Chapter 22 - Our private confession

He didn't know what came over him. The tea, the closeness of their bodies, her giggling, it could have been a number of things that gave him the urge to taste those lips of hers. But he did it. He kissed her. She was even better than he ever drempt her kiss would be like. So sweet she was, like sugar, and the hint of cheesecake and straweberries tingled his sences. It was like a drug and he craved more.

Suddenly all his sences zoned in on reality. 'What are you doing?' he screamed at himself.

Kyo tore himself away from Tohru as if she suddenly lit on fire. They both leaned away from each other, Tohru touching her tender lips and Kyo staring at her wide eyed. He couldn't believe he'd done that. She probably hated him now! He felt like a lecher! He had no right to straight out kiss Tohru. Oh God, he wasn't thinking at all.

Tohru on the other hand was mostly confused. Thousands of emotions threw her for a ride. He kissed her! But had she kissed him back? She couldn't remember! Oh but it was a wonderful feeling. But wait! Did he think she didn't like that kiss? What if he realized that she was nothing but a worthless girl and that's why he broke off the kiss? What about Satsuki?

After that final question, her mind drew a blank. What about Satsuki? Oh God, what was she going to do?

"Kyo-kun..." she whispered. Kyo gulped hearing his name on her lips. Those supple lips that he'd just kissed moments ago. Suddenly tears welt up in her eyes and she got up. "I'm sorry!" She burst out before running from the kitchen with an arm covering her eyes.

"Tohru!" Kyo yelled out. He should have ran after her, but his feet were glued to the floor. What had he done? He screwed up everything and now she ran away crying. She hated him. It was too soon and he practically imposed on her. He pounded his fist on the table while clentching his teeth. "Damnit!"

Tohru heard Kyo's loud curse and it frightened her even more. He must have been so angry! She felt her chest heave as she ran past Haru and straight to her room.

Haru peaked around his box of things to see a flash of brown hair zip by him. "Tohru?"

She closed the door with a slam and locked the door while sliding down the cool wood and slinking down to her knees.

Haru stared at her door for a moment. What was the matter with her? He carefully placed the box down and closed his packing box. Haru pulled from his back pocket a permanent marker writing, 'Clothes', before capping the marker and walking over to Tohru's door. He listened for a moment to hear her quietly sobbing.

Knock Knock Knock

"Tohru? Tohru, what's the matter? Tohru open the door." It was Haru.

Tohru didn't answer she just stared at the floor in dismay.

"Tohru, come on, talk to me, tell me what's wrong in there." Since Haru was no longer a host he was packing his boxes for his moving day. Seeing Tohru in such distress, he never actually saw her so upset before. To say the least, it was a bit scary. He knocked again only to hear her blowing her nose.

Tohru crossed the room to sit on the floor by her bed. That one kiss... it was actually very nice, but the look on Kyo's face after they kissed...

She shruttered. This only complicated things even more.

True, she really liked Kyo and as of lately she'd grown to like him even more. But wasn't he and Kagura an item? Then why did he kiss her?

And what about herself? Was she still engaged to Satsuki? Was she not being faithful anymore?

Knock Knock Knock

"Tohru, come on! Open up please!" Haru said through the door. Tohru looked up and heard the door knob jiggle. She got up and ran for her balcony and opened it up. Staring over the ledge she hopped over and held onto the rails while making her way down her room. It was crazy, but she needed to get away. Lucky for her, a rose trellis was below her window and she climbed down the rest of the way. Without a thought on mind she took off, running to cool her nerves.

Haru finally burst through the door and was surprised to see the room completely empty but the linen curtains blowing in the wind. Haru's heart raced and he ran over to the balcony to see Tohru on the ground.

"shoot." He cursed. He was actually surprised she was able to get down. He sped down the stairway and into the main hall where the festivities were. Ritsu was the first to turn to him.

"Hatsuharu-kun!"

"She's jumped out her window!" Haru burst earning the attention of Yuki, Shigure and Hatori. "Tohru actually jumped!" He looked around at all their frightened faces. "Oh, but she's alive or whatever." Everyone released a breath.

Kyo, pacing the kitchen, heared Haru. His heart lept and he charged into the main hall, earning a squeal from the entire room of girls.

"Where'd she go?" Kyo asked, completely ignoring the girls groaping for him.

Haru ran for the door. "I don't know, but she was crying an awful lot!"

Before Kyo could run with Haru he had a hand shoot out infront of him and a pair of dark violet eyes glaring. "What did you do to Honda-san?" Yuki growled quietly.

"None of your damn business!"

"The hell it is my business, you stupid cat!" Yuki shouted uncharacteristically.

Kyo for one was startled to actually hear the other man curse at him. Kyo stared at Yuki before brushing past him. He didn't say anything. He didn't owe Yuki an explanation of anything at all. This was between him and Tohru and right now, she was the one he needed to talk to and worry about.

Haru and Kyo ran out the doors leaving everyone else in complete suspension. Shigure was about to go after her as well but Hatori held him back. Hatori merely shook his head. Shigure stared at him and then to the door. What made her run away so abruptly?

Yuki clentched his fist while standing next to Shigure. "If it has anything to do with that baka neko, he's going to answer to me when he gets back."

Hatori looked back at the customers watching with worried eyes. "Kyo won't come back without Tohru-san. I think you know that already, Yuki."

Yuki could help but feel rather angry at Kyo. He promised himself that he wouldn't alow anyone to make Tohru upset anymore. At first he was positive that Kyo would only cause her more pain but seeing that Tohru was most happy around the cat, he let them be. But now Tohru had run away and his first guess was it was Kyo's fault.

"What an idiot." he whispered.


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Haru and Kyo ran outside as Haru ran toward the streets and Kyo searched the grounds around the house. Kyo checked in every place he could think of. He was so stupid! Or she was so rash! Whichever it was, he had to find her. He just couldn't belive she'd run away. But where would she go?

Meanwhile, Tohru had stopped running after a while with no idea that Haru and Kyo were out searching for her. She wandered just beyond the hills of the Sohma grounds, trying to get herself together as she collapsed on the grass. She hoped that no one would notice her disapperance for a short time. She just needed to think.

Lucky for Haru, he spotted her farmiliar form from a distance. Immensely mollified she was okay, he trotted over to Tohru and she looked up at him with tear stained cheeks as he approached her. Finally standing before the girl on the ground, Haru wasn't sure what to say. Was she mad that he came?

"Tohru?"

Tohru couldn't say anything. She didn't want Haru to see her crying like this. She turned away from Haru, only the grass softly swaying around her to accompany her choked sobs. "I'm a fool."

Haru sat next to Tohru. "Why would you think that?"

Tohru wiped her eyes with her palms. "I can't be with Kyo-kun. I'm not good enough for him. And then he kisses me and dispite how much it felt right, I know it's wrong! And then the look on his face. He looked deeply bitter. He knows that I am a worthless girl..."

He was taken back when she said Kyo kissed her but figured it was about time anyway. Haru lifted Tohru's chin up. "Tohru, please stop thinking of yourself that way. I don't understand why you always refer to yourself as worthless."

Tohru stared off at her small toes. "Because Satuski makes me feel that way."

Haru's eyes widened. "Satsuki?"

"He was my fiance... or is my fiance." Tohru moaned with frusteration. "I'm so confused."

Haru rubbed her back. "Tohru, I think you are too hard on yourself. Maybe it was a misunderstanding."

"But the look on Kyo-kun's face! I... I made him sad. I don't want him sad. And then he cursed when I ran away, so I made him mad." Tohru couldn't contain her eternal guilt. It was tearing her apart. Why did Satsuki have such a hold on her when her heart was also tugging her toward Kyo?

Haru leaned back to be supported by his elbows as he stared up at the cloudy sky. "Kyo get's mad easily and I don't think it's directed toward you anyway. If anything, it's something he did that was really stupid." He paused and sat up, holding his hand to her. "Please, just come home. Kyo was worried when I said that you jumped out the window."

Tohru looked up with surprise. "Eh? I didn't jump. There was a trellis right under my window and I climbed down it."

"Oh. I was hoping you had some magical powers or something... you know, something that would give this story a twist? Us Sohmas with a curse, you with some kind of awesome witchcraft... it would have made a cool story."

Tohru smiled. "Too much fanfiction, Hatsuharu-san?"

The other boy looked away. "Maybe." He stood up with Tohru and put an arm around her, rubbing her shoulder warmly. "Come on, I bet Kyo's really scared right now."

Tohru stared at Haru questioningly. "Scared?"


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Haru and Tohru walked in the direction that Kyo was and to say the least Kyo was looking terrible. He had finished searching the inside of the Sohma gates and was searing down the main streets.

"Kyo!" Haru called out. Kyo looked up and saw Tohru walking beside Haru with her hands tightly clamped.

He dropped everything and ran for Tohru. She was startled when she felt Kyo grab her roughly.

"Tohru, why did you run away?" He nearly yelled at her, shaking her shoulders. "Do you know how worried I was? What the hell, you're such a scary girl, you know that?"

Tohru's eyes just filled up with more tears at hearing Kyo actually yelling at her.

"I... I'm sorry."

Haru put a hand on Kyo's shoulder telling him to ease up. Kyo watched her sniffle and just turned away trying to get his own emotions in check.

"Oh, stop apologizing for something that wasn't your fault." He tried with a softer voice.

"But I made you mad..."

Kyo turned around when she said that. "You... you didn't make me mad, Tohru. I thought that I made you upset."

Tohru shook her head still cast downwards. "No, I wasn't upset... just... confused. You," Tohru faultered over the word, "k...kissing me wouldn't make me upset. Never."

Haru had a grin forming on his face. Oh did he have some stories to tell when they got back to the Sohma house. A kiss? A misunderstanding?

"Drama drama drama..." Haru muttered while walking away and into the Sohma gates. "I'll catch you guys inside the house, and no running away anymore."

Tohru blushed and dried her tears away.

"Hey," Kyo started. Tohru looked up at him to see him facing her with a tender facade. "Are you okay?" She'd never seen Kyo really that scared before. She didn't think anything could scare him.

Without knowing it, she reached up to touch his cheek before letting her hand run down the side of his face and back to her side. "Kyo-kun, I'm not upset that you kissed me." She stared at the fountain beside her. It glistened in the afternoon sun. "I still just, I'm still scared about relationships. My heart is telling me yes, but my mind is saying no." She looked up at Kyo with a small smile. "I'm just a crazy person."

He took her head in his hands and kissed the top of her brown hair. "Then I'm crazy too." He had to tell her how he felt. It was now or never.

She felt his lips on her head and on command she closed her eyes imagining those lips on her own once again. "It's me that's causing you so much grief. I'm just in the way, Kyo-kun."

Kyo almost chuckled. Same Tohru always degrating herself for nothing. He wanted nothing more than to make her see that she was perfect. "Stupid girl, you're... you're more than anything I've ever wanted, than I ever dreamed."

Tohru half laughed. "Did Kyo-kun say that to Kagura-san too?"

Ouch.

Kyo made contact with her blue eyes. Was that also bothering her? He didn't know Tohru to say such words even though her voice held no malice. "No. Kagura and I are not an item."

"...But were you?" She saw his open his mouth and shut it quickly. "You can tell me the truth," she looked him dead in the eye, "I won't get mad."

"Do you ever get mad?" Kyo joked. She smiled and it eased the tension even just slightly. Kyo sighed. "I won't lie to you, Tohru. Yes, at one time we were... sort of an item. But it just wasn't working out. I broke the curse for Kagura, but for me, nothing changed. I was still cursed." He paused, his hands still cradling her head gently as he searched her face for any kind of angry reation, but nothing surfaced. Tohru was just that understanding. He brushed away a few strands of hair from her cheek with his thumb.

"I just never loved Kagura the way I love you." He said.

Tohru was short of breath. Did he just say, what she thought he said?

Kyo noticed Tohru's rather stiff figure. "What's the matter? Please, Tohru, I don't..."

"What did you say?"

Kyo was now confused. "What?"

"What you just said."

" 'Um... Tohru, I don't...' "

She gluped and shook her head while trying to clear her dry throat. "No, no before that."

" 'What's the matter?' "

Tohru laughed seeing that Kyo didn't know what he said himself. "Did you really say that you loved me?" She whispered.

He paused. Did he say he loved her? Crap! He didn't even know he said it! That wasn't the way he wanted to tell her he loved her! He even let it slip? She watched him with waiting eyes. Eyes that were anxious and rather scared. It didn't matter. It was true. He'd really fallen for Tohru. He loved every single thing about her. It was bound to come out eventually, and it was just a matter of when.

Yes. He was in love with Tohru Honda.

He took hold of her hand and smiled as they began walking home. "Yea. I'm... I'm in love with you."

There he said it. And he couldn't believe what a good feeling he got out of saying it. "I'm in love with you." He said again.

Tohru let Kyo drag her home as she grinned from ear to ear. Then the necklace, the kiss, and everything. The person who broke the curse was none other than herself. Kyo had chosen to love her.

But what about herself? Did she love Kyo as well?

"And don't worry about, you know, trying to make me happy or whatever." Kyo said after a moment. "I mean, I... I love you... but it wasn't like I was professing my undying love or anything... so..." he turned around to see Tohru staring at him with that cute little gaze of hers. He blushed, "you don't have to say anything. I just wanted you to know that I really care about you. I'll wait Tohru. I'll wait for you to love me too."

'But I already do.' She thought secretly with happiness bubbling in her chest at the private confession. 'But can I ever really let go of Satsuki?'

And her heart sank.

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