Chapter 29 - The beach house mystery part 2

Kagura looked royally pissed. "Why did Kyo-kun have to be the first to die? I'm going to have a word with Ayame-san about this! It's an outrage, can't he see that Kyo-kun is the best actor up there?" Kagura pouted while Rin rolled her eyes.

"He's dead for half the play."

"It must be so hard to stay dead all that time though! That's real skill!"

Kisa covered her mouth while giggling at her older cousins. If only they knew that Tohru was a girl! To see the girl Kisa met only once before up on stage being the villain was just too funny. Tohru was a bit clutzy and humble but the girl up on stage tonight was a total transformation. In fact, Kisa admitted she was taking her role in full stride. She only wondered how much longer Tohru could keep her secret from her cousins. At any rate, Kisa knew she'd stand to Tohru's defense if Rin and Kagura decided to go berserk on her. There was just something so friendly about Tohru!

"Kagura-neechan is protective of Kyo-nii." Kisa smiled. Rin leaned over almost smirking at the playful tone.

"Are you happy Hiro-kun decided to be in the play as well, Kisa-chan?" Kagura asked. Kisa nodded her head mutely. Kagura sighed and fell back into her seat. "Well, at least Hiro-kun is alive in the play."

Kisa blushed. "It was very nice of him to do this for Haru-niichan. He means very much to me and for Hiro-kun to do this, it makes me so happy."

Rin's attention was averted to the young girl and she gave that a thought. It really was a nice gesture for Hiro to join the play with Hatsuharu. Even thought it took a lot of coaxing, the other high school boy did the favor. Rin had to admit her own closeness to Hiro was similar to the closeness between Kisa and Hatsuharu. She found it a bit humerous that Haru was wary of the idea of Kisa and Hiro going out, while she, on the other hand, was the one pushing the youngsters together. She turned away from Kisa and let her eyes roam the stage curtains. That was an attribute she loved about Haru, he was protective of the ones he loved, always doing it discreetly.

"I'd say Hiro-kun did it more for you than Haru." Rin said.

Kisa's face flamed and she stared at the sheep print on her dress. "R-Rin-neesan is only saying that. Haru-niichan says that Hiro-kun..."

Rin turned sharply on Kisa. "Whatever 'Haru-niichan' said, forget it. He's a big idiot."

Kisa's eyes widened and Kagura nudged her while whispering, "Kisa-chan, she's joking!"

She released a breath while grinning. "O-oh..."

Rin scoffed at how easily Kisa was moved. "You should know me by now."

"H-Hai!" Kisa stuttered again. "It would be bad if Rin-neesan thought Haru-niichan was a baka!"

"Then again, he really is a baka with this black and white hair." Kagura said tapping her jaw. She turned to Kisa with a smile. "So it's okay for you to call him a baka too!"

"E-eh? Kagura-neechan doesn't like Haru-niichan either?" Kisa asked wondering why she called Haru an idiot.

Rin played with a strand of her long black hair muttering, " 'Baka' in Tagalog is 'cow'."

Kagura put a finger to the air, "You know, the Filipino language?"

"Oh." Kisa thought about it and laughed like the cute girl she was. "Then Haru-niichan is a BAKA!"

Somewhere back stage, a certain domino haired man sneezed violently.

"Hush hush, I think the play is starting again." Kagura laughed.


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After the intermission the curtains rose for the second half of the play.
Momiji, Ayame, Yuki, and Haru were present around Kyo who was lying on the floor with a dagger in his heart.

Yuki looked to the audience. "After seeing my beloved dead on the ground we went in search of a detective. We still have yet to see anything from Miroku and I have a guess he as something to do with this." Yuki crossed his arms. "When that guy shows up he'd have to do a lot of explaining." Yuki turned back to the other actors as they began the detective work.

Haru was dressed as a classic Sherlock Holmes as he paced back and fourth in deep thought. He scratched his chin. "I see... and when you burst through the door you found her dead."

Everyone nodded.

Haru pulled out a pipe and played with it at his mouth. "I see... we must take a few steps back and look at the situation from a far away stand point. It seems that Eriol was going in to say good night to Tomoe when he noticed she was not answering the door. He ran to find May and Robin, their two best friends, and the three tried to get into Tomoe's room. Now, May here," Haru looked to Momiji, "went to find help, but the cook did not have a key. The only person with a key was the butler, am I correct?" The actors gave Haru a collective nod. "In the end, Robin and Eriol ended up breaking the door down to find Tomoe dead. Was there anything else?"

Yuki acted remotely depressed while kicking Kyo lightly on his foot. "She was still warm when we found her. She couldn't have been dead for long."

"Very good. Anything else that comes to mind?"

"No. It's just like we told you, Sherlock." Yuki said.

Haru put the pipe to his lips. "Indubitably." He blew a few bubbles from his pipe while striking a pose.

"You just use that word because it makes you sound intelligent." Kyo muttered on the floor with his eyes closed. Haru continued to puff bubbles from his pipe before kicking Kyo's rear side with his rather pointy shoes. He smirked with satisfactory seeing Kyo writhe in slight pain.

Haru turned to Ayame, ignoring Kyo's growls from below. "You said there was the owner of this beach house."

Ayame nooded. "Yes, it is Miroku, but no one as seen him since..."

Suddenly from across the stage came Shigure in his pajama set. "The cook has just told me that Tomoe's door would not open and she was not answering. Dear God, tell me she's okay." The group moved away for Shigure to see Kyo's body. "Oh no!" Tears flowed from Shigure's eyes. "I'm so sorry we could not protect you!" Shigure fell to Kyo's side and cried. "Oh how I wish you were still alive! I'd love to see your lovely smile, your full lips, your full bossom and the sound of your delightful giggle!" From below Shigure, Kyo twitched.

Yuki inched over to Shigure and smacked him on the head. "Take it easy, he's not really dead and it's disturbing when you're talking about the baka-neko here."

Momiji gasped. "Ohmigosh, the butler is Tomoe's secret lover! See the way he speaks so casually of her? It's him, it's him!"

Everyone gaped at that. "What?"

Momiji pulled at Ayame's shirt to gain his attention. "Can you believe that? It was Tomoe's secert lover that killed her! It was him!" He cried while pointing at Shigure.

Haru dropped his act and went to Momiji's side. "Momiji, that's not part of the play..."

Meanwhile Ayame shook his head. "My, my Gure-san, you just can't keep your hands to yourself. A secret lover? I would have never guessed!"

Shigure stood up looking rather disgusted. "What? Aya, I like the ladies, I like all ladies, but I don't swing that way."

"Oh really, what about that time we went to the Bahamas and we got really drunk? I do remember distinctly you were hitting on that man beside us..."

"Hey! At least I hit on a human! You were totally going at it with that tree!"

The audience watched on with confusion, others giggling at their 'friendly' dispute.

Ayame gasped and stomped his foot. "You promised you'd never tell anyone that! I'm telling 'Tori-san!"

Shigure looked panicked. "No! Don't tell him! Ha-san! Don't listen to Aya!"

"LALALA! I'm not listening!"

(5 minutes later)

Hatori's voice, now the narrator, came over the microphone. "And so as Eriol's best friend and the butler run off, May, Sherlock, and Eriol still ponder upon the dead girl." The air filled with the sound of paper rustling. "Apparently the butler returned all the house keys to Miroku before he retired for sleep, which was before Tomoe left to go to sleep as well. Therefore, Miroku is the only one with the keys and he is still -- would you two stop fighting? Shigure! Stop touching Ayame! Ayame let go of Shigure's -- Miroku is still missing." The sound of Hatori trying to break up the fight was still heard faintly as the microphone turned off.

Haru cleared his throat. "Um... right, so we will continue." He straightened his hat on his already messy hair. "So the only suspect we have is this Miroku fellow who is still absent. Is there any reason he would have to kill Tomoe?"

"I'm telling you, it was the butler." Momiji muttered. Yuki gave the boy a look of exaustion and Momiji just smiled and began rocking back and fourth on his feet.

Yuki was still shaking his head at the thought of Shigure and Ayame totally making fools out of themselves on stage but quickly returned to his role. "Ah, Tomoe and Miroku used to go out. She broke up with him later and she and I have been a couple."

Haru turned away. "I see... a revenge."

"Revenge?" Momiji asked.

Haru blew some more bubbles from his pipe. "Yes. It is all so clear to me now. Tomoe had not been cheating with the butler, but rather with Eriol."

Yuki stared at Haru. "What? But she's supposed to be going out with me I thought. How can she be cheating on me when we're going out?"

Kyo twitched slightly on the floor again, feeling rather lame at the moment. It was disgusting how they spoke about him as if he really went out with all those idiots. First Miroku, then Eriol, and now the butler. Damnit he wouldn't go out with any of them! Well, maybe Eriol. That guy's a pretty cool character being able to break down doors and--

'What the hell am I thinking? I am MAN for cripes sake! STOP IT! Okay, think of Tohru. Yes, good start. Tohru is a girl, ah, okay... but she's playing a man. So does that make me in love with a man? BAH!'

Haru continued his explanation as Kyo was entertaining his own thoughts. "Miroku couldn't handle knowing the fact that Tomoe was playing so many different men-- the little tramp-- and decided to put her out of her misery. She was just a sex fiend looking for a good one night stand. Miroku decided he couldn't have her cheating on so many people and wanted to rid her of all her sins, that little skank."

There was a long pause before:

"What the heck are you talking about? That made absolutly NO sense!" Yuki exclaimed throwing his hands up in the air.

Momiji on the other hand was just shaking his head. "Tomoe, I never knew you were such a sex fiend."

Yuki turned on Momiji. "She's NOT! Haru, that's not in the script!"

Haru suddenly found his nails very interesting. "Well I was improvising with my lines..."

"In other words you totally forgot what you were really suppose to say!" Yuki slapped a hand over his face dragging it down slowly. "I'm surrounded by idiots tonight..." he muttered. "Okay, here's what I think-- or rather what you were really supposed to think-- Miroku couldn't handle that Tomoe chose me over him and sought revenge on her, trying to get her to love him again. She refused and things got out of control. As you can see by her bedside, she was eating a snack of bread and butter." Yuki pointed at the knife lodged in her chest. "She couldn't find a butter knife and instead took a steak knife. Miroku threated to kill her with the knife and she still refued to love him and he stabbed her." Yuki glared at Haru. "THAT'S what I think happened."

"Ooh..." Haru pointed a finger at Yuki. "You're good." Yuki just rolled his eyes earning more giggles from the audience.

Finally a new figure appeared on stage. Momiji's face lit up with delight at seeing Tohru. "Miroku!"

Tohru smiled at Momiji as the boy ran over and hugged her, the audience cheering at Momiji's cuteness.

Haru nudged Momiji. "You're not supose to sound so happy to see a bad guy."

"Oh right!" Momiji pushed away from Tohru and put his fists on his hips, pouting at Tohru while lowering his eyebrows. "Miroku!"

Tohru walked over to the group. "Before you blame me, which I figure you will, let me tell my side of the story. I did come to see Tomoe before bed and try to persuade her to love me again. She refused and I grew insanely jealous. I threatened her with a knife and as she struggled against me. I accidentally hit her on the chest with it." Everyone gasped and Yuki went before Tohru.

"So it was you! You jealous man, how could you!"

Tohru turned away toward the audience. "Wait, let me finish."

"Oh no, we're done with listening to you! We have all the evidence we need! Buck'em boys!" Haru said throwing his hand past his shoulder as if calling someone to charge.

"Ah, no wait, let me finish please, Sherlock-san!" Tohru knelt down to Kyo her cloak fluttering around her neatly. "I did not kill Tomoe. When I stabbed her, the blade did not pierce her. It pierced her journal that is within her robe." Tohru lifted Kyo's night gown top to show the journal. "At the impact she fainted. I was frightened by the fact that I actually stabbed her. I do not know how the knife was lodged into her chest in this manner."

"Then how do you suppose she died?" Haru asked.

Tohru looked up at Haru. "Suicide?"

"Wrong answer! You know you stabbed her. None of us stabbed her and why would she stab herself?" Haru threw his hand over his shoulder again. "Buck'em boys!"

Yuki grabbed Haru's hand and forced it down. "Stop saying that!" Yuki turned to Tohru. "Miroku, why did you try to stab her? I loved her so much!"

Tohru turned on Yuki with all the sadness she could muster. Yuki was actually taken back by the glittering of tears in her eyes. "As did I, Eriol! I loved Tomoe with all my heart and all my being! I did not mean for her to die!" Tohru put her head to Kyo's chest, a single tear falling.

Yuki felt his mouth opening and closing before he shook his head. Damn, Tohru was really into this right now. She could take his breath away with just one of those single tear drops. She was surprisingly way better at this than any of them! He carefully looked at Haru. At least Tohru remembered all her lines... He turned back to the villain. "Ah, but n-now she doe not walk among us anymore."

"She chose you over me," Tohru said, "and I have to let it be. I will never have her." There was a pause, and Tohru could hear some of the audience sniffling. She hoped she was doing well so far! She looked up at Yuki. "A moment with her... my last request..."

Yuki nodded, backing away from the couple as the lights dimmed around them, leaving Tohru and Kyo in the spotlight.

Tohru stared at Kyo's face, pushing stray hairs from his face. "I'm sorry I tried to hurt you, my darling." She gulped. This was the scene where she was supposed to kiss Kyo. Oh, but so many people were watching! And wouldn't this be awkward since some of the audience members did not know she was a girl? It might look weird! Ayame had reassured her that it was okay because she was living out many girl's fantasies. She wasn't too sure what Ayame was talking about, but just followed his instructions bravely. It was just a kiss, it wasn't like she had not kissed Kyo before. But this was different! Kagura, Rin, and Kisa were out there somewhere watching this! 'Uwaa... I'm so nervous!' Her face flushed as she neared Kyo's lips.

"Here it is," Shigure said from behind the curtains along with Hatori, Ayame, and Ritsu, watching with awe. "They're going to kiss. My sweet flower, good luck!"

"Shh!" Ayame scolded.

Kyo poked one eye open to see Tohru leaning over him, the light around her making her look almost angelic as her eyes closed and she came closer and closer slowly. Kyo on the other hand could feel his eyes being squeezed tightly as he anticipated Tohru's lips coming closer, his face flaming red right now. He'd kissed her before but it was on accident. This kiss would be planned! Not only that, but he'd be kissing Tohru as a girl and she as a man! This really couldn't get any weirder...

As Tohru's face came closer the audience held their breath. It was as if every girl in the audience was fufilling her dream of kissing Kyo as they watched the play.

They were inches away when Tohru gasped in horror as her large hat fell from her head, allowing her long brown locks to come tumbling down and tickle Kyo in the face. "Ah! My hat!" She quickly brought her hands to her head to find the hat fell off. In her frantic movements she felt the bindings around her breast come loose and she gasped while clutching her chest. Her bossom was not exceptionally huge or anything but the simple motion drew attention to her feminine body parts.

Momiji gasped. "Miroku's a woman!"

Haru looked even more shocked. "Lesbians."

Tohru held one hand to her chest while waving the other at Haru. "No, wait!"

"WHAT?" A terrible banshee screech cried from the audience. Kagura was up on her feet in an instant. "KYO SOHMA!"

Kyo's eyes snapped open at hearing Kagura's angry cry while Haru pointed at Yuki accusingly. "You were dating a lesbian!"

Yuki only sighed again. "Why does everyone insist on straying away from the script?"

From the side the three Sohma girls made their way up the stage, Kagura looking livid of the three. "You were hiding a girl here! Rin-san was right! C'mere Kyo-kun, I'm going to wring your scrawny neck!"

"Oh shoot!" Kyo got up and ran before Kagura could catch him.

"GET OVER HERE!"

"HELL NO, WOMAN!"

Rin went over to Tohru while Kisa stood before Tohru. "Ah, wait a minute, Rin-oneesan!"

WHACK!

"The rule forbids the opposite sex to be living with the Sohmas." Rin simply stated ignoring the cracking of a stick somewhere behind the scenes. The audience began to get restless.

Kagura came from backstage dragging Kyo's lifeless body toward his original spot, dumping the corpse on the floor with a proud smile on her face as she tossed a broken broomstick off to the side. Suddenly she felt two strong arms pull her away. "Hey!"

"Shh, we'll explain later!" Ayame scolded while holding Kisa's hand as well with Hatori leading Rin off stage as well. "We'll talk about this after the play!"

"You defied the rules!" Rin snapped. "We all agreed..."

"I know, I know, but this is an exception! Now hush and I promise to explain later!"

"You'd better." Rin said darkly.

Hatori and Ayame released the girls as the group watched the ending of this crazy play.

Tohru looked side to side while panicking. What was she to do? This wasn't in the script! "I, ah I mean...!"

"My poor little flower... I wish there was something I could do to save her now! I just-- Ri-chan!" Shigure put a hand out to stop Ritsu, but the other man ran out frantically before he could catch him. "Ri-chan, come back here!" Shigure motioned but Ritsu continued on his impromtu.

Suddenly Ritsu appeared from the side, running at Tohru. "Of course he er... she is not a lesbian! Miroku's a transsexual!"

"WHAT?" Everyone exclaimed.

Ritsu put a hand on Tohru's shoulder, acting nothing like his real self. "Miroku was confronting Tomoe about his freak accident. He had surgery and the files were mixed up and insted he got the wrong surgery. He had a sex transplant. He asked Tomoe if she'd still love him in a woman's body, but with a man's heart. Tomoe would not have it though. Embarrassed and frightened, Miroku attempted to kill Tomoe but instead only made her pass out!"

Everyone stared at Ritsu never hearing him act so... confident.

"Wait," Haru shook his head, "who are you again?"

Ritsu looked side to side. He didn't know what he'd sat to that! He just wanted to go save Tohru!

"Ah!" Tohru smiled and motioned toward Ritsu. "He's my surgen! Eh, um Dr. Stevensen-san!"

Everyone just stood there completely blown away by the absurdity of this entire scene. This wasn't like anything they rehearsed.

Haru finally broke the silence looking totally shocked. "Okay, this is some freaky Jerry Springer shoot."

Yuki decided if you couldn't beat them join them. "Fine!" He pointed at Tohru. "Miroku's a transsexual looking to still love Tomoe but it doens't change the fact that she," he exclaimed pointing at Kyo, "is dead now!"

Momiji pointed at Kyo. "Look at the way she died though. She's facing up."

"So someone must have stabbed her." Tohru said while blushing. "Um, you know after I tried to."

"But the door was locked and there are no windows in this room." Yuki reasoned.

"I did not lock the door when I left and the keys were still in my own room when I came here." Tohru said. "Who ever did it had to have came in, killed her, and locked the door to make it look like I was the murderer."

Momiji gasped everyone turning to him. "What is it?" Yuki asked.

"N-nothing, Eriol!" Momiji smiled nervously. "Um, you know, why don't we all sleep on it? Maybe we'll think better with a full night's rest." He began pushing everyone out of the staged room when Haru haulted everyone.

"Wait a second." He looked from Kyo's body to the door and then to the dagger. He gasped as well looking like he'd just found a million dollars. "Oh wow, that's SO cool! It all works out so perfectly."

"What is it?" Tohru asked rather excitedly.

Yuki raised an eyebrow. "Honda-san, you already know how Tomoe died though," he whispered.

"I know but it's still so exciting everytime I hear it!"

Yuki just shook his head.

Haru paced back and fourth and turned to the audience. "So here is how Tomoe died, leading to the true killer.

Miroku came in to see if Tomoe would still love him. She refused and Miroku attempted to stab her. Hitting her journal in her robe, he stunned her and Tomoe passed out. He feared her killed her and fled the room.

Later Tomoe could hear a ruckus outside her door. As she began to come to, someone was knocking on her door. She got up and went to unlock the door but in her dazed state did not know the door was already unlocked and accidentally locked it. That is why when everyone was trying to open the door it was locked because Tomoe had locked it. She still could not figure out what was happening in her state of mind and that's when it happened.

Someone was trying to open the door and whoever had rammed the door open," Haru turned to Yuki, "inadvertently hit the knife into her chest with the impact of the door sending the knife into her heart and Tomoe on the floor." Slowly Haru rose a hand to point it at Yuki. "You. Killed. Tomoe."

Gasps went around the audience as Yuki feigned a shocked look. He backed away while holding his chest. "NOOOO!!"

Haru's voice gained amplitude and he continued to point at Yuki. "It was YOU!"

"Ah cruel world, why did you send such a curse upon this house?" Momiji asked to the sky as Yuki continued to cry out in agony.

Yuki went to Kyo and grabbed the knife from his chest. "Good bye cruel world!"

"No, Prince Yuki!" The crowd screamed.

But it was too late, Yuki plunged the knife into his chest and fell across Kyo's in a heap. 'What a message,' Yuki thoguht darkly as he fell on Kyo's already K.O.ed body, 'killing yourself solves everything.'

Kyo woke up with a start, feeling a warm body over his. "Eh? What the hell?"

Yuki pushed Kyo's head down. "Shh! Shut up, stupid, you're supposed to be dead!"

"OW!"

There was a moment of silence as the two lay lifeless on the floor.

Over the microphone Hatori's voice entered the audience's ears. "And this," he said as the curtains closed, "is the story of true love till death do they part." The music cued and everyone burst out in applause.

Tohru ran to Kyo's side, helping him sit up after Yuki got up from their mini dog pile. "Kyo-kun, are you okay?"

"Ah, I think so. Just blanked out for a second there."

"Get up, hurry!" Ayame said helping Kyo and Tohru up. Kyo still held onto Tohru's hand as everyone linked his or her hands with one anothers for a collective bow. The curtains opened one more time as the actors all bowed to the audience.

"Thank you, thank you!" Ayame called while catching a bouquet of flowers. Yuki caught an airplane with a girl's phone number on it.

Anyhow they gave one last bow before the entire show was finished. Everyone dispersed from the stage, some complaining more than others. Tohru just gave a sigh of relief, glad the affair was over. She was so nervous! Even worse when they drifted away from the script! Tohru smiled at Kyo and moved to change out of her costume. She let her hand slip away from his until he held her back by the hand.

She turned around. "Kyo-kun?"

Kyo moved closer to her and kissed her on the cheek. "You... were great."

She blushed and looked down to their entwined hands. "So were you."

"I was dead."

"Still very important!" She giggled. She squeezed his hand before mouthing 'I'll see you later,' and letting go of his hands before turning away to dress out of her clothes. Kyo watched her leave.

Maybe this entire play was worth it. Tohru looked so happy yet nervous while playing her part. Even though Kyo thought the entire thing was cliche and stupid, it was fun.

"Those names weren't even original. You totally stole them from Inuyasha, Card Captor Sakura, Rurouni Kenshin, and Teen Titans." Hiro complained to Ayame as they walked past Kyo. "And the way Tomoe died? That was from Spiral! You're so unoriginal!"

"Psh," Ayame turned away while putting his hand infront of Hiro's face. "Talk to the hand 'cause the face ain't listening."

"And when do you ever?" Hatori muttered while passing by with a clip board in hand. Suddenly the stage was full of men taking apart the set and chattering with each other about the stage.

Ayame swept stray bangs from his face. "Well, tonights performance was well done."

"No it wasn't." Yuki said.

"So I took the pleasure of hiring a camera crew to film our superb acting skills. Don't worry, editing will be done to clean up the footage."

Kyo's mouth almost hit the floor. "WHAT?"

Haru grinned. "Awesome. We'll cherish the memory of Kyo crossdressing forever."

"This is so going on Japan's funniest Home Videos."

"We'll sell hundreds of copies to our customers!"

"Profits!"

The Sohmas all began chatting as Kyo only sunk down in a corner, wishing he really was dead right now.

And so ends the first Zodiac Host Club Play.

"Hey!" Kagura said tapping her foot impatiently. Everyone turned to the trio of cousins waiting to have an explanation of what on earth was going on. Kisa looking nervous, Kagura looking angry, and Rin looking as if the first person to stare her in the eye would turn to stone. "You all mind telling us why you have a girl in your house when we ALL know it's against the rules?"

Ayame and Shigure exchanged looks. Oh boy, did they have a long explanation.

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