Bound By a Slave
Submitted June 25, 2004 Updated June 25, 2004 Status Incomplete | After getting captured by the devious leader of the knights of Langarra Crystal daughter of Lord Helki gets turned into a mere slave. Getting taken out of Hather the land she had loved was the least of her problems. In fact that was just the beginnin
Category:
Fantasy |
Chapters
Chapters
Chapter 1 - Taken Captive
Submitted: June 25, 2004 • Updated: June 25, 2004
Word count: 841 • Size: 5k • Comments: 1 • views: 177
Comments
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Jailcrow_of_Mandos on July 29, 2004, 4:39:49 PM
Jailcrow_of_Mandos on (Chapter: 1)
Very nice work, but the short sticks of dialogue could use a bit mroe description, and some parts are a bit too repetitive, I think- just things like saying amulet twice - or eyes twice in the same sentence. Still, I like your stuff. keep up the good work =)