Chapter 1 - you wouldn't understand

So now you're ignoring my pleas and cries for help while pulling everyone else away with you. No one even listens to me any more. They're too buisy listening to whatever the hell you have to say. What did you do to gain their undevided attention? (nothing at all.) Now my will to live life to it's fullest is wavering in such a way that i fear it may collaps all togeather I can hear it crashing to the floor. And the usual things i liked to hear you say, well I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT ANY MORE!!! You HEAR me??!! This stuff i've been writing wasn't just for the HELL of it. I was INSPIRED ... by YOU. Not in a good way though. Now PAIN and DEFEAT are my favorite words. That's about all i feel. When I leave, I'll go back to my same old boaring self. I like the new depressed, angsty me. But i have no choice. You won't miss me though; you miss HIM too much. And if he were here, you STILL wouldn't miss me!! I don't even EXHIST anymore! Can you believe it? if not to anyone else, then to MYSELF. Meaning that i have issues. But EVERYONE knows that. I have the lowest self-esteam. My hardest goal would be to chase one of my dreams, ... which, Surprisingly i have a lot of. I just havn't had any that i've thought of ....

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