Chapter 19 - Show me love!

Tohru finished washing the dishes and sat down to rest. It was quite an ordeal that morning since Kagura, Kisa, and Rin had arrived. She really wanted to speak with Kureno but decided to respect his wishes and leave the matters for later. In all honesty, she had not seen Kureno all day beside that morning. She had not seen Hatori either.

Tohru excused herself to go do chores, a get away from the awkward situation. She couldn't help but wonder why it was such a big deal that she was a woman living with the Sohma men. It was not proper for one thing, but she did not know her presence would bring such chaos into their unique family.

Kagura seemed to be such a fun-loving girl... but a love for Kyo. A love...

Kisa was so adorabe. Tohru wanted to talk to her more, but feared getting the Sohma men in trouble. If she talked too much she might give away her position. Then again, Kisa kept giving Tohru strange little smiles...

Rin was the most enigmatic of the three. She had an air of respect around her and didn't seem to like Tohru too much. But earlier when Rin saw Haru she turned away and avoided him at all costs. At any rate, the three girls were very unique and beautiful just like all the Sohmas were. Boy, did they have good genes.

Now that she thought about it, Rin was that girl that Haru was yelling about wasn't it?

"Haru fell in love with Rin. He's told her a number of times that he really loves her, but... she acts indifferent every time."

She thought back on Yuki's words and stared up at the ceiling. She wondered why Rin did not love Haru back...

She could hear some of the host members arguing about one thing or another and decided to go outside and clear her thoughts. She got up from her seat and stepped outside when she heard hushed voices outside. She stopped and was about to turn away when she heard her voice.

"No, Haru."

"But why, Rin? God, why don't you love me like I love you? We used to go out and...!"

Rin spun on Haru, her narrow eyes trying to pass the message of 'go away'. Tohru watched from behind a small pillar. "That was then, this is now. And you always say you love me! Do you really love me?"

Haru growled, on the verge of changing black. He took a step closer to her. "I don't get you."

"And I don't get you!" Rin whispered back non too softly. She motioned her hand to the house. "You think this makes me love you more? Flirting with millions of other girls really makes me love you, Haru." She walked away. "You just don't understand. You're such an idiot."

Haru grabbed her by the arm and spun her around to face him again. "I am not an idiot."

"You are!" She looked away. "I don't want to talk about it."

"The girls at the host club," Haru started as Rin's eyes widened at the mentioning of the customers, "they say I'm not stupid."

Rin slapped Haru in the face, ripping her arm from his grasp. Haru kept his face turned the other way as Rin glared at Haru. He could feel his entire face stinging with hurt, but nothing hurt more than her silent scowl. She didn't say anything, just staring at him with glassy eyes. Was she about to cry? She closed her eyes, swiftly leaving the scene.

Haru stayed on the lawn, his fists clentching as Rin walked away. "Damnit... damnit..."

Tohru felt bad for eavesdropping but didn't like seeing Haru so angry either. She stepped down the porch and walked slowly toward Haru.

"Hatsuharu-san?" She asked quietly.

"Why?" He cursed to the wind. He loved her so much. He just couldn't understand what was making her so angry! "Damnit, why?"

Tohru put a hand to his shoulder. She was risking her life here if Black Haru decided to show up. "Hatsu..." Suddenly Haru turned into her embrace, like a child crying to his mother for comfort. Her eyes widened as he leaned his head on her shoulder, shaking.

"I know she loves me... the way she looks back when I look at her, her secret smiles, they way she thinks about others behind her facade... I love everything about her. I just don't get it." He continued.

Tohru let him lean on her shoulder as he kept cursing himself and everything around him.

She stared past his shoulder watching a bird flutter around a bird bath. "Maybe..." she started off, "Rin-san cannot understand why it is that you love her so much if you're willing to be a host.

"I mean, Yuki-kun told me that love and host are never used in the same sentance." She looked down at his domino-colored hair as he stared down at her feet. A slight breeze went by.

"I do it," Haru finally spoke up, "because I want to make her happy." Tohru finally caught his cool gray eyes as he looked up at her. He was not white or black, she noticed. He was really just a normal man, confused to why the love in his life was not returning his feelings. " 'A host makes women happy but a man makes onewoman happy' as it goes," he looked away, "I don't know how to make Rin happy though. What does she want of me? I don't understand, so if I continue to be a host, perhaps I will learn to make Rin happy by example of those other girls."

"I think it's every girls dream to have the attention of only one man. Being with other women perhaps... is making her jealous."

"You think she's jealous?" He half laughed.

"Perhaps." Tohru sighed, "I know that it sounds selfish, but to a girl she wants to be special. Treated like and loved like an individual. Thinking that if you learn to please many women might help you learn to make that one special girl happy, it won't." She closed her eyes gravely thinking of Satsuki, "It just won't make that one girl happy.

"My mom used to tell me that everyone is an individual. To learn to love them you spend time with them and get to know them." There was silence in the afternoon air as the pair stood on the lawn.

"I can't learn to make Rin happy by making other girls happy..." Haru repeated to himself.

"Spend time with her, hold her, show her you love her and only her." Tohru smiled.

'Show her I love her hua?' Haru's eyes closed and he only leaned his head on her chest again thinking over what Tohru just said to him.

"Thank you."

Tohru finally put her hands around Haru's back, rubbing it soothingly as the younger man tried to calm his nerves. There were no more words spoken after that, both swimming in their own thoughts.

'What I would give just to be with you...'

---

Finally at the end of the evening, after Tohru happily made dinner for the entire zodiac family (Kyo and Kisa helped her out in the kitchen) the girls stood up from the couches after chit-chatting for hours on end. Everyone was seated in the main hall now, Kureno and Hatori rejoining the group as well. "It looks like we better head home now." Kagura said. She spun on Kyo with hearts in her eyes. "Good bye, Kyo-kun, my love!"

"Devil."

"What was that?"

"I said BYE." Kyo said a bit louder.

Rin stood up as well and ushered Kisa to the door. "We'll stop by again sometime." She said staring right at Tohru.

'Do you think she can tell I'm a girl? Oh she probably does! I hope I don't get the Sohma men in too much trouble if they find out!' Tohru thought while saying good bye to the guests.

"Rin."

Tohru looked to her side to see Haru walk up to Rin with his hands to his sides. Rin stared at Haru with the same narrowed eyes she had earlier that afternoon. She leaned her weight to one side, her hip jutting out to the side while she folded her arms around her.

Haru only stared at Rin calmly dispite her body language. "Um, it was really nice seeing you again."

"Sure."

"And... I..." he paused staring her straight in the eye. He really wanted to make RIn happy. He didn't care how hard it would be or how many times she pushed him away because he was a host. He loved her that much. Enough to make this decision on his own. "I decided to quit being the Wild Card Host, and leave the main house."

Everyone gasped and Tohru caught Rin's eyes widening and her entire body slacking.

"W-what?" She asked in confusion.

Haru decided he was already half way into the river, it was time to jump in. He kissed her full on this lips, her eyes wide and stricken. She tried to push him away but he only held her tighter before she gave in to his passionate kiss.

"I want to be with you, Rin." He said as their lips parted. "Host or not, I've always cared about you. Someone told me," Haru looked away a little embarrassed, "that not only do I say I love you, but I need to show you I love you." Haru pulled a hand through her silky hair. "What good is being a host when I can't... I can't have you?"

"Haru, no..."

"I want to make only you happy."

Silence englufed the room and finally Rin let a few warm tears fall from her eyes. No messy sobs, just tears telling Haru everything he needed to. That's what she'd been waiting for him to say.

"So those other girls?"

"Only you, Rin." He said briskly. She looked around at everyone watching them and just put her hands around his neck, hugging him close. She cared so much for him.

'So that was it.' Tohru thought to herself. She just wanted Haru to be with her. She wanted Haru to show her that he loved her. Saying it was one thing, but to show someone you loved them was another.

Tohru sighed happily and caught Kisa's stare. The girl stared at her with innocent eyes and then smiled. Tohru was not sure what she was smiling about but just smiled back.

"That was a nice thing you did, Tohru-san..." Kisa whispered.

"What?" Tohru asked.

Kisa nodded, "I heared this afternoon... what you said to Haru-niichan. I came outside to look for him or Rin-oneesan and didn't want to interupt." She whispered. "It made me very happy. Haru-niichan loves Rin-oneesan very much and I know she loves him too. She was always trying to protect him but who was there to protect her?" Kisa looked down, "You made them both very happy."

Tohru watched the young girl cast a wary glance at Hiro from across the room. Kisa looked away instantly and just watched Rin and Haru hug.

Rin let go of Haru, both of them giving each other one more glace at one another's face. Rin's features stayed void as Haru's features broke into a smile, startling the zodiac horse.

"I'll see you soon."

Suddenly she raised a hand to his cheek and nodded. "Okay." Haru could have sworn he saw a ghost of a smile caressing her lips. She turned and walked out the door with Kagura.

"We'll be checking in again soon." Rin said, giving Tohru one more fleeting stare down.

"Bye bye! See you later!" Kagura called over her shoulder.

Kisa tugged Tohru's pants so the girl would bend over to let Kisa whisper in her ear.

"And one more thing?"

"Yes?" Tohru responded.

"I won't tell Rin-oneesan that you're a girl."

Tohru blushed as Kisa skipped out the door to follow the other two Sohma girls. Tohru wondered how she knew.

Shigure closed the door and suddenly everyone released sigh.

"Glad that's over." Kyo muttered.

Ayame turned to Haru who was already walking away. "Haru..."

The man stopped walking without turning around. "I really love her, Aya-niisan. I want to take the same path as Kureno. I want to show her... that I love her."

Ayame looked away in thought. "I understand." Haru nodded before Yuki stopped him. Haru looked into Yuki's worried eyes and smiled. "It's okay. I know what I'm doing."

"Are you sure, Haru?"

"I'll still visit frequently and summer is coming to an end, Yuki." Haru held Yuki's gaze, "don't you wish for something to happen before summer ends too? You worry about me too much anyway." Haru put a hand on Yuki's shoulder. "Maybe that's why I fell in love with you."

"WHAT?" Tohru squeeked as Kyo rolled his eyes in the background.

Yuki gave Haru a dull look. "Must you always bring that up?"

"B-but, I thought that Rin-san was Hatsuharu-san's...!"

"Oh no," Haru chuckled while hugging Yuki close to him, "Yuki is my first love. He broke the curse for me. He will always be dear."

Yuki fruitlessly pulled away from Haru's arms snaking around his neck. "Will you cut that out? People are going to start thinking we're gay."

"I wouldn't mind... maybe bisexual would be better. Would you mind?"

"Yes. Yes, actually I would very much mind." Yuki said pealing Haru's arm off from around him.

Tohru only muttered incoherent noises as Haru excused himself.

"I...I would have never guessed!" She continued with swirling eyes.

Yuki sighed and looked at Haru's back. "But he really did always love Rin." He smiled warmly, surprising Tohru. "It makes me hope to fall in love again."

Tohru nodded. "I'll miss Hatsuharu-san very much."

Momiji looked like he was about to cry. "Does that mean Haru is going to resign? Just like Kureno?"

Ayame stayed silent. Tohru thought it was odd that he was acting rather serious.

"Yes." Shigure said seeing that Ayame was not responding.

"But he will be happier than he'd ever been." Yuki said after a moment. Tohru nodded and turned to the group of men.

"I hope I'm not prodding but... I've always been wondering this. If you have been released from the curse by loving someone, how did you know you were in love?"

Momiji looked thoughtful, "to be honest, it just happened."

"She made me like the happiest man in the world." Hatori said.

"We were high school sweethearts." Yuki responded.

"Then what happened?" Tohru asked again. Everyone stared at her sadly.

"I told her I still needed to take care of something." Ayame said.

"She feared me." Hatori said.

"She just didn't love me the way I loved her." Momiji said.

Tohru turned to Kureno. "So even if you fall in love sometimes it... doesn't last?" She looked down rather sadly.

Kureno nodded. "But everyone learns to love again."

Tohru thought on that sentance for a while. "I'm so sorry."

Shigure waved a hand at her. "Don't be! Falling in love was quite the experience and as the saying goes there are plently of fish in the sea!"

Yuki gave Shigure a side glance. "What makes you so sure any of those fish want a perverted idiot like you?"

"Who wouldn't want a piece of this hot muffin?" Shigure laughed.

"But that certain person broke the curse for you!" Tohru stated bringing everyone back on topic. "Didn't that mean something?"

"It did, Tohru," Hatori said, "and those special people made us who we are today. That's it. It's okay to move on."

Tohru only nodded now feeling quite sad for the Sohmas. But Hatori was right, the people we fall in love with shape who we are but it was okay to stop loving someone. Even if they did not return your feelings all the time or leave you in heartache, it was okay. There were plenty of other people around you that would be there.

And she hoped she could be there for the Sohmas as long as she could.

"Um... one more thing."

"Go ahead." Shigure smiled.

"Why did it matter if Rin-san, Kagura-san, and Kisa-san knew I was a girl or not?"

Everyone sweatdropped.

"Um, Kagura has a thing about any woman, besides the customers, being so close to Kyo-kun." Shigure responded. "Also, it's sort of an unwritten rule that no one of the opposite sex is supposed to live with us. Same goes for them. Oh, they host their own club not too far from here, just on the outskirts of this town. It is mostly where the female society gets together to do who-knows-what."

"In other words he never asked or thought about what they did." Hiro clarified.

Shigure nodded."That's why I think Rin and Ha-kun are going to move in together somewhere. Oh boy," Shigure sighed, "but what a mess it would have been if they knew a woman, nonetheless a cute woman was living with us."

"I'm going to get you in trouble, then?" Tohru panicked.

"No, no, don't worry." Shigure looked to the door, "we won't let anything happen to you. Besides, I don't know how long we can really keep this a secret, but the initial shock might have sent them through the roof and you packing your bags. But Kagura is normally the one that throws a fit when it comes to Kyo-kun."

Tohru laughed. "I see. She really loves, Kyo-kun then." She watched everyone's face fall seeing how forced that statement came out. "E-excuse me, I'm a little tired from all that traveling and finally being able to meet the Sohma women. If you don't mind...?"

Hatori motioned his hand upstairs. "Please, have a good nights rest, Tohru-san."

"Thank you. Good night everyone."

Everyone gave her a collective 'good night' as she excused herself and went to her bedroom to change her clothes and go to bed. She didn't want to see his reaction to what she just said. What was she thinking? She only tried to block the thoughts that her time with Kyo at the beach might be her only time with him ever.

Back in the main hall Momiji turned to Kyo after she was well out of range. "Kyo, why didn't you stop her?"

The boy only shrugged and turned away. "Why would I? She said she was tired."

"Kyo, you know what I mean!" Momiji pouted.

"And what about you, you little faker? Yuki's not really sick and your leg looks fine! You set us up!"

"That's because I know you like Tohru!"

"What?"

"And she likes you!"

"..."

Seeing that Kyo had nothing to say to that Momiji nudged Kyo. "So what are you going to do?"

Kyo punched Momiji on the head. "You talk to much."

"Waaahhh! Kyo hit me! Someone! Kyo hit meeee!"

"You are SO annoying." Kyo muttered while Momiji continued to cry.

"Kyo-kun, taking it out on Momichi won't solve your problems you know." Shigure said after a moment trying to get his voice over Momiji's rather loud one.

Kyo clentched his teeth and walked away. "I'm going to the roof."

"Did you see her face everytime you and Kagura were together? She really was trying to smile for you, Kyonkichi." Ayame said inspecting his nails. "I think she thinks that you and Kagura are an item."

"What!" Kyo thought about it and he could not imagine himself with Kagura in that manner. At one time, yes, but now...?

"A hot item, perhaps?"

"Hell no! That woman would be the death of me I tell you!"

"Then tell Tohru that you really like her!" Ayame said. "My gosh, you act like a sissy pre-teen."

In all honesty, Kyo wanted to tell Tohru he liked her too, but he was afraid of what she'd say. And there was that Satsuki guy always lingering in the back of her mind. He just didn't know what to do about his feelings.

Every smile, every look, every word... he couldn't comprehend why it was that he loved her so much. He didn't want to be the host that made women happy. He wanted to be the man that made one girl happy. One Tohru Honda. He wanted to show her he loved her, he wanted to tell her he loved her, but didn't know what to do. He felt shy and awkward, but at the same time strong and free when he was with her. He just didn't know why it was he loved he so much but he guessed it didn't matter since he loved her anyway. And yet that same question lingered in his mind: would she love him too?

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