Chapter 23 - Chapter 23

“I hate you all.”



The three of them stood there staring at me, but I still needed to vent my anger, rid myself of my pain and misery.



“I hate you all, get out and leave me alone.”



The three males looked at each other nervously, before turning their backs on me, and leaving the room. I turned my head to look out of the window once more, as the tears fell. They seemed never to stop.



***



Honda, Marc and Jonothan stood outside of Ana's rooms, talking quietly amongst themselves, although Marc and Jonothan appeared to be doing most of the talking. Honda was being exceptionally quiet, thinking things over to himself. Eventually, he spoke, “I'm going to go back to Domino City.”



The two older men just looked at him, so he decided to explain, “I think it'll be better. Ana was right. It's all my fault; it'll be better if I'm not here. Could I get a lift to the station? I'll just wait at the airports until I can get a flight.”



Jonothan and Marc could say nothing to persuade him otherwise, try as they might. Honda really did believe that he was right on this one, and nothing in the world was going to change it for him. He was gone by nightfall.



***



I couldn't believe he had left me, turned his back on me. He had done what I had asked, and it was truly all my fault. If I had never lied in the first place. Guilt-ridden, I did not enjoy the remainder of my stay in France, and counted the days until I could return to Japan. My father arranged appointments for me with top physicians, who could see nothing that could possibly ever make me walk again. I went to see physiotherapists, but the ones in France were mostly useless, sop my father spent many hours on long-distance telephone calls to Japan, arranging physicians and physiotherapists for me there.



My father tried to make me stay in France, saying that I was only a child, and should stay with him. I refused. I would've, if she wasn't there, and the little brat, who seemed to hate me upon sight.



Marc and I flew back to Japan, and soon we were back in our own house, which I was glad to see. Unfortunately, we had to then move most of the furniture in the house, to make it more `wheelchair-friendly'. My room was moved to one of the downstairs rooms, and vice versa. We had to have safety rails put in in the downstairs bathroom, and such the like, just for me.



And then, I went back to school.



The new year was different, and though I was still in the same form, I was with different people for classes. And then there was the fact that Kaede wasn't even there anymore, so everything was quite a bit quieter.



As I wheeled myself into the classroom that morning, everything went quiet. No one had come to see me since I got back, and they all seemed shocked to see me, even more so as I was in a wheelchair. I had presumed that Honda might have told them, since he came back. Turned out he hadn't.



The morning was boring, with all the usual administrative things that were handled on the first day of term. We were all given our timetables, and the whole friendship group had biology together, as it had been with physics the first year. We had it that afternoon, and all of them made their way up the stairs, whilst I took the lift. I was so glad that the school had disabled facilities, although I hated to think of myself as disabled.



We all entered the classroom, and the teacher told us to take our places, asking us to sit in a boy-girl seating plan, as usual. She told us where to sit, and I was so glad that I wasn't next to Honda, which I could've been. Everyone else took their seats on their stool, whilst I wheeled round to my seat, in between Duke and Joey. Unfortunately whilst in my chair, I couldn't see over the desk, well, I could, but just. I looked up to Joey, and asked him very politely if he would lift me onto the stool, as I myself couldn't get up.



He looked at me, and burst out laughing, “You must be joking!” he said in between, gasping for breath.



Tears immediately came to my eyes, and were pouring down my face before I could stop them. I couldn't stop them, and they flowed, although I emitted no sound.



And then, without a word, Duke got out of his chair, and came to help me. Putting his arms gently under mine, he lifted me, with what appeared to be very little effort, and placed me gently on the chair. Sitting down on his own stool again, he looked at me and spoke, “Ignore him. And you're so light, for someone so tall!”



I tried to smile, albeit that it was very watery, and gradually the tears dried up. I listened little to what the teacher spoke of, and was glad as the day drew to an end, and I knew that I could go outside, and hide from everyone, and get into the car, as Marc would whisk me off home.



***



Ana disappeared, and her friends watched her go, except Honda, who was sitting in the corner, leaning his head on the desk. He had been like this ever since he had come back, and even Joey couldn't get through to him. Well, Joey hadn't actually tried, but they doubted that he would be able to. Once they had watched Ana leave, the others went to talk to him, and find out more about what had happened, and why he had actually come back early. They questioned him, and gradually he opened up, telling them everything.



“We hadn't even been there a day, and it was after supper. Ana's stepmother had gone to bed, and Marc had as well. And then Ana went to make herself a drink, and I was left alone with her father. He didn't seem that bad, until he began to interrogate me, ands cross-examine me,”



“Well, he is a lawyer,” chipped in Sakura, until she noticed everyone glaring at her, “oops, sorry.”



“Well, anyway, he asked me what I was doing with his daughter, and so I told him, basically, and then he told me something that really shocked me. He told me that she had been lying. She had been lying to me, to all of us, about her age. She's a year younger than we thought.”



“You mean she's only 15?” Yuula asked.



“Yes.”



“You mean, she was only 14?” Joey spoke.



“Yes.”



“Man, that's wrong.”



“I know, I was as shocked as you guys when I found out. But I was more hurt than anything. Hurt that she hadn't told me. I slept in a separate room that night, as I did for the rest of the holiday, and was still pretty angry the following morning.



“Ana wasn't around the house, and the cook told me she'd gone to the stables, to ride. So I went as well, and followed the lanes to the stable yard. It was huge, and really, really, posh. And deserted. I found her in the school, riding, and she was cantering around, letting the horse ride on a free rein. I shouted to her, asking why she didn't tell me, but she didn't hear, so she turned right around in the saddle. I shouted again, and then she fell. It seemed to be in slow motion, as I watched her tip from the saddle, my heart in my mouth. She laughed, and I thought she was ok, but then I heard this sickening crunch, and I ran towards her, shouting for help as I did so.



“She was out cold, and I went with her in the ambulance to the hospital. They said she'd broken her back, and they had to operate immediately, to check for other damage, and make sure she was ok internally. They did this, and kept her in hospital for just over a week. And then the doctors told me, and Marc and her father that she was paralysed, for life. But Jonothan, her father, said not to tell her yet. So we didn't.



“And then, ages later, she had a phone call, and she seemed really happy, because when it was over she called us all to her room, and told us the good news. She told us,” Honda's voice started to break up, as he choked up, “She told us that she had just been offered a place on the Japanese Olympic Team, for riding.



“Jonothan told her, and she got very upset, and sat there, crying that she hated us. And she blamed me. She was right to, it was all my fault. Everything was my fault. Her whole life is ruined, because of me.”



“Can they not fix it?” Ryou asked.



“No, Jonothan has tried everywhere, I think. She's going to be having physiotherapy, and…well…” he couldn't stop them anymore, and the tears streamed down Honda's face. He forgot about putting on the brave face, maintaining the cold front. He truly did love her, and would do anything for her.



Sakura summed up the situation, and took control of it, asking Yumiko, Ana's oldest friend, for help. Together, the two of them plotted, and somehow managed to come up with a simple plan, well, very simple. To get Honda to tell Ana how he feels.



Grabbing Honda, and ignoring his protestations, they dragged him halfway across the town, quite literally, to Ana's house. Knocking on the door, they stood waiting on the doorstep, holding a shaking and tear-stained Honda firmly in their grasp.



***



I was sitting in my new room, and listening to a compilation of songs I had made, that were mainly depressing ones. I was listening to a song by The Rasmus, “Funeral Song” when the doorbell rang, though I ignored it, and waited for Marc to answer. He eventually did, and I was really shocked when my bedroom door opened, and Sakura and Yumiko entered, followed by Honda, whom they appeared to be dragging.



His face was tear-stained, and he looked shattered, as though he had had very little sleep recently. Sakura and Yumiko greeted me, before running out the room, and slamming the door behind them, and shouting through it that neither of us were allowed out, until we had talked. A lot.



I sat in silence, my head hanging low, as I listened to the music, Christina Aguilera, Voice Within. Honda sat down on a chair, and looked at me. Finally, we spoke, in unison, “I'm so sorry,” I burst into tears, and he was on the verge of it. We both tried to speak again, until he let me go first.



“I'm sorry. I really am. I shouldn't have got so mad. And I don't hate you, I love you. And it wasn't your fault, it was mine. I shouldn't have lied to you. I love you, and I just forgot. But, this past month has been another of the worst of my life, and without you it was even worse. I am so sorry.”



“I am too. I love you as well. And it was my fault, partly. You wouldn't have fallen if it hadn't been for me.”



“I could've of hurt myself some other way.”



“Yes, but not so badly. I'm sorry, and I love you.”



He stood up, and came and knelt beside my chair, throwing his arms around me. I clasped him close to me, and cried all the more harder, as he too began to cry.



And then the song changed, to Hero, by Enrique Iglesias,



“Would you dance, if I asked you to dance, would you run and never look back, would you cry, if you saw me crying, and would you save my soul tonight?”



The words were perfect, and as Honda's tears dried, mine flowed more, empowered by the theme of the song.



Would you tremble
if I touched your lips?
Would you laugh?
Oh please tell me this.
Now would you die
for the one you loved?
Hold me in your arms, tonight.

I can be your hero, baby.
I can kiss away the pain.
I will stand by you forever.
You can take my breath away.

Would you swear
that you'll always be mine?
Or would you lie?
would you run and hide?
Am I in too deep?
Have I lost my mind?
I don't care...

You're here tonight.

I can be your hero, baby.
I can kiss away the pain.
I will stand by you forever.
You can take my breath away.

Oh, I just want to hold you.
I just want to hold you.
Am I in too deep?
Have I lost my mind?
I don't care...
You're here tonight.

I can be your hero, baby.
I can kiss away the pain.
I will stand by your forever.
You can take my breath away.

I can be your hero.
I can kiss away the pain.
And I will stand by you forever.
You can take my breath away.
You can take my breath away.

I can be your hero.

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