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Chapter 1 - A


Chapter 1 - A

Chapter 1 - A
You give me reasons to cry
Bit you always make me smile
You tell me I should try
My best once in a while
You give me so much pain
But I'll always be in love
From the core of this very earth
To the stars way up above
You tell me that you're not
As perfect as can be
And yet I'll always know
That you'll be better than me
You tell me life's a garden
And that I should dig down deep
And I always listen
But all I can do is sleep
I wish I could live up
To the life you've always had
I have no tlents I can't do math
But my writing's not that bad
I feel so good
But I'm always sad
But what matters is I love you
I hope you're glad
This is the feeling
That I've always had


Comments (9)

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mangacheese1818 on November 4, 2005, 8:52:25 PM

mangacheese1818 on
mangacheese1818One word: Line breaks.
It is practicly just a bunch of mooshed text. Gah.

LizzardQueeng on July 7, 2005, 11:29:18 PM

LizzardQueeng on
LizzardQueeng*sniffle* ;_; How beatiful! T_T I luff this, just one constructive critisism;
add comas between "thoughts" Example;
"You give me reasons to cry, But you always make me smile," That way it's easier to read^^

*faves* you're so good^^

RythemFox on June 21, 2005, 11:10:45 AM

RythemFox on
RythemFoxit is really good in the beggining. he end was a little weak. you fell out of meter, and strayed a little in the word choice so it didnt seem to project the same kind of image. I the beggining it was great.

strawberry_kissez on March 6, 2005, 8:24:56 AM

strawberry_kissez on
strawberry_kissezwow this is good! *adds to favs* good job!!

pink-panther on November 16, 2004, 2:57:21 PM

pink-panther on
pink-pantheri like it. *faves* i just think that the math part is a little out of line & too many words rhyme w/ had. but thats just 1 person's opinion out of 6 billion. well, i like it. Luv- pinkay

Enjeru on November 12, 2004, 2:42:18 PM

Enjeru on
EnjeruWHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!! *Cries eyes out then puts them back in* Thats so beautiful!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *Gives Blizz a Muffin & resumes crying* WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.....!

rageagainsteveryone on September 13, 2004, 12:10:22 PM

rageagainsteveryone on
rageagainsteveryoneHow cool take this watermelon cube 4 luck.

Yin-Yang15 on September 6, 2004, 7:49:08 AM

Yin-Yang15 on
Yin-Yang15That is so cool*sniffle* I'm ok
Hey, did y'all know this is based on two characters we have in another comic?

sheyla on September 1, 2004, 9:23:17 PM

sheyla on
sheylaThat´s great, you are a genius!Add to favs!