Chapter 1 - RETARTED NEWSCAST

SL: Welcome to my show, lets just say everything that''s retarded happens here, now lets watch this clip of a retarded newscast!

Nightshade: Have you gone to therepy, yet?

SL: NO, NOW SHUT UP!

Nightshade: *Watches Clip*

SL: Hello this is SL and Jaken reporting live from news channel 176!

Jaken: Umm...............there are hardly any top news stories, so we''ll go to this minor one with Kagome!

Kagome: Well, I''m here at the scene where this city, just got attacked by Demons! Sir what do you have to say?!

Sir: Well...............................................RUN!!!!!!!

Kagome: Very interesting! Umm.................now,............................back to you..................Jaken!

Jaken: Now for the weather with Inuyasha!

Inu: Well, today''s weather will be, sunny with a chance of snow. Tomorrow, there might be a tornado and some hail the size of..........golf balls, Wensday and Thursday it will have a 90 to 100% chance of rain, finaly Friday We''ll experiance a hurricane!

SL: Very interesting weather Now we go to Songo in flordia!

Songo: HELP ME! flordia''s zoo, monkeys and animals have escaped! AHHHHHH! HELP ME!!!!!!!!!! *Camera goes blank*

Jaken: Umm...................................................commercial!

Jaken: Now we''re back! SL is reporting on strange vicious plants!

SL: I''m here in Beach, North Corliana, were thers a pest problem with FLESH AND MAN EATING PLANTS!!!!!!.................................................. Sir, sir what are you running.....................................................*Screams* *runs* *camera gets attacked*

Jaken: Ok, SL should be back soon, sooo we got Kirra in Flordia, New York!

Kirra: We''re here interveiwing the oldest person in the U.S.! Sir how old are you?

Sir: I''m 120

Kirra: Do you feel great?

Sir: *dies*

Kirra: Sir?,Sir? Umm.............he..............died*laughs nervously* thats all, now back to Jaken

SL: Jaken is reporting on Supernatral hap.................*gets interupted by pizza guy*

PG: Did someone order a pizza?

SL: NO, MORON, GET OUTTA HERE!*Throws him out the window**stares at camera and then laughs* like I was saying Jaken is reporting on Supernatral happenings!

Jaken: Well, I''m here in Montana, New Jersey, where people are being possessed by EVIL spirits, and Zombies are also taking over the city...............................................................*has a disgusted look on his face* Now, its raining Zombie parts! Now back to you SL.

SL: ZOMBIE PARTS?.......................................OK...........................................Now we go to Miroku in New York, Vermont!

Miroku: It''s a criticle scene here, a UFO just landed and is taking everyone hostage..........................................................*camera goes blank.*

Jaken: I''m sorry we''re having technical difficaulties with Miroku, we''ll try to get back to him............................................................

SL: This just in, breaking news! Everyone is going under rule by Demons!, more on that story at 11:00

Jaken: WOO, DEMONS RULE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SL: *Glares at Jaken*: Now, lets goto Shippo in New California, California.

Shippo: Well as you cna see there are Mutant Zombie Vegtables are running amuck, its total chias here! Sir What are you running from?

Sir: CARROTS AND PEAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*Running away*

Shippo: Very interest.............................................umm..................................I have to go now................................................................back to you, SL!

SL: Is it just me or is the world coming to an end?

Jaken: Umm.....................................I''m not really sure!

SL: Ok..................................................now let''s go to the sports with Sesshomaru!

Sess: There are no sports, all the players got eaten! *smirks*

SL: By what?!

Sess: Demons.

SL: OK...........................................now we go to Koga in New Jersey, New, York!

Koga: As you can see ther is nothing...........................................*Town blows up* *Straight face* the town has blown up!

SL: This is just not my day, every thing is going wrong!

Jaken: Umm.................................. we''re on the air, SL!

SL: Umm................................................ok...........................Commercial!

Jaken: Now we''re back............................................ lets go the weather again!

Inu: Ok, this week we''ll experiance hail the size of pennies, tornados, hurriacnes, earth quakes, valcanos, and if we''re still alive, we''ll experiance a meteor shower! *straight face* good luck surving.

SL: Nice! Ok........................................lets go to Kagome in New Jersey!

Kagome: RUN!!!!!!!!!!!! *Camera goes off*

Jaken: Ok, SL is in New Mexico! Reporting on strange things!

SL: Well....................................................umm.................Mutant rabbita and rabid zombie dogs 0ver run New Mexi.............................*Camera goes blank*

SL: ok........................umm.............................more news after this break!

Jaken: Now, we go to SL in New Montana, Flordia!

SL: Well, there''s a pest problem here, an army of giant mutant ants have taken over the city...............................................EveryBODY RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!

jaken: Ok, thats all the time we have, see you tonight a 11:00.........................

SL: IF we''re still alive.
__________________________________________________

Nightshade: Well, that was retarted!

SL: What do you expect?

Nightshade:........................................

SL: EVIL!!!!!!!!

Nightshade: THATS IT, YOUR GOING TO THEREPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SL: NOOOOOOOOOOOO, ANYTHING, BUT THAT, I''M BEGING YOU, NOOOOOOOOOOO!!! *goes to therepy*

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