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Chapter 1 - A
Submitted: September 1, 2004 • Updated: September 1, 2004
Word count: 159 • Size: <1k • Comments: 9 • views: 221


Comments (9)

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mangacheese1818 on November 4, 2005, 8:52:25 PM

mangacheese1818 on (Chapter: 1)
mangacheese1818One word: Line breaks.
It is practicly just a bunch of mooshed text. Gah.

LizzardQueeng on July 7, 2005, 11:29:18 PM

LizzardQueeng on (Chapter: 1)
LizzardQueeng*sniffle* ;_; How beatiful! T_T I luff this, just one constructive critisism;
add comas between "thoughts" Example;
"You give me reasons to cry, But you always make me smile," That way it's easier to read^^

*faves* you're so good^^

RythemFox on June 21, 2005, 11:10:45 AM

RythemFox on (Chapter: 1)
RythemFoxit is really good in the beggining. he end was a little weak. you fell out of meter, and strayed a little in the word choice so it didnt seem to project the same kind of image. I the beggining it was great.

strawberry_kissez on March 6, 2005, 8:24:56 AM

strawberry_kissez on (Chapter: 1)
strawberry_kissezwow this is good! *adds to favs* good job!!

pink-panther on November 16, 2004, 2:57:21 PM

pink-panther on (Chapter: 1)
pink-pantheri like it. *faves* i just think that the math part is a little out of line & too many words rhyme w/ had. but thats just 1 person's opinion out of 6 billion. well, i like it. Luv- pinkay

Enjeru on November 12, 2004, 2:42:18 PM

Enjeru on (Chapter: 1)
EnjeruWHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!! *Cries eyes out then puts them back in* Thats so beautiful!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *Gives Blizz a Muffin & resumes crying* WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.....!

rageagainsteveryone on September 13, 2004, 12:10:22 PM

rageagainsteveryone on (Chapter: 1)
rageagainsteveryoneHow cool take this watermelon cube 4 luck.

Yin-Yang15 on September 6, 2004, 7:49:08 AM

Yin-Yang15 on (Chapter: 1)
Yin-Yang15That is so cool*sniffle* I'm ok
Hey, did y'all know this is based on two characters we have in another comic?

sheyla on September 1, 2004, 9:23:17 PM

sheyla on (Chapter: 1)
sheylaThat´s great, you are a genius!Add to favs!