Chapter 5 - Curch

When James woke up on Sunday it was time for Church. James liked church, being there gave him an odd sense of purity. It brought his family closer and his community together. He felt bad about keeping this secret, especially hear, but at least he could be a little more honest. Although he had mixed feelings about it, being half vampiric brought up a lot of questions.
Like what side was he supposed to be on? Should he really be hear? Was it right to be parts of the Christian community when you knew you were something that was wrong? And even if it was only a part of him, could he really deny its existence?
Vampires were always viewed as evil, even in myths and fables, but something inside James couldn’t believe that. He wanted to but he knew that wasn’t true. Was it? Melexa had told him from the beginning that the Thorn didn’t kill humans for food. It was forbidden.
James wanted to embrace Christianity but being Vampiric kept him from that, and he wanted to embrace being Vampiric but humanity kept him from that. He felt like he was being tugged at by all sides and it was horrible. However, going to church made him remember why he didn’t drink blood, why he was still fighting even though it hurt like crazy. It gave him strength even though he felt like he didn’t belong. But was it right?
James and his family entered the old church and took their seats. Today was going to be his third time in the youth group. The way things had been going for the last few days he could tell that there was going to be another awkward conversation. But at least he knew all of the scientific stuff, the school and Melexa had seen to that.
Morning prayer was the first thing they always did; were others would ask for support to help them face their own problems. James only wished he could ask for that kind of help. But he would gladly give it himself. As much as he could anyway. Then they would drink juice in remembrance of Christ’s sacrifice.
The cups were smaller then the ones that came with medicine.
After this they would sing songs of worship and kids would be called down to Sunday school and youth group. The first day hadn’t gone well for July. Since James wasn’t there she was more confused then ever. Mostly because she didn’t know whom to ask for help and no one understood her that well. She had adjusted quickly but was still on shaky ground.
When youth group got called it confused he even more. They were called on the beginning, middle, and end of each month, but to her it was completely random. July watched as her brother left for the group. She knew why, but something else was telling her that he would be the one coming out of this confused.



James was silent on the way home. Today’s discussion had been about sexuality. There was a short briefing about what it was in the health video what the different terms meant, and the different laws concerning it. But that was it. The youth group discussion was about the different things that went with it.
Lust, the rules concerning it, abstinence, and what was right or wrong concerning sexuality.
James understood abstinence before marriage and the different rules concerning lust but other things confused him. Homo and bi sexuality were one. The video, teachers, and most of the school staff that there was nothing wrong with “swinging” in those directions. But the youth group leader said it was a sin. The teachers and the youth group had said that they didn’t know what caused it.
So James had no idea what was right. When they got home James went to his room. He wanted to ask someone but he wasn’t sure about how they would react. Not only that but it seemed like everyone had their own opinions about it, so he didn’t know how to get a straight answer. James sat down on his bed and sighed.
Shortly after July entered with paper and a box of crayons. She could tell that he was confused about something and she wanted to help him but she didn’t know how. So she sat down and drew things. James though, and though, and thought. He knew he shouldn’t question God and that God might be mad if he did.
After all God had his best interests at heart right?
“But I guess he (or she) would want me to try and figure it out instead of being confused right? Or at least to ask someone. But how do I know if they’re right? I could ask God, but for some reason I keep missing the answers. Every one says you get some kind of singe but all of the questions I’ve asked him I already know the answer to or I missed the singe.” James flopped backward and stared at the ceiling.
“ How could being homosexual be a bad thing? What’s so bad about it? I can understand why someone would find it gross but a sin? The passage the group leader made us read. ‘ It is a sin for a man to lay with another man as if they were a woman’ or something. It means sex right? How is that physically possible? And what about women?” James thought.
There was a long silence. July drew a question mark with her crayon. “ agh! How the heck do you even tell!?!” James thought as he got up to pace. After a few minutes July stopped him and handed him a crayon. She wore a worried expression.
What ever she was trying to say she was right. Worrying about it wasn’t going to help. James sighed; maybe drawing would clear his head. That was when he noticed the paper strewn all over the floor. Most of it was colored a bright shade of Blue.
He laughed; maybe she just liked the color.


* * *
Melexa sat in the group hall of the underground coven. Besides the three leaders the thorn seven were sitting at their usual table silently drinking coffee. Yes, vampires could eat and drink regular food but since their bodies absorbed and stored everything most could only have one meal a day excluding half lings.
“ So how is you’re potential fledgling doing?” Melexa asked Moon shadow. Most vampires could take fledglings. The only ones in the thorn seven who didn’t have fledglings were the three leaders, Navy, and Leks. Navy was normally busy and Leks simply wasn’t a kid person. The other three had no excuse.
“ I saw threw one of her dreams that she’s thinking about running away from her human father. She’s been isolated at school too and it’s making her depressed. From what I’ve seen out of her dad no one seems to understand her needs. Poor girl feels like she’s trapped in a cage. She even afraid she’s going to start cutting herself, and her father wont let go so it’s making everything worse…” Moon shadow sighed.
“I think I need to get her out of there. She needs to find her mother. The closer would help.” There was a long pause. “ How’s James doing?” She asked. “ Well… I just told him about the blood wars and the awkward stuff so that’s all out in the open. He seems fine although he’s still a bit of a loner.” Melexa said. “Damn you’re lucky, most kids are really depressed and angsty at this age, I’m impressed.” Moon shadow said.
“ Well you know how it is with the quiet ones. One minute their fine and then the next they drop a bomb on you.”
* * *

Steven sat on the couch, watching T.V. with Rent. “ Rent where’s your sister?” He asked. “ She left, you didn’t hear her?” Steven shook his head. “ Man you need to get your head out of the gutter. You’ve been zoning out all day.” Rent shook his head. He was right.
The health video brought up a few questions that Steven didn’t know how to answer. Things he knew that his father might not know how to answer. And the fact that Valentines Day was tomorrow didn’t help at all. “ You okay?” “ I’m fine.” Steven replied.
At that moment the front door swung open. “ Rent! Come on! We need to get home. I’m freezing.” Rose called. “ Why? …Do I smell chocolate?” Rent asked sniffing the air. There was a short pause. “ You like a boy don’t you?” Steven and Rent said in unison, both raising an eyebrow.
“ S-Shut up, that’s none of your business!” Both boys rolled their eyes at each other. “ Come on Rent! You know I’m naked.” Rose mumbled, rubbing her bare arms. Rent sighed. Nudity was a regular part of being a were-wolf and it was faster to travel in the form of a wolf. Rent undressed in a corner, strapped his cloths to one of his leg with a stretchy headband; within seconds he was a brown wolf only slightly bigger then a regular wolf.
A black wolf appeared with a paper bag in her mouth, she also had cloths strapped to her leg. “ What’s that?” Steven asked gesturing to the paper bag in her mouth. Rose growled at him. Steven shrugged. He knew he would find out later.
The two wolves raced out of the house and Steven closed the door after them. Something told him there would be trouble soon.


* * *

“ Give this to mommy” James said handing July a card and pointing to a picture of his parents on his nightstand. His sister took it and left his room. However she interrupted her parents who were making out on the couch, they immediately separated. “ Oh! July! Uh…” Her mother stuttered. James shook his head as July handed his mother the card, completely unfazed.
“ From your eldest son and first born, happy anniversary.” Jane read aloud. Valentines day was the day their parents had met. “ Aw thanks you guys. Come hear” their father said and July promptly sat on top of him. James was surprised when his mother grabbed his shoulders and turned him around. He hadn’t even heard her enter his room. “I don’t care if we’re not physically related. You are still our son,” She said hugging him.
Even though he hadn’t really meant anything about it in the card it was still nice to hear.

James walked into the school with July and led her to her classroom. When he caught a glimpse of rose he couldn’t help but notice that she was in a dress. “That’s unusual.” He thought to himself. Most of the day was spent in class. Everyone seemed to be confessing to crushes today. Even Tyler had stepped out of his comfort zone, of course not until after he mad a few smart comments at James, who simply ignored them.
But James also couldn’t help noticing that although someone had confessed to Steven, he turned her down. Most kids didn’t want to be alone on Valentines Day: they all jumped at the chance. So why hadn’t Steven? Few were left alone. Even some of the shyer kids were stepping out of their shadows.
As James sat down in his usual spot at recess it seemed like every rejected kid in his class flocked to the area and joined him, looking depressed. “ Love sucks,” One of the girls said. “ Amen!” another replied. “ I’m swearing off women,” Tyler said. “ Why? You’re like, twelve.” The first girl asked.
“ Yeah but it’s not like I’ll live this down anytime soon.” He said. “ At least you almost had someone, I never stood a chance,” A dorky looking boy said. “…What about you James?” The second girl asked.” Do you have a girl to be with on Valentines Day?” James blushed a bit. “ I don’t really have a love interest right now. I never have.” He admitted.
“ WHAT!?!” almost the entire group shouted. “ James” Tyler said, grabbing his shoulders and forcing him to look at him. Tyler looked dead serious. “ Pleas answer this seriously…are you an asexual?” There was a short pause.
“ What the hell is that?” the first girl asked. “ Didn’t you watch the video? An asexual is someone who neither likes boys or girls, or anything else that’s possible. I was reminded about it by the discovery channel.” Tyler stated proudly. “ You watch the discovery channel?” the first girl asked. “ Hey I have allot of free time.” He replied.
“ Well?” the dorky looking boy asked James. “ I-I doesn’t think so?” James replied. “ Ha! So it’s true! You really are gay!” Tyler said. James was about to retort but Tyler was hit in the head as soon as he finished the sentence. Rose had appeared out of nowhere.
“ Tyler stop being stupid!” She said. “ Wha- Holy crap she’s in a dress!” Tyler gasped. She tried punching him but he dodged. “ You deserved that you know.” The first girl said. “…Look a giant cow!” Rose shouted.
When some of the kids looked in the direction she was pointing James was hauled to his feet and dragged into the building faster then he had been in his entire life. “ That was pathetic” Tyler said, unamused. When she stopped running James almost bumped into her. “ Eh? Rose?” He asked, something told him this would turn out badly. She faced him and held out a small box of chocolates.
“ I-I like you allot. Will you be my valentine?” She asked. She was blushing and looked like she was going to bolt any second. “ Rose…” James thought. At that second James had the urge to hug her, because he knew he was about to stomp on her heart.

* * *

James was standing with July waiting for the bus when he was suddenly slammed agents the brick wall. “ What did you do to my sister!?!” Rent shouted. “ Leave him alone Rent.” Steven said shoving his cousin off of James. “Rose is tough she’ll get over it.” The two glared at each other before rent stomped into the building.
There was a short pause before Steven turned on him. “ I thought I told you to stay away from my cousin?” “ Wha? ”-“ I don’t care!” Steven shouted interrupting him and grabbing James by the scruff of his shirt. “ Don’t ever go near my cousin again.” He said.
James was scared but that disappeared as soon as July started crying loudly. “Then don’t scare my sister.” James said, he was angry. Steven turned and went after Rent while James tried to calm July down. This was the worst Valentines Day he had ever had.

* * *


Stevens house wasn’t any better. He didn’t know what to do about his cousin and had been roped into another conversation over ice cream by his father. “ So… how did your day go?” His father asked him. “ Not too well.” Steven replied. “ Oh, so she turned you down?” He asked.
“ No, it was the other way around.” Steven said. “ …So uh, he turned you down?” “ N- DAD!” Steven shouted mortified. “ Hey I just wanted to be sure hear.” His father waving his arms defensively. “ …So what happened?” “ Rose happened, James turned her down.” Steven explained. “ Oh… Wait he’s two years older then her right?” Stevens father asked.
“ Yeah. I knew this would happen, that’s why I told him to stay away from her.” “…Maybe he didn’t because she’s his only friend. You said yourself that he hasn’t made any friends since that fight you two had. And two years isn’t that big of a difference.” His father said. “ It’s not the age difference that bothers me. It’s the fact that Rose might get involved with a bunch of vampires.” Steven explained. “ Well it was bound to happen sometime, it comes with the territory.” His father explained to him. “ Did you try to do anything about this?”
“ I told him not to go near her.” Steven answered. “ Steve.” “ I know, I can’t choose her friends for her or keep James from hanging out with her. I don’t want to see her get hurt. Doesn’t it bother you that your niece had a crush on a Halfling?” Steven asked.
“ Yes, but I cant do anything about it, and he’s human too right?” His father said. He had a good point there. There was a short pause.
“ But gosh ten, ten! … That tares it! You’re not dating until your thirteen.”
“ That’s only a year away”
“ I’m being fair.”
Steven smiled and shook his head. His father had an odd scene of fair.


* * *

Needless to say when James got home he wasn’t happy. In fact when he got home with July, upon being asked about how his valentines day went he replied with “ It’ sucked!” and promptly ran to his room and slammed the door. His mother had tried to ask him what was wrong but he simply didn’t want to talk about it. His current best and maybe only friend had liked him and he had to turn her away.
It felt like the same emptiness from two years ago had slowly opened up and was now trying to swallow him. The worst part was that he didn’t know why. Sure she was still a kid but, maybe that was it, but Rose could also be very mature at times too. Not only that but she was somewhat smart and overall a nice person. Sure Rose was small but she was also pretty strong and one of the fastest runners he had ever seen compared to himself and her cousin.
She was also his friend when he had no one, rose was there. Not because she felt sorry for him but because she liked being his friend. She kept him from feeling alone at school. She made him feel better, and it wasn’t that she wasn’t pretty. She was very pretty. Almost like the flower she was named after.
So over all even though she was ten and he was twelve and the age difference was still there, it didn’t matter. So why didn’t he feel the same? James couldn’t understand it. He was losing his friend and he felt sick.
James laid on his bed and hugged his pillow. He felt like he wanted to cry so he changed the subject. He couldn’t do anything about Rose. He was as honest and as gentle as possible. If she couldn’t be his friend anymore he would have to put up with it. So in an attempt to block out the loneliness that was creeping in on him, he reviewed some of the memories of his day again, until he stopped at a certain question.

“ I don’t really have a love interest right now. I never have.”
“ What!?!”

Was that really so unusual? He was only twelve after all and he was sure he hadn’t forgotten of missed it. Love was just one of those thing you just knew without a question. James would know when he had a crush on someone. But he didn’t know what kind of girl he would like.
James had never felt any sort of attraction towards a girl for…anything. There simply was no attraction. True girls were pretty but nothing like that right? And James was pretty sure he didn’t like anyone who was older then him in that way. Plus, what else was there if not girls? And what could he like in a girl?

“… Are you an asexual?”

Maybe Tyler wasn’t so far off the mark. Maybe James didn’t like anyone because he couldn’t like anyone. He sighed. If he didn’t then it would be hard to explain to his parents. As far as he knew they had never actually known anyone like that. James got up. Brooding would do nothing. So he walked into the living room were his mom was sitting on the couch reading. “ I’m sorry if I ruined your day.” He said. “ Oh no James, I’m just worried about you. You don’t normally shout like that.” His mother said putting the book down on the coffee table.
“ But just because I had a bad day doesn’t mean you have to.” Jane smiled, got up, and hugged him. “ I don’t think you could ever give me a bad day.” She said. “ Do you want to talk about it?” she asked. James was silent.
“ I don’t think Rose is going to be coming over in awhile”

Over the next month Rose flat out avoided James. She had dropped the cold shoulder after about a week and was now mostly hanging out with her brother or her classmates. She gave him an occasional “ Hi.” or a “ Hey can I borrow that glue?” but nothing more. Simply put, she seemed to accept the fact that James didn’t have those kinds of feelings for her and stopped trying. They had gained an understanding without words and although James was glad that she didn’t hate him, he was still alone.
He tried to find new friends but he didn’t seem to fit anywhere. Tyler took advantage of that.
It was around the time of his thirteenth birthday that he decided to chase James around the room with a pair of succors. “ Cut it out I never did anything to you!” James shouted. Where was the teacher? Everyone had move to one side of the classroom and no one interfered. He and Tyler were currently trying to move around a desk.
“ You can’t run now can you?” Tyler mocked. “ Leave me alone!” James stepped to the right and Tyler blocked his path. Then James tried to push past him when Tyler tried to get to hi hair. “ …Oops.” James put his hand to his cheek. It was bleeding.
The classroom was dead silent. Tyler had never managed to make him bleed before and hadn’t been trying. “ You moron!” James pushed him back. Fine you want me to cut my hair so bad!?!” James grabbed the scissors before Tyler could react, cut his ponytail shorter then the band that tied it, and threw it at him. “Take it!” With that James stomped out of the room.
A teacher was running to the classroom with Steven right behind her. “ What happened!?!” She gasped when she saw him. “ Like you ever cared!” James shouted at her. He ignored her when she called after him. It didn’t Take James long to get the bleeding to stop.
It was only a small cut, only about an inch under his left eye, but the more he bled the stronger the cravings for blood got. Bleeding was not an option for any vampiric being. Spit worked well to seal the cut ( a trick he had learned from Melexa) and it would be gone in about two days. James sighed when he saw himself in the mirror. His mom was going to kill him.
The front was long and the back was short. It made him look like a girl. He’d never hear the end of it from Tyler now. Rage boiled inside him and James got so angry that he punched the mirror sending shards everywhere without realizing it. He wanted to do that to Tyler but he knew it would crush his skull, it would kill him, And that was what James was scared of the most.
As he sunk to his knees he heard the bathroom door close. Someone had been watching him.

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