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Chapter 3 - Vulpes vult fraudem, lupus agnum, foemina laudem

Negima! My first real attempt at a romantic comedy. Please comment and enjoy.

Chapter 3 - Vulpes vult fraudem, lupus agnum, foemina laudem

Chapter 3 - Vulpes vult fraudem, lupus agnum, foemina laudem
Vulpes vult fraudem, lupus agnum, foemina laudem
(The fox likes tricks, the wolf lamb, a woman praise.)
(title credit to www.inrebus.com)

Class was uneventful. Kimihiro sat in the back, incredibly wary of Evangeline. But that dulled, and he thought of his fight with Takahata-sensei. He hadn’t landed one hit, and he hadn’t blocked one hit. He needed more training. Lots of training. Special training.

This wizard stuff… I wonder if I’m really magical? It would be really cool. But either way, magic or no, I’ve got to do something to help Negi-sensei. There’s something he’s not telling me. And either way, I’ve got to make a choice. I like this school. Even if I don’t make one, single, solitary friend, this is the first place I’ve ever talked to a girl about anything outside of school work. It’s a happy memory. Well, that, and I DID feel my first breast, even if it was an accident and it DID almost get me shot…

Evangeline glared at Kimihiro out of boredom. When he didn’t return her glare, she bit him on the arm to get his attention.

“Ow?! What the hell?!” Kimihiro hissed at her, keeping his voice down and holding his bleeding right arm.

“Don’t ignore me when I’m glaring at you. It pisses me off,” Evangeline informed Kimihiro, resting her head on one arm.

“Such language for a girl, Evangeline-san. You’re pretty cute. You don’t need to talk like that.”

Evangeline blushed and turned away. “Stupid boy!”

Chachamaru, her robot servant seated near her, seemed to have developed a sardonic side. “Master, could it be that this boy has flustered you by complimenting your cosmetic beauty?”

“Shut up, you stupid robot!” Evangeline murmured. Hakase programmed the stupid thing so well it’s always correct about my feelings!

--

Class ended without incident, thankfully. Kimihiro couldn’t take another incident so soon. Funny thing- he didn’t have to wait long or even be aware of what he had done or didn’t do.

“YOU!”

Kimihiro backpedaled as he found a large, sharp sword of Japanese origin at his neck.

“What the hell?! What did I do?!” Kimihiro moaned, peering around the blade to it’s owner. He didn’t know her personally; he had only seen her in class, usually near Konoka, Asuna, and Negi.
So what the hell did I do to warrant a sword at my neck?!

“You plan to defile Konoka-ojousama’s body! I won’t have it! I warn you, you WILL taste my blade is any harm befalls her!”

The girl spoke very formal Japanese, and Kimihiro could barely understand her. He only caught ‘Konoka-ojousama’ and ‘blade’ in the rapid impromptu speech. Fortunately, he had Negi right there to translate- sort of.

“Setsuna-san, what is the meaning of this?! You can’t draw that sword in the classroom! Put it away, now!” Negi ordered frantically, waving his arms and standing in front of Kimihiro. “What’s he done wrong?!”

Setsuna sheathed her sword, but didn’t look that much less menacing for it. Giving Kimihiro an even glare, she said “He will be dating Konoka-ojousama. I’m simply warning him of what will happen if he attempts anything…”

“WHAT?! DATE?!” Kimihiro almost shouted, lowering his voice at the last second. “You’ve got better sources than I do, Sakurazaki-san! I don’t know anything about a date!”

“Liar! You grabbed Tatsumiya-san’s breast your first day! You pervert!”

Konoka strode over, hearing the noise and getting worried. One explanation later, she diffused the entire situation with a couple sentences.

“Oh, Set-chan! It’s one of Grandpa’s O-miai thingies! It’s a blind date, y’know? And Grandpa hasn’t sent out my picture yet; he’s got a huge stack on his desk!”

Negi, ever the voice of reason, asked “Yes, Setsuna-san, how did you found out about this?”

“Er…please forgive my rashness. I simply saw the stack of pictures on the desk and I assumed…” Setsuna bowed in apology. Kimihiro just stood there, wondering what was going on.

“A…blind date? Huh? Wait, I’ve never been on… oh damn.” Kimihiro had covered his mouth, but too late.

“HE’S SINGLE LADIES!” Ayaka shouted, having overheard. Yes! Less competition for Negi-sensei! Thank you, Kimihiro-kun!

“Actually, Rep-san, may I ask you a question? If you have a moment, I mean…”

Ayaka turned her head slowly. Kimihiro was blushing, and looked really nervous.

Oh no! Is it ME he likes?! But I love Negi-sensei! Well, I’ll just have to let him down gently! It couldn’t hurt to hear him out first, I suppose…

“Certainly, Kimihiro-san. As Class Representative, it’s my duty to make sure new students are used to life at Mahora. Shall we adjourn to the student café?”

“Oh, that’s fine. Thank you.”

The two walked off. Ayaka was apprehensive about what Kimihiro could have in mind, and Kimihiro was nervous about talking a to a girl one-on-one. But that was the least of their problems. Two giggling, pink-haired terrors had overheard.

“Oh yeah! Rep-san and Kimihiro-san! Time to spread the word, Fumika!”

“Right, Fuka!”

The rambunctious Narutaki twins were the last ones that should have overheard this. In less than an hour, the school would be buzzing.

--

Ayaka was a tall blonde who exuded charm and professionalism. She was friendly (Except to Asuna), overbearing, and very clear about her emotions. She was the daughter of the owner of the Yukihiro conglomerate, so she didn’t lack for money. But she didn’t come across as spoiled- most of the time.

“Now then, Kimihiro-san, what can I do for you?”

Kimihiro fidgeted his legs nervously, but made his upper body stay still. He forced eye contact with Ayaka.

-

“Oh-my-God!”

Sakurako, Kakizaki, and Madoka hid in a nearby plant, struggling to overhear the conversation.

“Look at that eye contact! He’s not breaking his gaze! And neither’s Ayaka!” Kakizaki pointed out.

“And Kimihiro-san’s blushing! He’s gotta be asking her out!” Madoka added. She was the most sensible of the group.

“Man, is he serious! He’s not Negi-sensei, but for a guy our age, he’s kinda cute! But if he’s single, and in an all-girl’s school…”

The three shared two thoughts and ideas:

Maybe he used to be a girl?! Or maybe…there’s something wrong with him?!

-

“Uh, yeah, what I mean Rep-san…”

“Please, ‘Ayaka’ is fine. No need for titles right now, Kimihiro-san.” Ayaka pushed her hair aside in a dismissive gesture. She didn’t know that less formality mean more headaches for Kimihiro.

“Right. Ayaka-san. See…” Kimihiro gulped in a deep breath, let it out, then spat out his problem. “I know I’m not welcome here yet. I’d like to do something to endear myself to the class. I’m the outsider here, and I really don’t want it to be that way. I’m here for school, just like the others. So, what can I do to help the girls get used to me?”

Ayaka breathed a sigh of relief, glad that Kimihiro wasn’t asking her out. She went to move her hair again, and her hand knocked her earring out of her ear and onto the ground. It landed at Kimihiro’s feet. He bent down and picked it up. He held it out to Ayaka while kneeling on one leg.

-

The three cheerleaders had since been joined by the Narutaki twins. The five were in complete shock.

“HE PROPOSED!” Sakurako yelled.

“AND SHE ACCEPTED?!” the twins exclaimed in unison.

“But Rep-san has always had her eyes on Negi-sensei, hasn’t she?! What’s she doing with this guy?!”

“With her lolita-shonen complex, shouldn’t he be too old for her?” Madoka wondered. “Then again, maybe we’re overreacting. We did with Negi-sensei and Konoka-san that one time…”

“Hel-lo?! Ring- boy on knee- girl accepting. There’s NO WAY to mistake that!”

-

Kimihiro kicked himself for being a gentleman- from where he was, he would have had a perfect view up Ayaka’s skirt. He made sure he didn’t look as he offered her the earring from the ground.

“Oh, thank you!” Ayaka put the earring back on, making sure it was fastened tightly. She leaned forward, smiling warmly. “Well, Kimihiro-san, you’re a gentleman, that much is certain. The girls will notice that soon enough. Just keep being friendly, and you’ll do fine.”

Kimihiro nodded. “I figured so. Truthfully, I’m very girl-shy, so I was hoping it would be chivalry that could help. Thank you very much for your time, Ayaka-san.” Kimihiro habitually bowed as he spoke.

“You don’t have to bow- aiiiie!”

Ayaka tripped suddenly, and was falling forward. Kimihiro straightened up and caught her.

“Are you okay?” he asked, concerned. He had let go, but Ayaka was still holding on to him.

--

“Ho-yeah! Go Rep! She threw herself at him!” Kakizaki couldn’t wait to spread this juicy gossip around! Whipping out her trust camera phone, she snapped a picture. Putting the picture in a text message with the caption “GUESS WHAT?!?!”, it was sent to every girl in class in an instant.

-

“I’m fine. My high-heel broke. Cheap foreign goods! Now I’ve got to walk barefoot!”

Ayaka pulled her shoes off, holding onto Kimihiro’s shoulder for balance.

“You can borrow my shoes, if you’d like. I train barefoot for martial arts, so it really wouldn’t bother me. Besides, it would suck if you hurt your leg or something.”

“You spoke too soon, Kimihiro-san. I think I sprained my ankle. Ouch!”

Kimihiro didn’t want to leave Ayaka alone while he went to get the nurse, but he didn’t know anyone to ask either. So, instead, he stood up slowly.

“Here, I’ll help you get back to your room. What’s your room number?”

--

“WHOA! They move fast! He’s already going back to her dorm room?! Oh yes, this is absolutely scandalous! Wait’ll Kazumi gets a hold of this one!”

‘Kazumi’ was ‘Kazumi Asakura’, a journalist that worked for the school paper. She was known to dig up scandalous stories and pictures to go with them. Something like this was pure gold to her.

--

Kimihiro gently deposited Ayaka onto a couch inside the spacious dorm room. The other two inhabitants, Natsumi Murakami and Chizuru Naba, were both out at various club activities. Again, Kimihiro was reluctant to leave Ayaka alone.

“Would you like some tea or something? I’ve called Shizuna-sensei already, but you shouldn’t be alone until she gets here.”

“Oh, no thank you,” Ayaka responded. She was warming to Kimihiro (in a friendly way), and could clearly see that he really was a nice guy who genuinely wanted to fit in.
“So, Kimihiro-san, what brings you to Mahora academy?”

Kimihiro shrugged. “I don’t know myself. I was just told to come here, dropped on a plane, and…well, here I am.”

Ayaka didn’t really know boys- she just knew that girls gossiped, so she assumed boys did, too.
“So, Kimihiro-san, has anyone in class struck your fancy yet?”

Kimihiro choked on his own saliva. Let’s see…Sakurazaki-san is adorable, and clearly dangerous…I’ve always liked women with swords… Tatsumiya-san is dangerous, but clearly powerful and clever…not to mention sexy in an exotic way… Sasaki-san is perky and friendly (and cute), but definitely into Negi-sensei… Evangeline-san is gorgeous, but she’s a vampire…Chachamaru-san is a robot…Ayaka-san, of course, is elegant and beautiful… Asuna-San has a cute tomboy thing going on… Konoe-san is a sweetheart with looks to match… and that girl in back, Rainyday-san…she’s mysterious, and that’s pretty hot. Oh, and there’s the tall swimmer, the energetic basketball player, neither of whom I’ve meant. Oh, and Hasegawa-san. She’s mean, but if you earn her acceptance…

“Well, I don’t know anyone very well yet, and basing my opinions on only looks seems kind of shallow…”

Ayaka was impressed by that as well. She was more mature than most of the girls (Most of the time, anyway), and finding a guy who didn’t base affection only on looks…

Very rare. A trait of a well-bred and raised young man.

Giving a kind smile, Ayaka told Kimihiro to “Just stay a gentleman. Any girl worth having will appreciate that kind of attitude.”

Kimihiro heard a knocking outside the door. Thinking it was Shizuna-sensei, he strode across the room and opened it. In tumbled girl after girl, all of whom had been leaning against the door with a drinking glass.

“What the he- What’s going on here?!”

“Awww, busted! And we didn’t even hear anything good!”

Kimihiro’s face was a mask of question. “Huh? What were you expecting to hear? I mean, Class Rep-san twisted her leg and I helped her back to her room.”

“HA! A LIKELY STORLY!” Kakizaki Misa shouted, pressing her phone into Kimihiro’s face. “Explain…THESE!”

Huh? Me on one knee…

“I was handing Rep-san the earring she dropped…”

Her leaning against me…

“Her high-heel broke and I caught her…”

And it continued like that. The disappointed girls went gave up and went home. Eventually, Shizuna-sensei came and dealt with Ayaka’s hurt leg. Kimihiro excused himself and took a walk.

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