Chapter 1 - The Royal Ceremony
Submitted December 28, 2012 Updated January 3, 2015 Status Complete | A parody of Sleeping Beauty, where the grumpy king fears for his life over a prophecy set by an evil fairy named Magnificent.
Category:
Fantasy » Characters » Witches, wizards |
Chapter 1 - The Royal Ceremony
Chapter 1 - The Royal Ceremony
In the mascot's castle, we find her in a guest bedroom, tucking her niece, Hazel, to sleep.
HAZEL: Auntie, will you tell me a bedtime story?
GSW: Which one?
HAZEL: The one about the grumpy king.
GSW: Oh, that one! This tale goes back to the year 1982. I'll get the book.
She grabs the book & when she reads, she starts to yawn.
GSW: I better turn to modern technology. Ippedity, pippedity, pow!
(Jet Screamer theme heard as book changes into a DVD)
She inserts the DVD into the DVD player. The television shows the opening credits to the movie, "The King & The Fairies".
GSW: What a dumb title.
HAZEL: Shhh, quiet!
The narrator speaks...
NARRATOR: In the flatlands of a kingdom named Houston, there lived a royal family. King Larry, Queen Prissy & Prince Scott (only 6 years old) to name names. Queen Prissy liked her soap operas that it squeezed King Larry's game shows off daytime in the late 70's. That made the King very grumpy. But our story begins near the end of 1982.
King Larry's playing CandyLand with his son.
PRINCE SCOTT: Looks like Daddy got stuck in the swamp again.
KING LARRY: Curse that sticky swamp.
Just then, the King's friend, the Duke of Anthony (bowling joke) enters.
DUKE OF ANTHONY: Your majesty, your majesty! I bring tiding news for you!
KING LARRY: Mother in law passed away?
DUKE OF ANTHONY: Unfortunately, no. NBC's returning game shows to daytime, Wheel of Fortune won't be lonely anymore.
KING LARRY: Hooray! We will have a celebration that will top Thanksgiving & Christmas combined. I proclaim that on December 10th, we will have a festival right here in the castle!
DUKE OF ANTHONY: Why December 10?
PRINCE SCOTT: Between Thanksgiving & Christmas.
KING LARRY: Right in the middle! Good going, son.
When the Queen heard about this festival...
QUEEN PRISSY: Oh brother.
So December 10 arrives. Peasants & royalty are at the castle, celebrating the return of NBC games. by feasting & pure merriment. Just then, sparkles of red, blue & green ascend from the castle.
DUKE OF ANTHONY: Announcing the most trusted good fairies from Montrose.
VOICE: We're not gay & we're from Studewood.
DUKE OF ANTHONY: I stand corrected. Mistress Florida, Mistress Sauna & Master Barryfeather of Studewood!
The three fairies appeared & approached the royal family. Florida's in a red outfit, Sauna in green & Barryfeather in blue.
FLORIDA: Your majesties, we would like to bless each show with gift.
SAUNA: No more, no less.
BARRYFEATHER: I'll start.
FLORIDA: No, ladies first.
BARRYFEATHER: Ooh, just because you have a son whose dynomite!
Florida waves her magic wand.
FLORIDA: For Sale of The Century, my gift is the gift of good bargain sense.
Then it's Sauna's turn...
SAUNA: For Hit Man, my gift is the gift of memory.
Sauna waves her magic wand. Then it's finally his turn.
BARRYFEATHER: For Classic Concentra.....
At that point, the DVD picture is scrambled. The Witch takes out the DVD.
MASCOT: Curses, just when they are about to get to my favorite part.
HAZEL: Maybe it's trying to say...TO BE CONTINUED.
HAZEL: Auntie, will you tell me a bedtime story?
GSW: Which one?
HAZEL: The one about the grumpy king.
GSW: Oh, that one! This tale goes back to the year 1982. I'll get the book.
She grabs the book & when she reads, she starts to yawn.
GSW: I better turn to modern technology. Ippedity, pippedity, pow!
(Jet Screamer theme heard as book changes into a DVD)
She inserts the DVD into the DVD player. The television shows the opening credits to the movie, "The King & The Fairies".
GSW: What a dumb title.
HAZEL: Shhh, quiet!
The narrator speaks...
NARRATOR: In the flatlands of a kingdom named Houston, there lived a royal family. King Larry, Queen Prissy & Prince Scott (only 6 years old) to name names. Queen Prissy liked her soap operas that it squeezed King Larry's game shows off daytime in the late 70's. That made the King very grumpy. But our story begins near the end of 1982.
King Larry's playing CandyLand with his son.
PRINCE SCOTT: Looks like Daddy got stuck in the swamp again.
KING LARRY: Curse that sticky swamp.
Just then, the King's friend, the Duke of Anthony (bowling joke) enters.
DUKE OF ANTHONY: Your majesty, your majesty! I bring tiding news for you!
KING LARRY: Mother in law passed away?
DUKE OF ANTHONY: Unfortunately, no. NBC's returning game shows to daytime, Wheel of Fortune won't be lonely anymore.
KING LARRY: Hooray! We will have a celebration that will top Thanksgiving & Christmas combined. I proclaim that on December 10th, we will have a festival right here in the castle!
DUKE OF ANTHONY: Why December 10?
PRINCE SCOTT: Between Thanksgiving & Christmas.
KING LARRY: Right in the middle! Good going, son.
When the Queen heard about this festival...
QUEEN PRISSY: Oh brother.
So December 10 arrives. Peasants & royalty are at the castle, celebrating the return of NBC games. by feasting & pure merriment. Just then, sparkles of red, blue & green ascend from the castle.
DUKE OF ANTHONY: Announcing the most trusted good fairies from Montrose.
VOICE: We're not gay & we're from Studewood.
DUKE OF ANTHONY: I stand corrected. Mistress Florida, Mistress Sauna & Master Barryfeather of Studewood!
The three fairies appeared & approached the royal family. Florida's in a red outfit, Sauna in green & Barryfeather in blue.
FLORIDA: Your majesties, we would like to bless each show with gift.
SAUNA: No more, no less.
BARRYFEATHER: I'll start.
FLORIDA: No, ladies first.
BARRYFEATHER: Ooh, just because you have a son whose dynomite!
Florida waves her magic wand.
FLORIDA: For Sale of The Century, my gift is the gift of good bargain sense.
Then it's Sauna's turn...
SAUNA: For Hit Man, my gift is the gift of memory.
Sauna waves her magic wand. Then it's finally his turn.
BARRYFEATHER: For Classic Concentra.....
At that point, the DVD picture is scrambled. The Witch takes out the DVD.
MASCOT: Curses, just when they are about to get to my favorite part.
HAZEL: Maybe it's trying to say...TO BE CONTINUED.
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