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Chapter 1 - Day of Manhood-ch1

Jarren Tyson awakens on his 15th birthday which known to his parents culture was his "Day of manhood"....

Chapter 1 - Day of Manhood-ch1

Chapter 1 - Day of Manhood-ch1
The morning light streamed through the pulled curtains of Jarren’s window. The sunbeams lapped at his face as though someone had poured a canister of water over his face. His restless motion to keep the light out of his eyes seemed to have failed. Jarren finally gave up; pulled back his shawl laced sheets and sat up dead straight. Jarren was a somewhat hefty but buff person. His hair was dirty blonde and his eyes a dark indigo. Today Jarren turned 15 years old, and to his parents culture was the start of manhood. He did not know much of his parents past and country for when he brought it up, they changed the subject, but Jarren knew that through his parents culture, there would be a great feast in his honor. Jarren quickly dressed and ran up stairs for breakfast. Jarren’s room was located in the basement because he liked the dark but dimly lit room with one window.

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Blue_Haired_Girl on June 20, 2005, 6:09:07 AM

Blue_Haired_Girl on
Blue_Haired_GirlThis is quite good. Very decriptive and interseting so far...only you reused the word face within about the same sentense, maybe you should change one to a diff. word...or subbstitute face with 'it' the second time you use it or something. Overall I really liked this, is there more?