Chapter 1 - A Hero Never Gets a Break

A blue haired teen threw himself at the river. He drank the water greedily, getting it all over his clothes.

“Ah...that’s good H₂0...” he sighed.            

He bent over to look at his reflection.            

“I could do with a bath...” the adolescent muttered, brushing his bangs from his eyes to reveal a gold crown.            

He got up and brushed the dirt off his breeches. Then he observed the sky, which was pitch black. Clouds smothered the sun, leaving no light to escape. He shivered and drew his cloak around him.            

Something sank slightly under his feet. He jumped back quickly, just before it caved in. The river somehow fell into a sinister hole which seemed to have no end.            

“Uh...”           

Then he noticed that everything was caving in.            

“Erm...”           

And since everything was caving in, that meant that he would also drop into that dark abyss.            

“Ahm....”           

He gulped a few times, and then finally the ground underneath him gave away.            

“Doesn’t a hero deserve a break?!” he yelled as he fell down, his words stretching out.  

***            

A young man in a green tunic sighed and tapped his fingers impatiently on the ornate (and expensive) table.            

“Zelda!” he called out to the adjoining room. “Hurry up!”           

“Just a sec, Link!” Zelda shouted back. “Tada!”           

Zelda glided fashionably out of her dressing room. She wore a very odd shade of green.            

“What do you think? I call it...cheese green.”           

“It’s...uh....unflattering.”           

“Why, thank you. I am hoping to scare away at least ten suitors today.”           

Link sighed and looked out the window. It was unusually dark and cloudy. It reminded him of all the times Ganondorf took over. Ah. Good times.      

And then...           

“Link!” Zelda shrieked. “My precious books and scrolls! They’re....sinking!”           

Link groaned and looked over at the princess’s own personal library. It was indeed sinking.            

“Uh...termites?”           

And then the floor collapsed, sending princess and hero into who knows where. 

***            

A Pikachu sniffed a flower happily. It was so fragrant. The field in which it rested was beautiful beyond beauty.            

Or, it would be, if not for the fact that the world was being sucked in.            

“Pikachu!” it screeched, which here means, “Ah!”           

“Jigglypuff!” a Jigglypuff called out, which here means, “I agree with you that this is a catastrophe!”           

“Pichu!” and “Muahahaha! My evil plan...it’s working! Oh, wait, this appears to be a different insidious plot. Hmm........AHHH!!!!”           

And all the cute, cuddly Pokemon were thrown into the un-cute and un-cuddly vortex.  

***            

“Mamma Mia!” an Italian plumber yelled.            

“Oh no!” screamed an entirely too feminine voice.            

“Rarr!” roared a giant turtle.  

***            

While I really would like to go on...I think I’ll just summarize.            

Everyone got sucked in to big, dark, hole. Remember that now.  

***            

Link got up, sword at the ready. To his surprise, he was standing on a flying contraption that was currently shooting magic blasts at other such flying contraptions.            

“Amazing!” cried a stranger. “It seems to be a flying contraption that is currently shooting magic blasts at other such flying contraptions!”           

Link stared at the girly-looking (in his opinion) nerd (in his opinion).            

“Uh...who the Triforce are you?”           

The blue-haired adolescent straightened himself up and announced his presence to the world.            

“I am Prince Marth of Altea! Master swordsman!”           

Link interrupted him here.                    

“Hey, that’s funny! I have a Master Sword!”           

“You serve a sword?” Marth asked incredulously. “Wow!”           

Link sighed.            

An anthropomorphic fox sped up to them with amazing agility.            

“Hey! What are you blokes doin’ on my plane?”           

And then a bird came up. It was also anthropomorphic.            

“Yeah! And what are those other blokes doin’ here, too?”           

The bird pointed to a bunch of other people that Link had never seen before.            

“Pikachu?” asked a weird, mouse-like...thing.           

“Jigglypuff!”           

“Pichu!”            

“I’m Mewtwo.”           

“And, I,” said Zelda dramatically, “am Princess Zelda, next in line for the throne of the kingdom of Hyrule. Sage of Light! Wielder of the Triforce of Wisdom! Experienced mage! Learned scholar! Kleptomaniac!”           

And all the other people introduced themselves.            

Fox looked at Link.            

“I’m Link, most handsome”—here he smoothed his hair—“guy in all of Hyrule.” 

***              

“Wait a sec, Falco,” Fox said slowly. “If you’re out here, then...who’s flying the airship?”           

“Uh...”           

That was the moment that the plane broke down and plummeted towards the earth.           

“Doesn’t a hero ever deserve a break?” Fox yelled.

You are not authorized to comment here. Your must be registered and logged in to comment