Chapter 2 - 2-More Black Jokes

The title explains it all but just for little dumbfracks to know... don't put any gay comments like "oh thats so racist and u shouldn't call them niggers!" well i know that already and i will call them niggers in the jokes because some times black guy just makes the joke sound stupid. ok now onto the jokes. also i may repeat some jokes i already put so don't get mad at me.


what do you call a nigger in church?
holy shoot.

what's big and pink and hanging in my back yard?
My nigger, and i'll paint him any color i want

What's the most fun thing to do in the whole world?
kick niggers

Whats the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead nigger in the road?
The dog has skid marks leading up to it.

Why do niggers smell so bad?
So blind people can hate them to

What do you call a nigger in a two-story house?
Adopted.

How do you save a nigger from drowning?
Lift your shoe off the back of his head

How do you smile and wink at a nigger at the same time?
*points a shotgun*

What do you call a nigger on skis?
Top Water Jig

Ever heard of the racist sprinkler? It goes...
spic spic spic spic chink nigganigga nigganigga nigganigganigganigga

Why are black people's eyes red after sex?
Pepper spray.

A black boy and a white boy are sitting in a yard. The black boy says "My daddy jsut got a new truck. Its engine goes 'crackacrackacrackacracka". The white boy says, "My daddy just got a new chainsaw. Its engine goes "run nigga nigga run nigga nigga run nigga nigga..."

whats red, blue, orange, purple, and green?
a nigger going to church

A nigger walks into a bar with a duck on his shoulder. The bartender says, "Hey cool where did you get that"? The duck says,"Africa they're all over the fracking place".

Two preists are arguing wether God is black or White. Finally the one says he will just ask God himself. When he comes back he says with a shrug, "I dont know, he just said I am what I am". The other priest says, well that proves it! God is white! Well because, if God was a nigger he would of said "I is what I is".

Two niggers are walking down a street and see a sign that says, "turn white for $15". The two coons turn their pockets and find out one has a $20 and then one has a $10 bill. Since neither one has fifteen they can figure out how they both can turn white. Then the other one says when you come back you can give me the five dollars and then I can turn white too. The nigger says Bet, dog then walks inside. Ten minutes later he comes out blonde haired, blue eyed, and even had a suit on and a tie. The first nigger says, "Man holy shoot, I cant believe it you are really white"! Hurry up and give me the $5 so I can do it too! "frack you nigger, get a job!"

A little niglet put some flour on his face and when his mother came home he said "Look momma I is a White boy!" She slapped him and sent him to his room. When his dad came home he came down running and said, "Look daddy, I is a White boy!" His father slapped him and sent him to his room. Finally the boys grandmother came home and he thought she wouldn't be so mean, so he ran out and said "Hey look I is a white boy". When the grandmother slapped his face he yelled, "I has only been White for 15 minutes and I allready hate you damn niggers".

A nigger boy comes home from his first grade class and said "Momma all the white kids made an A+ on the math test, but I failed, why is that"? His mother said it's because you're black my son. Then the boy said, "and all the White kids god an A+ on the spelling test, but I failed too. How come"? Because you are black my son. "But then we took a shower after gym class and I notice my dick is bigger then all the White boys dicks. Why is that"? Well son, that is because you're fifteen years old.

why are black people so fast? All the slow ones are in jail

What do you do when you see your tv floating?
turn on the light and shoot the nigger.

How do you keep a nigger from stealing watermelons from your patch?
Plant cotton around the watermelons.

Why does a nigger keep shoot in his wallet?
identification.

Congratulations on your purchase of a brand new nigger! If handled properly,
your nigger
will give years of valuable, if reluctant, service.

INSTALLING YOUR NIGGER. You should install your nigger differently according to
whether
you have purchased the field or house model. Field niggers work best in a serial
configuration, i.e. chained together. Chain your nigger to another nigger
immediately
on unpacking it, and don't even think about taking that chain off, ever. Many
niggers
start singing as soon as you put a chain on them. This habit can usually be
thrashed
out of them if nipped in the bud. House niggers work best as standalone units,
but
should be hobbled or hamstrung to prevent attempts at escape.

At this stage, your nigger can also be given a name. Most owners use the same
names
over and over, since niggers become confused by too much data. Rufus, Rastus,
Remus,
Toby, Carslisle, Carlton, Hey-You!-Yes-you!, Yeller, Blackstar, and Sambo are
all
effective names for your new buck nigger. If your nigger is a ho, it should be
called
Latrelle, L'Tanya, or Jemima. Some owners call their nigger hoes Latrine for a
joke.
Pearl, Blossom, and Ivory are also righteous names for nigger hoes. These names
go
straight over your nigger's head, by the way.

CONFIGURING YOUR NIGGER. Owing to a design error, your nigger comes equipped
with a
tongue and vocal chords. Most niggers can master only a few basic human phrases
with
this apparatus - "muh dick" being the most popular. However, others make
barking,
yelping, yapping noises and appear to be in some pain, so you should probably
call
a vet and have him remove your nigger's tongue. Once de-tongued your nigger will
be
a lot happier - at least, you won't hear it complaining anywhere near as much.
Niggers
have nothing interesting to say anyway.

Many owners also castrate their niggers for health reasons (yours, mine, and
that of
white women, not the nigger's). This is strongly recommended, and frankly it's a
mystery why this is not done on the boat.

HOUSING YOUR NIGGER. Your nigger can be accommodated in cages with stout iron
bars.
Make sure, however, that the bars are wide enough to push pieces of nigger food
through. The rule of thumb is, four niggers per square yard of cage. So a
fifteen
foot by thirty foot nigger cage can accommodate two hundred niggers.

You can site a nigger cage anywhere, even on soft ground. Don't worry about your
nigger fashioning makeshift shovels out of odd pieces of wood and digging an
escape tunnel under the bars of the cage. Niggers never invented the shovel
before
and they're not about to now. In any case, your nigger is certainly too lazy to
attempt escape. As long as the free food holds out, your nigger is living better
than it did in Africa, so it will stay put.

Buck niggers and hoe niggers can be safely accommodated in the same cage, as
bucks
never attempt sex with black hoes.

FEEDING YOUR NIGGER. Your Nigger likes fried chicken, corn bread, and
waddymelon.
You should therefore give it none of these things because its lazy @$$ almost
certainly doesn't deserve it. Instead, feed it on porridge with salt, and creek
water. Your nigger will supplement its diet with whatever it finds in the
fields,
other niggers, etc.

Experienced nigger owners sometimes push waddymelon slices through the bars of
the
nigger cage at the end of the day as a treat, but only if all niggers have
worked
well and nothing has been stolen that day. Mike of the Old Ranch Plantation
reports
that this last one is a killer, since all niggers steal something almost every
single day of their lives. He reports he doesn't have to spend much on free
waddymelon for his niggers as a result.

You should *never* allow your nigger meal breaks while at work, since if it
stops
work for more than ten minutes it will need to be retrained. You would be
surprised
how long it takes to teach a nigger to pick cotton. You really would. Coffee
beans?
Don't ask. You have no idea.

MAKING YOUR NIGGER WORK. Niggers are very, very averse to work of any kind. The
nigger's most prominent anatomical feature is, after all, its oversized
buttocks,
which have evolved to make it more comfortable for your nigger to sit around all
day
doing nothing for its entire life. Niggers are often good runners, too, to
enable
them to sprint quickly in the opposite direction if they see work heading their
way.

The solution to this is to *dupe* your nigger into working. After installation,
encourage it towards the cotton field with blows of a wooden club, fence post,
baseball bat, etc., and then tell it that all that cotton belongs to a white
man,
who won't be back until tomorrow. Your nigger will then frantically compete with
the other field niggers to steal as much of that cotton as it can before the
white
man returns. At the end of the day, return your nigger to its cage and laugh at
its stupidity, then repeat the same trick every day indefinitely. Your nigger
comes equipped with the standard nigger IQ of 75 and a memory to match, so it
will forget this trick overnight.

Niggers can start work at around 5am. You should then return to bed and come
back
at around 10am. Your niggers can then work through until around 10pm or whenever
the light fades.

ENTERTAINING YOUR NIGGER. Your nigger enjoys play, like most animals, so you
should
play with it regularly. A happy smiling nigger works best. Games niggers enjoy
include:

1) A good thrashing: every few days, take your nigger's pants down, hang it up
by its
heels, and have some of your other niggers thrash it with a club or whip. Your
nigger
will signal its intense enjoyment by shrieking and sobbing.

2) Lynch the nigger: niggers are cheap and there are millions more where yours
came
from. So every now and then, push the boat out a bit and lynch a nigger.
Lynchings
are best done with a rope over the branch of a tree, and niggers just love to be
lynched. It makes them feel special. Make your other niggers watch. They'll be
so
grateful, they'll work harder for a day or two (and then you can lynch another
one).

3) Nigger dragging: Tie your nigger by one wrist to the tow bar on the back of
suitable vehicle, then drive away at approximately 50mph. Your nigger's shrieks
of enjoyment will be heard for miles. It will shriek until it falls apart. To
prolong the fun for the nigger, do *NOT* drag him by his feet, as his head comes
off too soon. This is painless for the nigger, but spoils the fun. Always wear a
seatbelt and never exceed the speed limit.

4) Playing on the PNL: a variation on (2), except you can lynch your nigger out
in
the fields, thus saving work time. Niggers enjoy this game best if the PNL is
operated
by a man in a tall white hood.

5) Hunt the nigger: a variation of Hunt the Slipper, but played outdoors, with
Dobermans. WARNING: do not let your Dobermans bite a nigger, as they are highly
toxic.

DISPOSAL OF DEAD NIGGERS. Niggers die on average at around 40, which some might
say
is 40 years too late, but there you go. Most people prefer their niggers dead,
in
fact. When yours dies, report the license number of the car that did the
drive-by
shooting of your nigger. The police will collect the nigger and dispose of it
for you.
COMMON PROBLEMS WITH NIGGERS


MY NIGGER IS VERY AGGRESSIVE.
Have it put down, for god's sake. Who needs an uppity nigger? What are we, short
of
niggers or something?

MY NIGGER KEEPS RAPING WHITE WOMEN, BUT NEVER BLACK HOES.
They all do this. Shorten your nigger's chain so it can't reach any white women,
and
arm heavily any white women who might go near it.

WILL MY NIGGER ATTACK ME?
Not unless it outnumbers you 20 to 1, and even then, it's not likely. If niggers
successfully overthrew their owners they'd have to sort out their own food. This
is probably why nigger uprisings were nonexistent (until some fool gave them
rights).

MY NIGGER KEEPS BLEATING ABOUT ITS "RIGHTS" AND "RASSISM".
Yeah, well, it would. Tell it to shut the frack up.

MY NIGGER'S HIDE IS A FUNNY COLOR. WHAT IS THE CORRECT SHADE FOR A NIGGER?
A nigger's skin is actually more or less transparent. That brown color you can
see
is the shoot your nigger is full of. This is why some models of nigger are sold
as
"The shootskin".

MY NIGGER ACTS EXACTLY LIKE A NIGGER, BUT IS WHITE.
What you have there is a "wigger". Rough crowd.

WOW! IS THAT LIKE AN ALBINO? ARE THEY RARE OR VALUABLE?
They're as common as dog shoot and about as valuable. In fact, one of them was
President between 2000 and 2004. Put your wigger in a cage with a few hundred
genuine
niggers and you'll soon find it stops acting like a nigger. However, leave it in
the
cage and let the niggers dispose of it. The best thing for any wigger is a dose
of TNB.

MY NIGGER SMELLS REALLY BAD.
And you were expecting what?

MY NIGGER DISPLAYS A MASSIVE SENSE OF ENTITLEMENT.
This is normal.

SHOULD I ALLOW MY NIGGER TO FORNICATE WITH OTHER NIGGERS?
Where are we, Wonderland? You'll have a lot of trouble getting it to fornicate
with
*other* niggers.

SHOULD I STORE MY DEAD NIGGER?
When you came in here, did you see a sign that said "Dead nigger storage"?
That's
because there ain't no goddamn sign.

A trucker carring a load of bowling balls picked up two nigger hitchhikers who were pushing bikes with flat tires. He tells them they have to ride in the back with the bowling balls, and thats fine with them. A few miles down the road a cop pulls the truck over for speeding and checks the back of the truck. He tells the trucker to get down the road as fast as he can. Then he gets on his radio and tells the police cheif to escort him out of the state, quick! The guy says, why what the hell is wrong? Whats wrong, i'll tell you whats wrong... That truck is carrying a load of nigger eggs, and two of them have allready hatched and stole some bikes.

So, whats the difference between niggers and snow tires?
Snow tires dont sing when put in chains

what does a black father give to his son on his birthday?
your bike

what do you call 2 niggers on a bike?
organized crime

How does a nigger pick his nose?
From a mail-order catalogue.

What is the title of the nigger's favorite how-to-book?
"How to Steal, Rape and Murder".

When a nigger throws a party, what do his guests drive?
Their homes - they live in their cars.

Why did the nigger rush to the discount store?
The ad said: "Whites for salef!"

Why is Mr. Potato Head jealous of niggers?
Niggers have a bigger nose.

What time is bed time at the nigger's house?
When the cheap booze runs out.

What do niggers and a jockeys both ride?
Animals.

What is the worst stain on a nigger's underwear?
Watermelon.

Why does the nigger disappear for a couple hours after one of his friends leaves?
He has to count his plastic silverware.

What did the sunbather shout at the nigger?
Ain't you dark enough already?

What is a nigger's ideal of a perfect 10?
Any White woman he can get.

Why did the nigger want his own kid?
So he won't have to pick his own watermelons.

What repulsive thing can be found in a nigger's clothes?
The nigger.

What's black, stinky and ugly?
Any nigger you have the misfortune to stumble on.

Why did Coke fire the nigger?
He kept trying to SNIFF it instead of DRINK it.

Why are niggers' pants so big?
So they can conceal more weapons.

What caused the nigger's problem?
Mother nature.

Why do niggers relate so well to monkeys?
Blood is thicker than water..

What did the nigger exclaim when he say he returned from the health spa?
I need something illegal to smoke and alcoholic to drink.

Where does Michael Jackson look for dates?
Dark alleys..

Why does that nigger have a tough guy reputation?
He's often confused for a gorilla.

what do you call a black guy in a rain coat on the road
a speed bump

Why do niggers hate aspirin?
Because they're white, they work, and you have to pick cotton to get to them.

why do niggers have white hands?
because there is a little bit of good in all of us.

What's a niggers idea of foreplay?
"Don't scream or I'll cut you, dog."

how far do you let a nigger walk?
it depends how long the wip is

you see if its white its alright, if its black send it back.

just one friendly reminder to all who see this... DON"T BE A dog BOUT FUNNY JOKES! also don't say stupid things like last time... i am still annoyed at those dumb douchebags.

You are not authorized to comment here. Your must be registered and logged in to comment