Chapter 5 - Naruto

Naruto and Sasuke and Sakura and Kakashi and I think those are the only guys who show up, yeah. They're all property of Masashi Kishimoto. Wait, does that mean they're his slaves? O.o o.O (considers starting a campaign to free the characters)

Oneshot again! YES! The intention of this story returns!

And, yeah, it goes into the YAOI bits of this concept. So...SASUNARU FUN! And then, it goes into all these other pairings...:shutting up:

ZOMG a LOTR reference! (Oliphants, man, Oliphants!)



~5~

Naruto cursed under his breath. He was running late. At this rate, Kakashi would be at the training grounds before him. Kakashi would be there before all of his students had gathered. Kakashi. As in Hatake Kakashi. At the training grounds before Uzumaki Naruto, his most enthusiastic student. What is wrong with this picture?

What was wrong was that Sasuke had woken Naruto up in the middle of the night. If it hadn't been for that Uchiha knocking at his door for no particular reason at two in the morning in his pajamas with a pillow and a blanket, Naruto wouldn't have been so tired, wouldn't have slept in, wouldn't be late. More late than his teacher. His teacher Kakashi. His teacher Hatake Kakashi. Before him. Nobody would see this coming.

Why was Sasuke at Naruto's door, anyway? 'Who knows?' Naruto thought frustratedly as he sprinted for the training ground. 'Something about the air conditioning being out or something, I think...'

Yes, that was Sasuke's excuse. Whether or not it was the real reason, maybe not even Sasuke knew. But Naruto wouldn't know that. Sasuke might know, Sasuke might not know, it didn't matter. It happened, Sasuke slept at Naruto's house, in Naruto's bed, in Naruto's arms, last night, in the middle of the night, and thus Naruto could barely sleep (even though he was the one with his arms wrapped tightly around the Uchiha), and thus Naruto slept in, and thus Naruto was going to be late. After Hatake Kakashi. Hatake Kakashi. Sakura would never let him live this down. If it was at all possible, she'd make sure it got on his tombstone. "Here lies Uzumaki Naruto: idiot baka ramen otaku who showed up later to training than Hatake Kakashi." That's what Sakura would put on it.

And on Kakashi's: "Here lies Hatake Kakashi: finally, absent rather than tardy." Something like that. "Hatake Kakashi: AKA Late to Dinner," "Hatake Kakashi: pranked to death by his students who were fed up with his constantly being late. Unfortunately, Uzumaki Naruto was too late to be there and see them do it. Naruto the idiot baka ramen otaku who showed up later to training than Hatake Kakashi. The only person capable of proving that he could have been later."

And why hadn't Sasuke woken him up, anyway? Why couldn't that bloody Uchiha have nudged him awake--or stabbed a kunai in his hand--or started to make a cup of ramen--any of those things and more would have woken Naruto up, and he didn't doubt that Sasuke would have very much have wanted to do the second, but he didn't. Why? Why?

Naruto finally arrived at the training grounds, panting, and collapsed promptly. A shadow came over his face, and he looked up to see Sakura, glaring down at him and looking ready to kill. "Na...ru...to..." she hissed. "Why...are you...this...late...?"

"I-I-I swear, it wasn't me, Sakura!" Naruto protested between gasps for breath. "I-it was, Sasuke's, fault! H-he showed up, in the middle, of the night, and he, he, he slept, at my house, with me!"

This seemed to anger Sakura even more. "You slept with Sasuke?!" she exclaimed angrily.

"I-i-i-i-it w-was h-h-his, h-his idea!" Naruto blamed, shielding his face with his arms, and personally amazed that Sasuke hadn't come close to killing him yet.

"Sakura," Naruto heard his teacher scold. "Don't kill Naruto for saying something that makes sense."

"B-but, Sensei--"

"No buts," Kakashi stopped Sakura. "Seeing as Sasuke hasn't shown up yet either, his story isn't entirely unfounded, and it seems a bit...unwise, to me, to kill someone even though they're telling the truth."

Sakura almost stammered for a moment, before she sighed, pouted, and walked away from Naruto. "Fine. But if Sasuke denies Naruto's story..."

"No killing Naruto," Kakashi ordered. "He's your teammate after all. If nothing else, you won't be able to apply for Chuunin exams if you kill him."

Sakura didn't say anything more, she just pouted from a little ways away from Naruto. Naruto rolled over, so his stomach was exposed to the sun, and sighed, reasonably content. He had turned up later than his teacher, but Sakura was a bit too distracted to remember that, it seemed.

"Hey," Sakura interrupted his thoughts suddenly. "Naruto, you're...you came later than even Sensei...oh my god, Naruto...I'm never letting you live this down."

Okay, scratch that. But, still...it took her a while to realize that, which meant something, right? And, anyway, Sasuke still hadn't shown up yet--that meant that Naruto was later than his teacher, later than Kakashi, later than the Hatake Kakashi, but Sasuke was even later than Naruto! Oh, Naruto would never...ever...forget this...he would make sure that it was referenced on Sasuke's headstone when he died, if it was the last thing he did.

He sighed blissfully, because he wasn't going to be the last one there, his humiliation, no matter how extreme, would be second to Sasuke's. That made everything better, and he dozed off for the next fifteen minutes, until he heard Sakura scream.

"Sasuke!" she exclaimed, and Naruto felt her thunderous run through the ground. 'Some ninja she is,' he thought, almost bitterly. 'And they think that a ninja wearing orange is bad. She has pink hair, and that stupid dress skirt thing, and she runs like an elephant--like an Oliphant, I'd even say! It's a wonder she survived that A-ranked mission that we fluked into getting!'

"Hn," Sasuke answered Sakura. "Sorry I'm late. A certain someone forgot to wake me up."

Naruto sat bolt upright. "What? I don't remember--"

"You should be punished," Sasuke told him with a grimace on his face--it would have been a normal smile, but perhaps partially from lack of sleep but mostly from Sasuke being, well, Sasuke, his eyes remained cold, and it looked too grim, perhaps evil, to be a normal smile. "Come to my house after training. This punishment will be very...fun," he said coolly, his grin widening. "Yes...so very fun..."

"Uhhhh, Sasuke?" Naruto asked. "Y-you're kind of...s-scaring me..."

Sakura seemed to be hiding giggles.

"What?" Naruto asked. "He's talking about punishment--and it being fun, what's that supposed to mean anyway?--and you're just giggling? Sakura, what's wrong with you?"

"O-oh, nooothing," Sakura answered untruthfully, still giggling. "Ohhhh, Naruto...boy, are you in for it, if he means what I think he means...I hope you...like boys," she giggled.

Kakashi dropped his book and looked up, his one normally visible eyebrow hidden due to his raising it so high that his forehead protector got in the way. "What was that?" he asked incredulously.

Sasuke shook his head, still smiling. "Yes, I agree with Sakura...I most certainly do hope you like boys..."


~fin~

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