Chapter 1 - The Crusty Hobo

    In New York City, below the streets, there is an Afghani named Crusty who lives in a van. This van travels up and down the sewer stream. He smells like sewage and used to eat pizza on occasion with the four Ninja Turtles; until some freak with a razor-face ate them.
    So instead he would spend his days with Mario and Luigi. Mario would always start fights, and Crusty didn't like him very much. Mario only cared for doing shrooms, eating spaghetti, and some dumb broad named "Peach" that he met on the corner one late night.
    However, Luigi was cooler. He would eat pizza with Crusty as they drove the van around the sewer and ran over rats.
    So one day, Luigi and Crusty found a pipe sticking up out of the sewer with some random deformed flower sticking out of it. After they dumped a bottle of draino on it, they convinced Mario there was a whole field of shrooms that it led to, and they sent him in.
   Little did they know, Mario had been sent into the Bog Of Eternal Stench, forever to wither away with the most foul scent one could ever smell. When Mario didn't return, Luigi questioned it, but decided not to care. Mushrooms suck anyways.
    Later in that week, Luigi found out Crusty was from Afghanistan. He didn't handle it well. Luigi's mother died in a car-bomb explosion in Iran. When Luigi couldn't run Crusty over, he got out of the car, threw crusty into the sewage, and put his hand to Crusty's face. Just when Crusty's brains were about to be fried from a fireball, Smokey the Bear came out of nowhere and threw sewage water on Luigi.
    "Only you can prevent sewer fires!"
    All the while, Crusty is under the sewage drowning until Free Willy comes and rescues him. He didn't last long, because Captain Morgan and his crew of Rum Guzzlers came for his whale oil for their lamps.
    After everything calmed down, four rmained; Crusty, Luigi, Spongebob, and a dead Free Willy.
    What will happen next?! What will that doofus sponge do?! Why did I write this story?! Find out next time on The Crusty Hobo!
 
 
(I was bored)

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