Chapter 5 - It's Better This Way

A/N: I don't have much to say about this chapter...I'm not in a very happy mood. Which is sorta good, because I'll be able to write more angst.. All I have to say is that this chapter will be somewhat of a tear-jerker..I'll warn you to get out your tissues when I start crying as I write... Though, I don't cry much anymore... I'm just really depressed right now, I WANT to cry but I can't. And I'm just rambling on and on... So I think I'll shut up and let you read..

Disclaimer: I don't own Yugioh.. I'd have been a lot more cheerful if I did...




Of Angels and Demons[/u]
Chapter 5: ...It's Better This Way
By: Nadako-Mika


The air around him was warm and still, making him feel unusually comfortable. He embraced the feeling readily, never has he felt so at peace. The area around him was colored in a welcoming blue; the colors shifting and twisting in various shades. It kind of reminded him of the sea. The calm and vicous waters, the melodious and raging rhythms of the waves. The soft and rough feeling of the water against your skin. The place was filled with so many emotions.
Tears escaped from his blinking eyes. Tears of joy and sufferings. So many emotions flooded through his mind. Happiness and sadness. Depression and anxiety. His heart ached from sufferings and leaped for joy; beating heavily in his chest. He smiled and frowned at the same time, never thinking it was even possible.

"Ryou, my little boy." a soft voice called for him.

He closed his eyes in bliss, savoring the soothing tone of that familiar voice.

"Ryou, my little boy." it called again. "You must listen carefully.."

"I'm listening.."

"He is harming you, my boy... He's hurting your soul. You must do something about it, Ryou. You can no longer let these events go,"

Ryou's eyes snapped open. Large warm brown orbs filled with such pain. His senses no longer danced with each other. No. He only felt pain. He felt incredible sadness as memories came flashing back at him.

"Bakura..."

"Yes.. He is the one." that voice..it sounded so familiar to him.

Ryou looked up sadly. Hope mingled within the depts of sadness. He hasn't seen her in such a long time...
"Mother?.."

"Ryou, my little boy..." the woman said. She floated down towards the teenager, her silvery hair whipping through the flashing blue colors. Her eyes were a gentle gray; so full of life, yet showing the sadness of death. Her smile was gentle and warm, and could easily melt the hearts of many. But it couldn't penetrate through Ryou's sadened heart. "Why so much pain?"

"M-Mother..." he looked away. Never has he felt so ashamed. Has he done something wrong with his life? He felt like a bad son, letting someone else control his life. This wasn't why his mother had brought him into the living world.

"Hush, my child," she ushered. "There is no need for worry. There was nothing you could do, Sister Fate had already chosen your path. Fate may be cruel, but no worries. You can still change your destiny. Sister Fate can allow that, Ryou."

None of what the woman said had made sense to him. So what was he to do? Let Bakura go? Get rid of Bakura?

"I don't understand..."

"Make him realize the mistake. Confront him. Make him see."

Ryou only looked down, trying to figure out what his mother was trying to tell him. He felt warm arms embrace him lovingly. He looked up to see his mother's smiling face. The smile he had seen so many times as a little boy.

"Ryou, my little boy... Go to sleep. Rest your mind." she suggested. She rocked slowly back and forth, cradling her son as if he were still four years old.

Ryou felt his eyes grow heavy and droop slightly. Before sleep overtook his senses, he heard the soft hum of a soothing lullaby.

------------------------------------

Ryou's eyes fluttered open. He was surprised to see warm strong arms embracing him in a tight hug. The arms were quite thin and pale. Painful red scars traced along the healed viens. Ryou frowned, who was holding onto him? He looked around the room, it was his own home. The white walls, the blood red fabric of the couch, the familiar scent. It was all his, his home. Then who...?

The boy stiffened as realization dawned on him. Could it be... Who else? Who else would have the keys? The person behind him shifted slightly. Ryou only guessed that he was asleep. As the person moved, one arm was lifted from atop of Ryou. Ryou took this opertunity to slip away silently. The boy quickly stood up, and almost toppled over. He felt dizzy from the sudden movements. When he had steadied himself, he walked towards the door. He had to get out before the person woke up. Ryou proceeded to unlock the door...

A small click was heard. A pair of sharp brown eyes snapped open. Eyes squinting, trying to focus on the figure by the main door.

"Ryou?' a quiet voice asked.
The boy turned around. His body grew rigid as he saw his yami heaving himself up to a sitting position. "B-Bakura.."

"Where do you think you're going?"

"I n-need to go for a walk."

"In this weather?" Bakura asked somewhat innocently. He slowly advanced on his hikari, though not in such a threatening way. His eyes no longer held the deep hatred and cold feelings. No. They had softened a little, revealing the tiniest shine to the dull color. He held out his hand. "Come on. You need to rest." he said.

Ryou backed away and stared at Bakura's hand, as if it were some sort of harmful weapon. What was the yami trying to do? He started shaking violently as Bakura walked closer. What was happening?

Bakura instantly stopped when he saw how frightened his hikari was. Was this his doing? Had he scared Ryou to such a point? Bakura frowned deeply and looked at Ryou. "I-I'm sorry..."

Ryou's eyes shot open. Did... Did he just hear Bakura ...appologize? Was this some sort of trick? He stood in shock. He didn't notice Bakura walk closer to him, but was snapped back to reality when his arms embrace him once again. Ryou's body froze in fear.

Bakura pulled Ryou into a loose hug. Tears threatened to spill from his sharp eyes. Why was Ryou so afraid of him? "Hikari? Will you ever forgive me?" he asked in his unusually quiet voice. "Can you forgive me for what I've done to you?"

"Bakura..." should he trust him? A part of him wanted to return his yami's embrace. A part of him wanted to scream and lash out. Ryou's heart told him to give in, to forgive him. His mind screamed out in protest. After all, Bakura had hurt him in so many ways. Could he really trust him? And what about that dream? It had felt so real, was it really his mother? Was what she had said true? If so.. he should be careful around Bakura.

Ryou pushed away from the hug. His mind running in confusion. Tears lined his vision as he stared down at the floor. What was he to do? Was Bakura telling the truth? Why would Bakura change all of a sudden? If he gave in, he would probably be hurt all over again. Then again, this could be his only chance to tell him how he felt. That he loved Bakura. Ryou looked up hesitantly and locked eyes with Bakura's.

He wanted to burst out crying, right then and there. Bakura's eyes... So full of sadness. Anger, depression, hate, and sympathy all mixed together and then enveloped by a sea of brown. Could Bakura really care about him? What about the hate? There was hate deeply embeded in those eyes as well. It was all so confusing."E-excuse me..." Ryou whispered before running upstairs.

"R-Ryou, wait!" Bakura was at the base of the stairs when he heard a door slam shut, and a lock click loudly. He made his way up slowly and gracefully, his feet never making a sound. The bathroom door was closed, and light leaked from under the slight crack. Pressing his ears against the door he heard something. Sobbing. Ryou was crying.

It wasn't the usual cries. Not the ones full of agony and pain. These cries and tears were so full of confusion and sadness. Bakura's heart twisted painfully upon hearing it. He reluctantly tore himself from the place and headed back downstairs. He would let the boy have his time.

------------------------------------

Bakura was about to knock on the still closed bathroom door, when he heard a loud thump. He held his breath, it came from behind the door. It had sounded like something heavy had fallen. He knocked loudly, but there was no response.

"Ryou?" he called, rather worriedly. "Ryou? Are you okay?"

He began to panic. What happened? There wasn't a sound from the boy inside. No sob, no sigh, not even a 'Go Away'. What could he have done?

Something began to leak from under the door. Bakura looked down, and he paled. A crimson liquid was seeping through.

'Blood?! The Hells... Hikari, what have you done this time?!' Bakura tried to open the door, but it was still locked. He furiously twisted the knob, trying to force it open. He then resulted to picking the lock. He took out a think stip of metal and started poking at the doorknob, fumbling many times in his panicking state.

After what seemed to him like hours, the door clicked and was swung open. Bakura rushed in and gagged at what he saw. Ryou was sprawled across the tiled floor, a blood covered razor by his side. Blood was quickly escaping from his self inflicted wounds. The stench of copper quickly filled the air. Bakura backed away slightly, surprised to see such a thing. His hikari, his light. How could a pure light such as Ryou do something like this?

(Nadako: *cringes* Ooh... a bit bloody... Sorry you had to read that...)

Coming out of his shocked state, Bakura headed for the cupboards. He quickly pulled bandages off the shelfs. He worked quickly trying to wrap up Ryou's wounds. He propped the unconcious Ryou against the wall and proceeded to clean up the bloody mess. Throwing the blood red clothes and mop away, Bakura turned on the bathtub tap. He was going to wash the blood out of Ryou's purely white hair.

'Ryou.. Why did you do this?'

Ryou was on the bed now, resting peacefully. Bakura came in every minute or so to check up on him. He was obviously worried about his hikari. Why would Ryou do such a thing? What would have driven him to harm himself? The answer was obvious, but Bakura didn't want to believe it.

'Am I the one who's been doing all this?' he pondered, 'But.. I've changed. I've changed for the better...right? Why is he... Why is he still dying?! WHY?! I've done what I've been told to do. But no change. Ryou's still drifting away. I can feel it, he's still fading.

'Maybe it's because I'm around. He can't stand me... He's dying because I'm alway around to hurt him physically or mentally. I'm probably just a plague to him. Then what do I do?... Leave? If I leave, he would never be hurt by me again. He'd be free to live his own life. Maybe I should leave...'

Bakura frowned ans sighed heavily as he walked into Ryou's room again. How was he going to leave? He couldn't just stay in the Sennen Ring, Ryou could still barge in. He could leave physically. He could move out. He did, after all, have his own physical body. Yes. That's what he would do. He'd move out and close the link between him and Ryou. Perhaps he should pack some things before just heading out the door.

What did a spirit like himself need? Some clothing would be nice. Bakura shifted through Ryou's wardrobe and pulled out the outfits with dark colors. His hikari never did wear dark colors, it was always him. Money. He needed money to survive out in the world. But he couldn't just take all of it; Ryou needed some too. He'd just have to borrow some at first, make his own over time, and return the borrowed money to Ryou's bank account. Bakura seemed to have this all planned out.

Ryou stirred in his sleep, though Bakura took no notice. Pained eyes snapped open and took in the surroundings. He was no longer in the cramped little bathroom of theirs. He was on his own bed, in a new outfit, with bandaged arms. He turned his head in the other direction and saw Bakura putting a few of his belongings into a suit-case. Curiousity got the better of him and he sat up carefully; his arms were quite sore. Ryou staggered slowly to his yami.

"Bakura?" a small voice called from behind him.

Bakura turned his head and met eyes with his hikari. He frowned slightly. He hadn't wanted Ryou to know of his departure. "What is it?" he asked softly.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm packing," Bakura answered simply. He quickly turned around and shut the suit case closed. He stood up and took the case with him, trying to avoid looking into his hikari's sad eyes.

"Why?"

"I'm leaving."

Ryou frowned. He was leaving? Where to and why? Why would Bakura leave? He wasn't going to leave him all alone was he? "Why are you...leaving?"

"It's for the better..." Bakura answered again, trying to conceal his sadness. He didn't want to leave, he wanted to stay with his hikari, but he knew he shouldn't.

"What do you mean it's for the better?! You're not just going to leave me alone are you?" Ryou asked frantically. He didn't want to be alone in this house. He wanted some company, even if it meant it had to be Bakura.

"It would be better for you if I left,"

"I don't understand-"

"You don't have to." Bakura snapped. He twirled around and stared at Ryou. He saw the fright in the boy's eyes again. No, he couldn't stay any longer. "Look, hikari. It's just too complicated to explain. It.. It's better this way." He spun around and hurried downstairs, Ryou chasing him.

"Bakura! Wait, what do you mean?! Just wait! Don't leave yet. Bakura-" Ryou watched sadly as his yami sprinted out the door and into the rain. Bakura dashed through the puddles, not daring to look back once.Ryou shook with tears. Why had he left? Was there something about him? 'Maybe he finally had enough of me...' he thought bitterly, 'He probably couldn't stand to see me anymore.'

He didn't want it this way. He wanted his yami to stay. If Bakura really had changed, they could have fixed the little gaps in their relationship. They could have started over. It felt as if his heart had died on him; aching badly in his chest. Tears flowed non-stop; soaking his clothes. He ran out the door and saw Bakura's dissappearing figure.

"BAKURA!" his shout echoed through the abandoned streets.

--------------------------------------------------------

A/N: O_o;;; i actually forgot I had an account on Fanart-central... x_x;;; go me.... Yesh..anyways.. That was the next chapter. PLEASE (if i haven't told you all yet) remember this is an old fanfiction i wrote YEARS ago..>.>;; so.. my grammar and junk is kind of terrible xD

Want the next chapter? keep emailing me or reviewing and remind me ._. i have bad memory.

You are not authorized to comment here. Your must be registered and logged in to comment