Chapter 3 - Chapter 3

Hallo!

Behold, it's the third chapter of Adventures in Dueling! In this one, I face the dreaded……….TEA GARDNER!

Bongo: Why her?

Anthony: Oh, all of the Rare Hunters are out for the count. I kind of wanted to duel Umbra, but you know, he's kind of stuck in the Shadow Realm…anyway, let's get going!

I don't own the rights to any Yu-Gi-Oh! card that appears in this story. I do have most of the real cards that I play, and I'm working on making the fake ones. Thank you, Photoshop! *kidding*

Okay, story time. But first: A disclaimer!

Dark Magical Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh!, I don't own Witch Hunter Robin, I don't own Shaman King, or the rights to any Final Fantasy game, or InuYasha. *chuckles* I'm going to bring Menomaru into the next chapter.

Bongo: Hey, your deck is taking the Yugi route.

Anthony: In the sense that it's a Dark Magician deck, or in the sense that I pull new cards out of my backside whenever I need them.

Dark Paladin: *appears from nowhere.* Both! *laughs*

Anthony: *starts* Hey, where'd you come from?

Dark Paladin: Well, first Dark Magician and Buster Blader got together, and did something with each other, and then after a while, they had me. I'd rather not go into detail…<^_^

Anthony: Okay….officially weirded out here. Male pregnancy…very odd.

Dark Paladin: Yeah. I got teased all through school because I had two dads. But Saint Joan never got that! And she's got two moms! Same with Musician King! And Empress Knight! Oh, and what about Sanwitch? That thing's father is a DUST BUNNY! Or the Thousand Eyes Restrict? No one even knows what GENDER IT'S PARENTS ARE! *continues ranting in a hyper fashion.*

Anthony: *checks mental Yu-Gi-Oh! database* Uh, I think there was some mention of Relinquished being male, but that's just me…anyway *Points at Dark Paladin* Eliza! Tranquilize! (Haha, you were expecting me to say `Euthanasia!')

Eliza: *sigh* you could just ask. *gives Dark Paladin a tranquilizer*

Dark Paladin: Ow!*tranquil* I'm calm! I'm calm! I'm going to go and kill dragons with Dad.

Anthony, Bongo, Robin, Bahamut, and Eliza: Which one?

Dark Paladin: Damn you all! *disappears*

Uh, before further weirdness can ensue, let's just start the chapter…



Adventures in Dueling: Chapter 3.



“Oh, crap.” Anthony muttered. “I'm in that ice place.” He sighed. “Where's the evil penguin?”

“You have to duel me!” A perky female in a short skirt exclaimed.

“You?” Anthony asked. “Tea Gardner? I already beat Yugi, so that Sage's Stone is useless.”

Tea made a fist. “YOU DEFEATED YUGI?” she screamed, her hair changing color. “I will show you the joy of transcendent bliss!” she shouted, levitating in the air.

“Uh, this isn't Ceres.” Anthony said. “You can't do that.”

Tea pouted, descending to the ground. “Just duel me.” She said. “I choose Dark Magician Girl as my deck master.”

“Uh, I pick Faust VIII.” Anthony said. As Faust appeared, Anthony leaned over. “What do you do?” he asked.

Faust smiled his creepy smile. “I let you special summon Zombie monsters from your Deck instead of summoning a monster.” He said. “But you have to discard one card to do it.”

Anthony rubbed his hands together. “Most excellent.” He said. “And you give zombies an extra five-hundred attack points when you're on the field, right?”

Faust nodded.

“Hmm, this could be fun.” Anthony said.

“STOP TALKING WITH YOUR DECK MASTER!” Tea screamed. Anthony and Faust fell over.

“Geez, did someone not take her meds today?” Anthony asked. Faust mumbled something about writing a prescription for that psycho dog.

“I summon Maha Vailo in attack mode!” Tea said. Maha Vailo appeared in a flash of sparkles. “Go!”

“I activate Faust's effect.” Anthony said. “I discard the Dark Magician Girl from my hand to summon Vampire Lord from my Deck. Then I play Monster Reborn to bring back Dark Magician Girl.” He said. “Vampire Lord attacks Maha Vailo! Now send a monster card from your deck to your Graveyard” Anthony said.

A flock of bats destroyed Maha Vailo. Tea pouted. “I pick Despair from the Dark!” she said.

“Holy hell!” Anthony exclaimed. “Where'd you get that?” he demanded, as Despair from the Dark appeared on the field in all his gaseous blue glory.

-Robin: For those of you who don't know why Despair from the Dark was played, it's because when Despair from the Dark is sent from your hand or Deck to the graveyard, it special summons. It's a level eight dark zombie-effect, with twenty-eight hundred attack points and three-thousand defense points. Also, Tea is now at 3550.

-Anthony: Why thank you, Robin.

“I've always had my cute little Despair from the Dark in there.” Tea said. “Are you done?”

“I play one card face down.” Anthony said. “Go.”

Tea drew a card. “I set a defense monster, and Despair from the Dark attacks Dark Magician Girl!”

“Activate Waboku.” Anthony said. Three nuns with keys appeared, and blocked Despair from the Dark's attack.

“Go.” Tea said cutely.

“I discard Dark Magician from my hand to special summon The Patrician of Darkness from my Deck.” Anthony said. “And I set a defense monster. Now Dark Magician Girl attacks your face-down card!”

“Man-Eater Bug.” Tea said. “Buh-bye Vampire Lord.” She said, waving. Man-Eater Bug jumped onto Vampire Lord, and ate him.

“Go.” Anthony said. Sheesh, is this Tea or Bakura? He asked himself.

“Despair from the Dark attacks the Patrician of Darkness!” Tea said.

“Nope, he attacks my face-down card.” Anthony said. “That's his effect. So useful, doncha think?”
-Bahamut: the Patrician of Darkness actually does do that. He lets you pick the target of your opponent's attack.

“And,” Anthony continued. “You just attacked my Old Vindictive Magician, who destroys your Despair from the Dark!”

-Bongo: Old Vindictive Magician has the same effect, level, and attack and defense points as Man-Eater Bug, but he's a dark spellcaster.

“That wasn't nice!” Tea exclaimed, as Old Vindictive Magician used some sort of weird magic to destroy Despair from the Dark, right before the old coot himself was destroyed. “I set a card and end my turn.”

“Yeah, yeah, suck it up.” Anthony said. “My turn.” He drew. “Since Vampire Lord was destroyed because of an opponent's effect, he comes back.” Vampire Lord's coffin appeared, and he popped out of it. “Then, I discard Horn of the Unicorn from my hand to summon Eliza from my Deck, and move Faust VIII onto the field.”

-Bahamut: For all of you who are interested, Faust VIII is level 7, spellcaster/effect, dark, 2800, 2000, and he increases the attack of all zombie monsters by 500. Eliza is a level 6, zombie/effect, 2400 2200, and when she's sent to the graveyard at the same time as two other monsters, she comes back from the graveyard, and you can special summon Faust from your deck.

“You think that a schoolgirl in a pink dress scares me?” Tea asked. “Activate my face-down Call of the Haunted, to bring Despair from the Dark back from my Graveyard!” Despair from the Dark appeared, in his full blue glory. “In defense mode!”

“Great.” Anthony muttered. “Even with the bonus from Faust, none of my monsters are strong enough to destroy it. I set two cards face-down, and end my turn.”

Tea drew. “I change Despair from the Dark into attack position, and equip it with Violet Crystal.” She said. “Now attack Faust!”

“Chain: Activate Boneyard Crush.” Anthony said. “I discard Pyramid Turtle from my hand to destroy Despair from the Dark, and negate its attack!” (You already saw this scene in the first chapter, so just imagine it with a turtle that has a pyramid on its back, as opposed to Eliza.)

“I end my turn.” Tea said.

“I attack you directly with all of my monsters!” Anthony said.

“No you don't.” Tea said. “I discard Kuriboh from my hand, and reduce all damage that I take during this turn to 0.” Thousands of furry puffballs appeared in front of Tea.

“I activate my face-down Tree of Ages, to negate Kuriboh's effect.” Anthony said, flipping over the card. The Kuribohs were swatted away by gnarled branches and exploded in clouds of fluff, and the various attacks hit Tea directly.

“NOOOOOO!” Tea screamed, right before she exploded in a shower of whipped cream.

-Bongo: *Wipes whipped cream off of his shield* Good thing I brought my blast shield.

“And we're done.” Anthony said, as his cards disappeared. “Okay, who's next?” He looked around.

“Me!” Serenity Wheeler said.



Bongo: You're just ending this chapter like that?

Anthony: Heheh…<^_^ yeah, sorry.

Bongo: Just make sure you end the next duel soon!

Anthony: Why? You know what's going to happen.

Bongo: Yeah, but it's more fun, because then I can say `ha! I knew that was going to happen!'

Well, thanks for reading! Tune in next time for more *bah bah bah* ADVENTURES IN DUELING!

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