Chapter 1 - "Fragile"

Even though there is a light spot in my life,
I always have to look back to the knife.
It shines and glistens in the night,
And sometimes it looks like a welcoming sight.
I try to think of all that is good,
But nothing shows up.
All I see is the knife.
No one loves me,
No one cares,
Time ticks by much too slowly,
I am not aware,
That I am losing my mind.
Whenever I'm alone,
These things drift into my head,
And I can never seem to remember,
All the important things you've said.
You warned me to stay clear of the thoughts,
But they swarm my sanity,
Kill my happiness.
Make me want to die,
And I always cry,
Just hoping to be alright,
The tears don't help though,
They fall and disappear,
Never making me change my mind,
Never increasing the fear.
I hear voices with no location,
And they whisper to me continually,
They speak so reasuringly...
I don't know what to believe.
My confident insane ways,
Or my intelligent unsure mind?
Which do I choose?
I am in a fragile state,
And it won't go away,
I want to get rid of it once and for all,
But it won't listen to what I say.
And still the knife glistens,
Begging me in the night.
Telling me "move closer,"
It says it will be alright.
Those voice, no, not again!
Leave me alone, go away,
Don't return, stop it!
Shut up! You can't take me over!
No! No, leave me alone!
...
It's finally over now,
Because I listened to the knife,
I believed that it would be all right.

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