Chapter 37 - I love him!

Upon opening her eyes, Tohru blinked rapidly as her world came into focus. When had she fallen asleep? The boys must all be worried about her since she wasn't down stairs with them eating breakfast. She yawned, feeling surprisingly heavy and empty inside. Why did she feel so weak? She moved to the side of the bed but stopped short of letting her toes hit the ground.

"What?"

She looked around her and found herself in her old bedroom she once shared with Satsuki. The wallpaper looked dull but besides that everything was spotless. The entire room looked as if it had been untouched, as if time had not affected the home at all. Glancing at her wrist, she found it hand cuffed to the headboard of the bed. She stumbled over the side of the bed trying to pull her wrist from the cuffs. She climbed toward the headboard and sat on her knees while trying to pull her arm away. What was this? Why was she here?

She remembered now. She left the Sohma house and upon coming back home... she blacked out. Had Satsuki put her here? She looked down at her clothes and saw she was wearing a different set of clothes. Had Satsuki dressed her? She only shivered and pulled at her wrist harder, feeling the metal scrape against her small wrists. She was not home anymore... she was just not home.

"Ah, you're awake."

Tohru spun around at the voice, holding her captive wrist with her other hand behind her back. "Satsuki."

The man came into the bedroom with a tray of food for Tohru. She stared down at the glass of milk, toast, strawberry jam, and bran muffin. "I hope this is to your liking. I'm afraid I have not been grocery shopping."

"Why am I here?" She asked automatically.

He attempted to reach for her but she jerked away. "You wanted to come home, don't you remember?"

"This isn't home! I said I wanted us to become friends! Friends don't... don't handcuff their friends and... and...!"

She felt Satsuki approach her and sit at the end of the bed. She moved away from him, gathering her knees closer to her body. "The handcuffs are merely to make sure you don't run away, Tohru-chan. I want you here with me always." From his hand she saw the shimmer of a key hanging from a chain. "I have the keys. Maybe if you are a good girl I'll let your hand free." He turned to the window, the sun rays shining on his rough face. Why was it that he looked so distorted? "I've bolted the windows shut and we're on the fifth floor. No one will be able to see you from where you are pinned to the bed." He turned with a smile. "Mine."

Tohru sat in stunned silence. Had he completely lost his mind? She watched Satsuki smile and get up while moving to the door. He had not touched her. She pulled against her handcuffs, saying, "S-Satsuki, you can't leave me here like this! What has gotten into you?"

"It's for your own good. It seems that you forgot where you belong. Don't worry, Tohru-chan," Satsuki disappeared from the doorway, "who will love you more than me?"

She stared at the door with wide eyes. This was all a mistake; she was such a fool for falling into his trap! Satsuki was clearly losing his mind. Now what was she to do? She glanced down at the tray of food Satsuki left at the foot of the bed. How was she to get it now? She reached out with her big toe and dragged the tray to her side, inspecting the items. Just looking at it made her sick.

Her memory filled in. She left the Sohma house and came here with Satsuki. He offered to make dinner before she was going to leave the apartment and return to the Sohma house but after eating she felt light headed. She remembered lying down briefly on the couch when Satsuki approached her and she fell asleep. Had he drugged her?

She stared at the food and pushed it away. She wouldn't chance it, who knew what he could do to her when she was knocked out cold. She let her head hit the headboard and she blew her bangs out of her face. What had she gotten herself into?

'Kyo... I'm scared...'

The only thing she could think about was how right Kyo was and how stupid she was. If she had just listened to him then maybe none of this would have happened. She closed her eyes.

"Now what am I supposed to do? I wish none of this ever happened..." she began crying in desperation. Now she hated herself for crying like a baby. Was this all she could do? Cry?

"I'm so stupid. I almost wish Hatori had erased my memory of the Sohmas. I wouldn't have caused anyone so much pain if I didn't know them at all." She continued to sniffle. "Wouldn't this life be better than knowing the kindness of the Sohmas and then having them taken away? To have a taste of what is good and have it all taken away. I almost wish I didn't meet them. But, Kyo-kun...” the thought of Kyo made her cry even harder. "Kyo-kun, I'm so sorry I hurt you."

Unknown to her, a pair of eyes watched and a pair of ears listened.


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Days past and Tohru began to feel as if death was better than sitting in this room like a prisoner. She refused to eat or drink anything when Satsuki came in with a new tray everyday.

"Darling, won't you eat a little for me?" Satsuki asked kindly, sitting close to Tohru. She said nothing and just stared out the window. Satsuki took a piece of bread off the tray and bit into it, chewing and swallowing. "It tastes good, are you sure you wouldn't share this with me?"

"I'd rather not thank you..." Tohru said quietly. Her voice was horse and her head ached from the bright sunlight and malnourishment on her part.

Satsuki sat still for a moment staring at Tohru. "Why are you so defiant?" He asked suddenly sharply. The next thing Tohru knew, she was on her back, Satsuki straddling her on the bed while she screamed for him to get off. He forced the piece of bread into her mouth nearly choking Tohru. "Eat something! Why won't you eat something?" He screamed at her.

Her eyes watered and she reluctantly chewed the bread while lying on her back. It was difficult but would do anything to get him off her. Her eyes pricked at the pain surging through her mouth and throat.

As soon as the bread was all swallowed, Satsuki sat up and gently lifted Tohru to a sitting position. "Drink." He commanded. She drank.

He put the glass away and sat still again as Tohru had her head still raised defiantly. She was positive that someone would come looking for her eventually. She'd choked down bread in that manner until someone figured she was missing.

Days before, Tohru glanced into the waste basket to find the cell phone Hatori let her borrow in there, smashed to tiny bits. So Satsuki took all her possessions did he? The day after her initial kidnapping, Tohru decided to be as resilient as her body would allow. She wouldn't cry for Satsuki, she wouldn't let him take her down without a fight. He could take all her possessions, her body, anything he thought would suit, but he could never take her heart again. Her heart was with Kyo. She only wished she told him sooner.

"You know, Tohru-chan," Satsuki said softly pulling Tohru from her thoughts, "I still love you very much." From his pocket he pulled out her old engagement ring making Tohru feel uneasy.

"...Where did you get that?" She asked.

"Ayame-san threw it back at me the other day. He said I should keep it since you would never wear this ring again." Satsuki's eye glinted as he reached for Tohru's hand.

She pulled it away. That ring was like the chains of a slave.

Satsuki instead grabbed her handcuffed wrist making her scream in pain but she bit her lip. Her wrist was rubbed raw from the cuffs and it ached to be pulled so roughly. She balled her hand tightly but Satsuki eventually clawed her palm open to expose her bony fingers. She shook her head in dismay as he got a hold of her ring finger.

"There," he said with a sigh once he slipped the ring onto her finger, "just like old times." He bent down to kiss Tohru's brow as a single tear escaped her eye. "I'll make a deal with you, okay? If you be a good girl and keep this ring on your finger, I'll uncuff you to the bed. If you take it off and I find out, I'll cuff both of your hands to the bed, leaving me able to do anything I want with you."

Tohru stared at him. "No."

"Are you sure, darling?" Satsuki asked pulling her wrist. Tohru felt the aching bones of her wrist beg for relief.

She shook her head. It wouldn't be any good to resist. Even if she refused he would make her wear the ring. She bowed her head.

Satsuki smiled and pulled out the key to her wrist's freedom. "That's good. I'll be back later then." Tohru felt the relief of her wrist coming free from its awkward position and she got a good look at her raw and red wrist. She continued to shake her head when she heard the door slam closed and once again Satsuki was gone.

The ring burned her finger. It itched like some disease spreading through her body. She hurriedly tore the ring off and threw it across the room and cradled her hand soothingly. "Please, someone help me..." She begged to the heavens. She took the water Satsuki left her on the tray to clean her wound and tore a part of the bed sheet to use to bandage her wounded wrist. Finally she stood up for the first time and stretched her aching legs and back.

It felt as if she forgot how to use her legs. She walked slowly to the window and stared down at the street. Were the Sohmas even looking for her? Did they think she ran off with Satsuki? She glanced down at the floor to find the engagement band by her foot. She picked it up and let it shine in the sun light. With sadness she slipped the ring onto her finger, feeling the weight of its burden on her. It wouldn't do her any good to have both hands cuffed to the bed.

How much longer was all she could think about.


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It was on the last day Tohru was held captive that Satsuki really snapped on her. He entered her room as usual but this time had no tray of food. When he entered the room Tohru stood up with her left hand in view to make sure he didn't think she was hiding her hand from him.

She watched him carefully as he approached her. What did he have planned?

"Kyo-san I believe is looking for you as we speak."

"Kyo-kun?" When was the last time that name rang in her ears? It sounded like music.

"I was around town and heard a couple talking about the Sohmas looking for their former housekeeper. It seemed like everyone was on the lookout for you."

Tohru couldn't help but smile the tiniest fraction. Her hope had been rekindled.

Satsuki brushed her hair and for the first time she didn't care. "Are you happy with me, darling?" She turned to him as he continued, "I am happy with you."

She dared to speak out saying, "I was never happy with you."

He stopped brushing her hair and his eyes narrowed like a wolf ready to bolt at its prey. His icy eyes pierced at hers and he slapped her across the face making her fall over onto the bed. She squeaked from the shock of the pain hitting her face but didn't move. She wouldn't let him get the best of her. Kyo was going to save her, she knew it!

She moved to sit up on the bed as Satsuki took deep breaths while continuing to watch her. "You don't know what you are doing, Tohru-chan. Stop being so foolish!"

"Y-You don't control me, Satsuki! You could hold me here as long as you see fit and I will never be with you still!" Tohru was surprised with herself seeing herself finally speak with such emotion for so long. She felt her wings spread without the help of anyone.

"Don't talk to me like that! You need me, Tohru-chan. You need me!"

"Who says? Who says I have to listen to you at all? Satsuki is not a nice person at all." Her eyes did not waver at all. She remembered Kyo telling her to say what she really felt. To complain a little. Tell people what was on her mind...

She stretched her wings as she perched on the side of the opened cage door.

She controlled her voice, deciding on a stern yet soft tone of voice. "I think... I think you are the one who needs me more than I need you. Satsuki look at you, you are not the man I met so many years ago. You... you lost sight of what was important in our relationship and just used me like I was nothing to you. I wanted us to be friends but that was not enough for you either." Tohru then looked sad. Looking at Satsuki, she saw not a monster but a person who was lost and lonely. Was that why he controlled her the way he once did? He was afraid... to be alone? "We are over Satsuki. I've moved on and so should you."

She leaped into the air soaring among the other birds.

There was silence before Satsuki's voice became misty and elusive. It made Tohru's skin crawl. "You hate me don't you?"

She said nothing.

Satsuki grinned at her. "This makes everything so much nicer."

"What are you talking about...?”

"You see, even if Kyo-san finds us, I'll be waiting for him. I will kill him."

"No! You can't!" Tohru panicked.

Satsuki smiled. "I will, unless you do something for me."

Tohru stared at Satsuki. She knew this was not leading to something good. She took a few steps away from him as he sat on the bed side, staring at her eagerly.

"Profess your love to me by sleeping with me."

"Never."

"Then he dies."

Tohru stared at him. He sat on the bed with a cocky grin. Was he serious? He couldn't be. Tohru stared down at her unusually pale hands. She couldn't fight him off if he tried to jump her either. "You wouldn't kill, Kyo-kun. Satsuki is not like that." She balled her fists. "I don't think you would do it..."

Satsuki grinned and suddenly fell into a bone chilling cackle. His rich voice echoed off the void walls as Tohru watched him stand up.

"You don't think I'd do it, Tohru-chan?" Reaching behind him, Tohru gasped seeing him pull out a hand gun. He examined it for a moment, feeling the full weight of the weapon before suddenly turning the gun on Tohru.

Her body ran cold, staring at the other end of the barrel. He began walking toward her.

"Darling, I'm mad about you. Mad enough to kill anyone who dares to take you from me."

"You're... you're mad, Satsuki."

"He won't die if you sleep with me." He was getting too close for comfort.

"G-Get away from me!"

Satsuki grabbed Tohru's wrist and flung her to the bed, pushing her over onto her back as he put the gun away again. She lay quivering on the bed, feeling the sheets beneath her, cool and damp from her sweat. He bent to her eye level, steady as a heart beat.

"The bullet would go straight through his heart."

Tohru couldn't help but burst with tears. "Stop it..."

Satsuki bent over to capture her lips with his, pressing his lips hard over hers. She squirmed and tried to push him off of her. She finally freed her lips from his and shoved his face from hers while rolling off the bed and off to the other end of the room. She ran for the door which was finally unguarded but found it locked to her despair.

"Where are you going, Tohru-chan?"

She spun around, her heart racing a hundred beats per minute. Her lips felt dirty and she desperately wanted to rinse her mouth. But right now, staring at Satsuki waiting for her on the bed, nothing made her feel more disgusting.

'I love him... I love Kyo so much. What would life be like... if...' More tears pooled at her eyes which she tried to blink away. 'If he died?'

"There's no where to run, Tohru-chan. What is your decision?"

"Leave Kyo-kun out of this! He's done nothing to you! Please, just s-stop this..." She watched him continue to stare at her. Was he sane? 'Please, Kyo... please, where are you? I'm... I'm so scared...'

"He'll die. Is that what you want, darling?" She took a shaky step forward. Her knees were practically knocking together with fright. 'I don't... I don't want him to die...'

She stood before Satsuki and he grinned. He knew what she had chosen. Such a soft girl, she was.

"I'll save Kyo-kun's life... with my body..."

"That's good, Tohru-chan," he said reaching out for her.

"I'll save him because I love him. And nothing will ever change that."

His hand stopped. She closed her eyes and heard him stand up, a head taller than she. Would he just get it over with? Hadn't he done enough damage to her? She just continued to fill her thoughts with Kyo and how he would come. He would come for her.

"Look at me." Tohru's eyes fluttered open but suddenly her head was jarred to the side when he took her head forcefully in his hands. "Tell me. Look me in the eye and tell me you love him!"

"I... love him."

SLAP!

"You stupid dog!" Tohru's body fell to the floor, her face hidden away behind her curtain of brown hair. "You love him even after being with me! You're such a dirty tramp!"

She said nothing for a moment before raising herself up on her elbows. "You would have killed him... even if I slept with you, wouldn't you, Satsuki. You’re too cruel!"

"No, I have a better idea now." Suddenly there was a knock at the front door and Satsuki bolted. "Looks like our visitors finally arrived! Bwahaha!" She watched him pull his gun from his back belt.

Tohru scrambled to follow him out. "SATSUKI, NO!" He slammed the door on her face as she desperately pounded on the door. "NO! KYO-KUN, IT'S A TRAP! GET OUT OF HERE! GET OUT! GET OUT!" She listened as the door opened and three gun shots flew through the air. "KYO!"
don't worry this is not the end its 95% complete just let me think and then i will put the other chapters in! thank u for being patient.

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