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Chapter 1 - A
Submitted: September 1, 2004 • Updated: September 1, 2004
Word count: 159 • Size: <1k • Comments: 22 • views: 380


Comments (22)

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Live_Like_You_Mean_It on January 12, 2006, 5:15:15 PM

Live_Like_You_Mean_It on (Chapter: 1)
Live_Like_You_Mean_Ito.O I couldn't read it properly.
Make the lines of your poem seperate to each other, and then I'll marvel at your work ;)

(if you don't understand, e.g.

You give me reasons to cry,
Bit you always make me smile,
You tell me I should try,)

Living_Dead_Girl on November 20, 2005, 4:45:20 AM

Living_Dead_Girl on (Chapter: 1)
Living_Dead_GirlAwwww!! I love this! It is sooo sweet! The rhymes are great. *favs*

minerva28 on August 27, 2005, 8:24:37 PM

minerva28 on (Chapter: 1)
minerva28nice poem!
Like thr ryhm

I write poems like that too!

Hmm.. but if u really wanna twist a persons imagination u shud use words that can be felt,seen,smell and etc. that way a person cud really picture ur poem out.Like love for example ur just reading it nothing really pops out of a persons brain ^^

My english teacher made us attend a 3 day seminar on how to write a poem. That was the main idea i think during the seminar ever since then i did really improve ^^ sure he commented my poems in a nasty way but it sure helped me realize my mistakes.

hoped it help!

Oh and please use stanzas ^^ please and thank u ^^

_Sai_ on August 25, 2005, 9:56:02 PM

_Sai_ on (Chapter: 1)

Wow that's just perfect!

soalone1000 on August 19, 2005, 6:30:14 AM

soalone1000 on (Chapter: 1)
soalone1000good good good good good good good good good!!!!!!!!!!i love it!!!!!especially about the stars. it's sooo cute!

Genjo_Shyazo on July 30, 2005, 5:30:14 PM

Genjo_Shyazo on (Chapter: 1)
Genjo_ShyazoThat's a really good poem^^ *favs*

LizzardQueeng on July 7, 2005, 11:33:43 PM

LizzardQueeng on (Chapter: 1)
LizzardQueeng*sniffle* ;_; How beatiful! T_T I luff this, just one constructive critisism;
add comas between "thoughts" Example;
"You give me reasons to cry, But you always make me smile," That way it's easier to read^^

*faves* you're so good^^ nice and Melancholic...

aquajogger on June 30, 2005, 1:28:51 PM

aquajogger on (Chapter: 1)
aquajoggerVery cute. ^_^

I'm not flaming you, but there are a couple lines where the rythym gets a bit thrown off. Umm... "That you'll be better than me", "But all I can do is sleep", and "I hope you're glad".

It's really nothing big, and I know that not all of the lines are the same length, I just thought I'd point those out.

I like it, though. It's sweet, in a sad way. Very nice work! d^_^b

Hyper_Freak on May 17, 2005, 6:11:31 AM

Hyper_Freak on (Chapter: 1)
Hyper_FreakTHAT POEM F**KING SUCKED! No, kidding. That was a truly inspiring poem, and if you really beleive your writing is only "Not Bad", then I want some of what you've been smoking.