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Chapter 1 - Midnights Shower

Its a short story about two boys preparing for a meteor shower. It was really just a test. Please comment and critique. Much appreciated!

Chapter 1 - Midnights Shower

Chapter 1 - Midnights Shower
“Hey, when is the meteor shower supposed to start?” Kat asked his friend to which in response he replied with nothing more than a puzzled
shrug.
“Well, why don’t you look it up online?” Offered Yoshi.
“I don’t know why I didn’t think of that before. Thanks for giving an caveman a flint stone aye.”
“Hey man. Do you want to come over to my casa to watch the shower? I‘ve got a porch and a brand new telescope.” He nudged his friend
lightly.
“Really! A new telescope! Is it the one I’ve seen in the magazine you showed me?!”
Yoshi grinned, “maybe.” He would talk about how great it is but he didn’t want to gloat.
“Alright! I bet with that thing you could wee Pluto!”
“Ha, ha, you could probably, at best, see Saturn. Pluto’s to far for it.”
“Well whatever. I have to go to my last class. I’ll catch you after school.”
“Ok, later.” The two parted and went to their separate classes. Yoshi had cosmetology and Kat had physics.
Later on that day, after the final Friday bell rang, the two met and rode off on their mountain bikes. They followed a trial that passed through a
forest. The trail was very bumpy and twisty and followed a narrow path all the way down to Yoshi’s house. He lived about a mile and a half
away from school. When the they finally arrived at Yoshi’s house they dropped their stuff, grabbed their camel packs and took off up a
mountain trail through the woods that ran up the mountain side. When they finally arrived, the sun was going down and the stars were
beginning to sparkle in the cool, clear, night sky. The boys stopped by the side of Yoshi’s house and ran inside and upstairs into his
bedroom. They ran out onto Yoshi’s balcony and looked up into the night sky. The moment they had been looking up to. A regular school boy
would just go watch a movie or play video games every waking minute away from school. These boys, these outcasts, are different, they do
the stuff that is considered geeky or stupid. Now they watch the night sky. The little white streams of meteors burning up as the earth passes
close to an asteroid belt. The beauty of stars and space, it and all its vastness. The view from the balcony, to the sky, is incomparable. The
brand new telescope is totally forgotten. The boys are glued to their spot starring at the sky, trying to watch every falling burning meteor at
once. The boys stood there, gaping at the sky, dazed, with jaws wide open. The show lasts for about ten minutes and finally ends. The boys
don’t say a single word. Vocabulary stolen by the beauty of the meteors. For no single word could be pronounced to describe it all.
And the boys? They go on with their lives, waiting and watching the night sky for the next light show. For next time they are going to record it
and use a telescope to see what these meteors really look like…

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Isaiah on February 13, 2008, 4:28:38 AM

Isaiah on
IsaiahEnding sucked but I was just trying for detail.