placed them near her heart.


"Moon Goddess. . ." she whispered, feeling incredibly stupid and exceedingly frightened all at once, "p-please help me. . . Help me become a werewolf. . . So that I can live with Inu-Yasha for the rest of my life. . ."


Kag shut her eyes tightly, blocking out tears as she became more engrossed with her prayer.


"I really, really love him, Moon Goddess. And this. . . this is the only way. . . Please, please help. . ."


A soft wind began to swirl around the cliff- a gentle breeze that smelt of roses.


Wait.


Roses. . . ? This late in the year? It was the middle of autumn- no roses could still be alive! Snapping her eyes open, Kagome looked quickly around for the source of the scent.


As first there was nothing but darkness to be seen. But then. . .


Slowly, very slowly, a tangle of rose vines began to grow- spouting and twisting and blooming at an incredible rate- right before Kag's eyes. Two of the many thick, green vines gently wrapped themselves around Kagome's trembling arms and carefully lifted her to her feet, before uncurling themselves from her limbs. Trembling and gasping for breath, the teen walked cautiously over to examine one of the surrounding entanglements.


Were they roses plants. . . ? Yes. All of the vines were suddenly adorned in the most beautiful roses she had ever seen. Milky white with a silver shine, the flowers felt like silk under Kag's gingerly shaking fingers. Their pollen seemed to ooze from their centers as sparkling glitter, and dewdrops shimmered on their leaves like diamonds.


"These. . . can't be real. . ." the teen whispered breathlessly.


"Oh, but they are," replied a cheerful, echoing voice.


Whirling around, Kagome looked up towards the moon- where it sounded as if the voice was coming from.


And it was.


In a way.


But instead of there being a moon anymore, there was a girl. No, a woman. A young woman that slowly began to descend downwards, gracefully soaring towards the cliff where Kagome stood. Subconsciously taking a frightened step back, Kag tried her best not to faint as the female's dainty feet touched the ground.


"I'm not going to bite," she whispered softly, her gentle, melodic voice echoing mysteriously over the cliff.


The teen glanced fearfully up at the second before gasping.


She was beautiful.


Slightly taller then Kagome, the girl had a pale, slender body of milky white skin. Her eyes were midnight blue, and her hair a silver blonde that faded to the darkest of blacks as it flowed behind her; which it seemed to do without any wind. She wore a billowing silver white robe that flowed like mist around her, and she seemed to give off a soft glow- much like moon light.


But no matter how beautiful and kind she seemed, Kag wanted to act upon her first instincts.


Run.


Hide.


Slam her eyes shut and pray this was all a dream.


But something in the back of her mind commanded that she do none of that.


The woman- no, goddess- took a step forward, her footfalls completely silent- as if she didn't touch the earth at all.


"So, Kagome," the goddess smiled, walking once around the black haired girl as if to examine her. "You want to be a wolf. . ."


"Yes," Kag replied shakily. "I d- Wait. You know my name?!"


She laughed as the roses bent and snapped to move along with her. "Of course I know you're name. I know all my children's names."


"C. . . Children?"


Smiling, the goddess tapped the skin right over the teen's heart. "Is that hard to believe. . . ?" Gasping, Kagome glanced down to find her birthmark glowing through the fabric of her robe.


"I'm. . .?"


The woman walked back over to her original spot on the edge of the cliff, still smiling. "One of my many children. This stems the magic that Inu-Yasha senses from you, and your ability to shake off mind control."


It took a moment for all of this to sink in.


"But what about my mother?" Kag asked silently a moment later. "Isn't she-?"


"She is still your mother, and your father is still your father. You are my child as well, though, because there is a little of me in you. It more like a blessing," the goddess kindly explained to the confused teen. "You felt the need to be special- you are. You felt a connection to the wolves- whom are all my children as well."


"So Inu-Yasha. . . is my sibling?!" the teen gaped, appalled. That would. . . really suck.


The goddess laughed, the sweet sound of her voice reverberating through the night.


"No, none of the wolves are your siblings. This is complicated magic, Kagome. I don't expect you to fully understand it."


Kag nodded slowly. That was good. . . seeing as how she DIDN'T understand.


"So. . .I am your daughter?"


The goddess nodded. "More like an adoptive mother, really. But there is a little of me in you."


"Well," Kagome continued feeling slightly excited. "If I'm more or less your daughter, can you make me a werewolf so I can be with Inu-Yasha?"


The beautiful woman's smile saddened slightly. "Sorry. I don't do favors."


Kag's face fell.


"But I am here to help."


The teen looked up at the goddess. "Really?"


"Yes."


"Then what do I do?"


"It's simple," the Moon Goddess explained, waving her hand in the air.


From out of no where, moon light mist collected and formed a knife. Grasping the off white handle, the goddess handed the weapon to her daughter.


"You must offer yourself to the woods, so that your blood may be filled with the wildness of nature."


". . . What?!" Kagome blinked, grasping the blade in one hand and looking blankly at the goddess. "How am I to do that?"


"However you feel you are supposed to."


This answer didn't help much.


Looking down at the knife in her hands, Kag thought about what she had to do. Offer herself- her blood- to nature. . . Like, cut herself and give it to the woods in buckets?


Somehow, that didn't seem quite right.


Maybe. . .


If she cut herself and pressed it to the forest floor. . .


Determination shining in her eyes, Kagome squeezed the weapon's handle tightly-


Before slitting her wrists.


Letting a hiss of pain escape her lips, the teen sank down to her knees, ignoring the spurting blood that was drenching her robes. `And white is so hard to clean, too,' she couldn't help but muse dryly.


Quickly pressing her bleeding wrists to the forest floor, she gasped as the hurt all but disappeared.


Only to be replaced by a searing pain that was ten times stronger. It felt as if large, twisting vines had crawled into her blood stream, curling and unfurling as they took over her body.


Sweating hard and attempting not to cry, Kagome tried to keep her eyes open as this was all going on, attempting to keep the blackness from swallowing her.


And finally, the pain stopped.


Clammy and cold, Kag slowly pulled her wrists off the ground. They were still bleeding slightly and were caked in dirt, but they didn't hurt.


Was the worst over?


"Am I. . . a wolf now?" Kagome whispered softly, her voice still shaking.


She saw a delicate foot fall in front of her. Looking up, she blearily registered the goddess looking down at her.


"Am I?" Kag repeated, scrabbling to her feet and ignoring the pain that shot through her form from moving too fast.


Her mother made no reply.


And then-


"This is where the mistakes are made."


The teen raised an eyebrow.


What did she mean?


"You have two choices, Kagome. One- believe you are now a wolf, go back, and try to transform to prove it. Two- believe that your judgment is not over yet and figure out what to do next."


"Which is the right thing to do?"


"Decide and then I will tell you which was correct. If you are wrong. . . I have to kill you."


Kag was silent for a moment as she looked down at her wrists.


It had hurt so much. . .


It would be so much easier to believe that was all she had to go through, ignore any future pain further testing could bring.


But what if there was more to becoming a wolf? What if she wasn't one now? She didn't feel any different. . . Wouldn't she feel a bit different if she was now a werewolf? Besides, that test had been rather simple. . .Painful, but rather simple. If that was all one had to do, then why were the chances of survival of this Trial one in one billion?


The teen took a shaky breath, knowing that if she answered wrong both she and Inu-Yasha's fates were decided.


"I. . . I. . . I choose. . . the second choice."


*


Sango watched the moonless sky silently, fear for her friend making her tremble.


"It'll be okay, Sango," Miroku whispered in her ear, hugging her close in reassurance as they bluntly ignored Kikyo's funeral service- and the crackling burn of the dead wolf's flesh.


The were-girl's eyes filled with tears, but she refused to let them fall. She had to be strong. For Inu-Yasha, for Kagome. Miroku was right, after all. . . `She can do it,' Sango told herself firmly as she watched Inu-Yasha from the corner of her eye.


He was standing a little ways away, as close to the cliff as was allowed. His eyes never wavered from the trees, where eventually Kag would emerge-


Either as a victor or a failure.


Time passed slowly.


When would she come. . .?


*


Kagome took a shaky breath and tightened her grip on the knife. `Did I make the right decision?'


The goddess watched her daughter blankly for a moment and then spoke. "Touch the sharp end of the knife."


Confused but knowing better then to disobey, Kag did as she was told. And nothing happened.


". . . What did I do that for?" the teen asked the deity, slightly annoyed.


"To answer your own question. The blade of that knife is made of silver. Were you burnt?"


Kagome shook her head slowly no, flexing her fingers.


"Then you are not yet a wolf."


Kag released a soft sigh as she let her arm drop to her side. So she wasn't going to die. . .


Yet.


"So I made the right choice?"


The goddess nodded. "Most do not. They are afraid of pain- as if physical pain is worse then emotional."


Kagome was silent for a moment.


"Is that why Inu-Yasha's mother was killed? Did she make the wrong decision?"


Giving her a swift look up and down, the Moon Goddess finally replied. ". . . Yes. And then the wilderness in her blood attacked her, ripping her insides apart before the pack killed her off completely."


Kag bit her lip, deciding that was all she wanted to know. Besides, more pressing matters were now at hand.


"What do I do next?"


"You figure out and compete what this riddle is trying to tell you," the goddess replied solemnly, looking her daughter straight in the eye.


Kagome nodded.


"It's what you taste when you're together


It's what is flowing through you now


You must taste it from each other


And trust you'll make it through somehow.


Literally break it-


The essential symbol of a lover.


Before you inflict the same to you


For then you'll always have the other."


With this said, the rose-smelling wind began to blow once more, swirling around Kagome and the Moon Goddess, making their hair fly in all directions.


"But I don't-!"


"Think, Kagome. Good luck," the goddess smiled, closing her lightly powdered eyes.


And then she was gone.


All that was left of her were a few shimmering rose petals that slowly floated to the ground as the wind died.


Kagome was alone once more.


*


It all clicked at once.


The knife fell to the ground with a muffled thud.


"No. . ." Kagome whispered softly, slowly sinking to her knees as the riddle made sense. "No. . ."


Tears began to well up in her eyes.


She couldn't do it- But she had to. To be with Inu-Yasha. . .


She had to.


Picking up the knife again with shaking hands, Kagome slowly made her way down the cliff as the moon rose to the middle of the dark sky.


*


"Hey! There she is!" a random pack member cried, pointing to the dark silhouette of a girl walking through the woods.


"Kagome!" Sango yelped, ripping herself out of Miroku's arms. But the girl did not reply to anyone who called out her name.


She had to ignore them.


She had to complete her task.


"Kagome. . ." Inu-Yasha whispered, rushing up to the girl before she had made it completely to him. "I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you. . . I. . . I. . ."


Kag looked up at him with wide, tear filled eyes. "Inu-Yasha?"


"Yes. . .?"


"Do. . . do you trust me?"


Inu was slightly surprised by this question, but shook it off. "Of course I trust you. I trust you completely."


The girl looked down at the knife still in her hands.


"Then please. . . trust my actions," she whispered, tears falling from her eyes and landing with soft splashes on the knife.


With a trembling hand, Kagome raised the knife and made a small, shallow cut on Inu-Yasha's bottom lip before doing the same thing to herself.


"Kagome. . .?" he cocked his head, bewildered as he instinctively draping his arms around her waist.


"Trust me," she murmured softly- - - before pressing her lips to his in a gentle kiss- a kiss sweet with the bitter, metallic taste of their blood. She allowed him to deepen it slightly, savoring the feel of his tongue against her own in overwhelming sadness. But eventually they had to pull apart, and when that happened Kag instantly stepped closer; wrapping her arms tightly around his torso. Somewhere deep inside him, Inu knew what was going on- but he didn't care.


*Hold on to me love


You know I can't stay long


All I wanted to say was I love you and I'm not afraid


Can you hear me?


Can you feel me in your arms?*


"I'm so sorry, Inu-Yasha," the girl murmured softly, pulling slightly away.


"It's all right," he whispered back, kissing her tears away.


Staring deep into his eyes, Kag raised the knife and brought it down again-


Right into Inu-Yasha's heart.


*Holding my last breath


Safe inside myself


Are all my thoughts of you


Sweet raptured light


It ends here tonight*


The werewolves that had been rushing over to see Kag stopped in their tracks, horrified by the sight before them. As the girl ripped the weapon from his chest, the werewolf fell to his knees- the pain intense as she stood over him; blade still raised as it dripped eerily, droplets of his own essence splattering on top of his head. They stayed like that for an eternity of seconds before time started up again.


"Inu-Yasha," Kagome finally breathed, pathetically sinking to her knees next to him as she helped him lie down. "I'm sorry, so sorry. . ."


Inu was breathing hard, his blood seeping through his clothes and pooling up beside the pair.


*I'll miss the winter


A world of fragile things


Look for me in the white forest


Hiding in a hollow tree (come and find me)*


"Kagome. . ." the silver hared werewolf choked hoarsely, looking up at the sobbing girl though half lidded, unfocussed eyes. "I. . . understand. . ."


The girl bit her lip as tears continued to fall down her face.


"I. . .trust you. . . I love you. . ."


*I know you hear me


I can taste it in your tears!


Holding my last breath


Safe inside myself


Are all my thoughts of you


Sweet raptured light


It ends here tonight*


"I love you too, Inu-Yasha. . . Forever," Kagome promised forcefully, ignoring the blood that was soaking her clothes. Inu-Yasha smiled slightly through his pain.


"I. . . know. . ."


*Closing your eyes to disappear


You pray your dreams will leave you here


But still you wake and know the truth


No one's there!*


"See. . . you soon, Kagome. . ." the werewolf whispered as his eyes fluttered shut.


*Say goodnight


Don't be afraid


Calling me, calling me as you


Fade to black*


He was dead.


She had killed him, but he still trusted her- loved her.


Gods, she loved him!


Crying so hard that the ground around her was slowly becoming mud, Kagome raised the knife once more, whole body convulsing with shivers.


Time to complete this stupid Trial!


With one swift movement, Kag pierced the blood stained knife through her own heart.


She was dead in an instant.


*(Say goodnight)


Holding my last breath


(Don't be afraid)


Safe inside my self


Are all my thoughts of you


Sweet raptured light*


The werewolves stood, frozen in their spots, as Kagome released her last gasp of air- landing gently on top of Inu-Yasha as her blood mixed with his, her ocean eyes blank; her tears finally dry.


That was it.


The Trial was over.


*It ends here tonight*

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