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Chapter 1 - The Arrival

Just an idea I had, lemme know what you think.

And btw I borrowed the bad guys from actual myths lol

Also please make sure to check out the Q&A section (for background info on Hellfire), I'll be updating it periodically.

Chapter 1 - The Arrival

Chapter 1 - The Arrival
"Typical," came a voice from nowhere.

The dark fog cleared just enough to make out the voice's owner, a tall figure with bright red eyes. A large pair of wings folded behind him. His attention was directed at another figure, standing to the side with its arms crossed, staring at the bright portal just ahead of him.

“We can’t even go through for another few minutes,” the voice came again.

“Two minutes and 43 seconds,” the second figure responded. “And where exactly is Kaesi?”

“Omigod, Astar, relax,” came yet a third voice.
The first figure, who obviously had been paying little attention, looked around stupidly for the source of the voice. Astar, however, looked at the ground just a few feet to his side. A cloud of smoke began to rise from the spot, and slowly come together to form a third figure.

“I’m here. I said I’d be here by midnight, I’m here by midnight. And frankly I’m insulted that you thought I wouldn’t,” she said, crossing her arms. “It’s not like I’m Alagor or something.”

“Love you too, sis,” said the first figure with a slight grin.

“Sorry, Alagor,” Kaesi said, rubbing the back of her head nervously. “Didn’t realize you were here already.”

“Midnight,” Astar spoke up, tilting his head to point at the portal, which had been growing steadily larger. “Time to go.”

Without another word, he stepped through the portal and disappeared. Alagor grabbed his sister’s hand. “Ready?” he asked. She nodded, and as the two followed Astar through the portal, it instantly closed behind them.

Kaesi looked around. “So this is the human world, huh? Kinda boring,” she said. Then, after thinking for a bit, added, “But I think it might grow on me.”

The three began walking down the street, a look of mixed anxiety and determination on each of their faces.

“This oughta be fun at least,” Alagor commented, “hard, mind you, but fun.”

“On that, at least, we agree,” Astar responded, “This certainly should be…fun,” he finished with a wide grin, his fangs gleaming in the moonlight.

“See this is why they tell us to come on Halloween,” Alagor said, “The fangs and glowing red eyes would probably scare the hell out of most of these kids.”

“Right,” Kaesi spoke up, “because those wings of yours are so subtle, Alagor.”

“Heh,” he laughed, pointing at Astar with his thumb, “at least I’ve got control of my powers.”

They all turned their heads to look behind them. “Sorry,” Astar said, calming himself down. “Guess I’m a little overly excited,” he finished. They continued to walk in silence, a trail of smoldering footprints left in the road behind them.

Comments

Comments (6)

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MagusFarlorn on November 18, 2008, 8:37:06 AM

MagusFarlorn on
MagusFarlornVery nice. The dialogue moves the story, as it should. Dialogue should never be an excuse to waste a few pages for the sake of filling space. It also establishes personality.

Being as the portal was being used on Halloween, perhaps it was because that is one of the times the veils are thinnest between worlds.

YoriXYamiForever on November 2, 2008, 1:40:38 AM

YoriXYamiForever on
YoriXYamiForeverI love it so far ^^ Demons are awesome and I love how you portray them. LOVE ALAGOR'S WINGS!!

Must keep reading!! ^^

KelekiahGaladrian on October 28, 2008, 3:47:41 AM

KelekiahGaladrian on
KelekiahGaladrianAwesome first chapter. Short, but sweet. ^^ The personality you put in for each chapter was awesome. I love character personalities. ^^

Great job! ^^

Sirengina on October 26, 2008, 1:39:55 PM

Sirengina on
SirenginaIts so good Josh <3

You are seriously one of the best writers I know, cant wait to read more! ^^

Blackwolfmoon on October 26, 2008, 8:18:23 AM

Blackwolfmoon on
BlackwolfmoonVery well written, i love the ending to this chapter

can't wait to read the next one ^-^