Chapter 11 - The dreams

James had heard of erotic dreams before in health class and in other places, he just didn’t expect it to be so… strange? He couldn’t tell if the other person was female or male because he was blind in the dreams and the other person made no sounds. The only thing he had to go on was what he felt and his brain was normally to fogged to think. The only thing he could remember was the persons smell. It was so familiar; James knew that he knew this person from somewhere but he couldn’t remember where.
And it was driving him crazy. Also he discovered one night to his own horror that he was loud, very loud. While he was in the middle of one of these dreams July had shaken him awake looking frightened. She had heard him from her room because both of their doors had been left open. Needless to say he switch to ice cold showered before bed and wore duck-tape over his mouth.
His parents never knew of any of this and he was thanking god for it. It was around that time that Melexa decided to schedule visits before James could fall asleep. James didn’t know exactly why and personally he already had an idea and didn’t want to know the details. “ James” Melexa said before training one day. He had grabbed him by the shoulders and said, “You need a therapist.”
“ Huh?” James replied confused. The serious look Melexa gave him was the only explanation he got for this odd behavior. Melexa had looked dead serious but in reality he was doing everything he could to keep a straight face. A mischievous smirk would have freaked the poor kid out and just outright laughing wouldn’t have made any sense although it was kind of funny. However all of this only led to a very rude awakening. One James wanted to forget.
The strangers’ scent had completely filled the room like a calming mist. As usual James couldn’t see a thing. Said stranger had been teasing him and had stopped to caress his face. “ Well this is interesting” James bolted upright with a yelp. Moon shadow was resting her head in her hands with her elbows on his bed, grinning.
“Mmmf fmmmm!?! Mmmf mmmf mfmm ffmm!?! Mmmfmm!” “ What?” She said ripping the duck tape off of James’s mouth. “ Ow!” There was a short akward pause.
“ Melexa found out didn’t he?” “ …It was kind of obvious.” She grinned. James buried his face in his knees.
“ Okay; so I was messing around in his consciousness and ran into a memory. But don’t tell anyone or he’ll kill me.” Moon shadow said sitting next to him. He scooted away. “James” she said putting a hand to his forehead. “ There is no shame in liking someone.” “ …Huh?” Moon shadow sighed.
“ Normally a dream like that means you’re surprising something and it can’t be healthy.” She explained. James paused. What could he be suppressing? “ What?” Moon Shadow gave an agitated sigh. “ Come on James. You can’t see or hear this person at all. You can’t even tell if it’s a she. You’re obviously suppressing something.” She explained. There was another pause. “ Anything?” She asked. “ …No.” Moon shadow sighed for the third time. “ Well I’m sure you’ll figure this out sometime. I’m only worried about you because you seem so exhausted.” “ Moon shadow it’s the middle of the night.”
“ I meant all the time.” She smirked. There was another pause. “ … What did you see?” He nervously asked. “ Nothing; just like you. When entering a dream I can either become a part of it or I can see from the dreamers point of view.” She explained. “ O-oh” James’s face made him look like he was trying to pretend to be a tomato.
“ Relax, I came hear to see if I could point you in the right direction, and now that I have; you have someone else to confined in.” She said getting up. “ Have a good night.” And with that Moon shadow disappeared out the window and into the night. Surprisingly enough, James slept well that night. The next day James had been speed walking to class. (The bell had already rung) He had been pondering what Moon shadow said. James searched his emotions relentlessly but couldn’t find what he was suppressing.
“ It must be deep.” He thought. Before he could even look up he crashed into someone. In a moment everything slowed as he fell back to the floor. The scent had filled his nose and lungs, and then he knew. Things sped up again.
“ O-oh sorry.” Steven stuttered getting up. He kept walking. Suddenly the memory of his fourteenth birthday rushed back to him and he remembered the way Steven lips felt agents his. Up until now he had forgotten, no, suppressed it and it had come back all at once. James wanted to hide. He was terrified, ashamed, and really happy at the same time.
Then a sinking feeling filled his stomach. For the rest of the day James wandered in a daze. He had tried to deny it, saying it was only a coincident smelled the same but then he had to ask himself why he knew that. Why he had caught Stevens’ scent and remembered it enough for his brain to make the connection. He tried not to think about it but it kept popping back up in his head.
After a while his parents became concerned and his little sister demanded more attention from him, Julys way of trying to get him to snap out of it. It was no use. James felt another tug at his heart. He was already being pulled in two different directions. The third however was starting to make him feel sick, and not in a good way. Things only turned from bad to worse.
Two days later he had a dream. Only this time he could see and hear every thing. The part that freaked him out the most was that Steven was completely himself, or as much a James knew. When he woke up in the morning he couldn’t deny the feelings he felt anymore for the mess was proof and not only that but the old wound in his heart reopened and bled out the stinging loneliness he had felt as a child with a renewed passion. For the first time in a long time he cried, really cried.
Not only because he missed Steven desperately but also because of this new discovery. He was a vampiric homosexual. James had tried so hard to be a good Christian, all he ever wanted was to belong and be a good person. But he was something wrong, something that shouldn’t exist, an abomination. And although he had done everything physically possible to change it all failed.
James couldn’t change this nor could he fix it. He felt broken. After Cleaning the new add on to his laundry and taking a cold shower he watched the sun rise, completely silent until his family woke up. He couldn’t look anyone in the eye especially his mother nor could he eat. Eventually when he left for school he found himself turned in an entirely different direction.

“ With the life style I live I need to be reminded about strong moral values.”

Navy’s words were echoing in his head when James got to the building.

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