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Chapter 1 - The List...

Chapter 1 - The List...

Chapter 1 - The List...


You know you've been watching too much anime when…
[ulist]
You wonder why you haven't seen anyone with natural green hair recently.

You realize maybe it isn't a good idea to walk around with a skeleton in your coat.

Every index card in the room doesn't come to your rescue.

Big swords are both unpopular and unwieldy.

Your clothes don't miraculously repair themselves.

You aren't employed by the underworld after you push a little kid out of the way of that speeding car. You just die.

Things don't burst into flame when you look at them

Throwing a sword at someone's head when you're mad at them isn't a good idea, and it's NOT funny.

You don't have mystical kung fu powers.

Or holy powers.

Or any superpowers whatsoever.

Training for hundreds of hours doesn't give you a new hairdo.

Watching an old man's car doesn't give you karate-hang on a sec! That's not anime!

You realize that hanging around your local graveyard waiting for spirits to contact you is probably a waste of your time. Also, people are starting to talk.

Throwing a garbage can at someone has negative consequences.

That giant robot you made? Hate to break it to you, but it doesn't work.

You realize that we're NOT in the middle of an intergalactic war.

Your playing cards won't fight for you.

Losing a duel isn't the end of the world. It just doesn't work like that.

You find yourself making lists of all the reasons that you know you've been watching too much anime when…

Your cat doesn't turn into a giant flying fiery cat-thing.

You get arrested for trying to eat your dog.

People who wear red trench-coats are not trying to kill you.

You suddenly realize that that guy who walks around dressed like Inu Yasha either has way too much time on his hands, is actually a woman, or can't distinguish between anime and reality either.

People tend to get annoyed when you shout out words like `Kamehameha!'

Beams of energy don't fly out of your hands when you shout `Kamehameha!'

Your attempts at walking up a tree end in the emergency room.

You notice that you have a spouse and kids. And grand kids.

Shooting arrows as people doesn't kill them instantly (most of the time). It only pisses them off.

Those markings on your right arm aren't a sign of demonic possession. They're just Sharpie.

Taking food from strangers doesn't keep you from disappearing. If anything, it can cause you to disappear.

You can't send people to the Shadow Realm.

You aren't carrying the spirit of a pharaoh around your neck in that oversized pendant.

You have no Craft powers.

That's not Orbo, its Palmolive.

You can't control plants.

You realize that the hole in your hand isn't the Wind Tunnel. Maybe you should get that looked at…

Carrying a giant boomerang around is both dangerous and unwieldy.

Your voice may change when you sing, but it's not for the better.

Trying to dive through solid matter fails miserably.

Reading an old book doesn't send you back to Ancient China, where you are the Priestess of one of the four gods. It just makes you sneeze.

You realize that just because that guy said he's a demon, it doesn't mean it's true.

You're surprised by the face that most people's eyes are smaller then their fists.

The PETA throws a bucket of red paint on you because you're walking around, wearing a white baboon skin.

Making a body-shaped mold and placing dirt from someone's grave in it doesn't bring that person back to life.

When you cry, it doesn't hit a person standing five feet away.

Hugging someone of the opposite sex doesn't cause them to turn into an animal. You just get hugged back, or told to bug off.

You realize that people who walk around with the skeleton of their dead significant other have problems.

You can't fly.

You make lists like this.

Swords are dangerous.

People don't have naturally green or blue hair. We hope.

Eating a whole pineapple without chewing can be dangerous to your health.

Stepping in front of that speeding cannonball turns out to be quite painful, if in fact not lethal.

You can't dodge bullets-wait, that's not anime either.

You're surprised when you can't punch a hole though-among other things: People, walls, and rocks.

When your grandfather hands you a mummified hand, it's not because your family is afraid that you'll turn out to be possessed by a p'od celestial maiden, and try to kill them all.

It's just your twin brother, not an ancestor who's reincarnated himself as you in order to take over the world. Stop trying to kill him.

You can't control spirits, or see them

Chances are, no matter how badly you want to, you don't live in Japan.

You make lists like these.
[/ulist]


So, which of these apply to you? Hmm?


Comments

Comments (55)

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FluffysPrincess2968 on December 20, 2007, 7:56:25 AM

FluffysPrincess2968 on
FluffysPrincess2968O_O Now i see how much of a dork I am... BUT U FORGE=OT SOMETHING!!! WHAT ABOUT TRYING TO DO HANDSIGNS!?!?!?! I've done that once or twice... <_< >_>

Anime_Eyes on April 21, 2010, 2:57:10 AM

Anime_Eyes on
Anime_Eyesme too....

Anime_Eyes on April 21, 2010, 2:56:41 AM

Anime_Eyes on
Anime_Eyeslol Furuba. I wished I would turn into my Zodiac when hugged, but I never tried it... O_O *cough* ... *cough* ... Ahh-hehm.... I BEST BE ON MY WAY, THEN! lol

No, this is great. :) lmao. ^_^ FAVED!

Heavenknight on September 7, 2007, 3:54:40 AM

Heavenknight on
Heavenknightwere u talking about excel saga with the eating dog thing?....it was funny i loved it.

AmmyK on December 23, 2006, 8:47:41 AM

AmmyK on
AmmyKI have the same ? as IQQT. are you sure? and...WHAT KIND OF PERSON WOULD EAT THERE DOG!!! Which anime is that from. You forgot. You've been watching too much anime if you go around trying to convince people that you have the genes of a certain animal like a cat or something. And then you claim that your name is the name of some japanese fruit. I have met people who have done that. But sadly, some of those do apply to me, NOT the freakish ones, just the ones that are mostly normal-ish. heh.

fuzzyavalanchefob on December 4, 2006, 9:29:14 AM

fuzzyavalanchefob on
fuzzyavalanchefobI didn't know I was such an anime dork O_O;
But I do know a kid with blue hair...it's not his natural color...but...meh.
*tries to fly*
*fails*
Yeah, i'm a dork.*faves*

Neopetgirl on August 31, 2006, 2:35:47 PM

Neopetgirl on
NeopetgirlLol that is so HILARIOUS *busts up laughing*

*Favs a million times*

IQQT on August 18, 2006, 2:40:04 AM

IQQT on
IQQThehe...that was hilarious.
unfortunately some apply to me, but are you sure hanging around the local graveyard and not seeing spirits isn't true?Hehehe...

Hentai6with9horohoro on August 5, 2006, 7:41:14 AM

Hentai6with9horohoro on
Hentai6with9horohorohahahaaaa
This is hilarious! xD
It made me disapointed though D;
alot of these applied to me ;-;

before my friend came to school wearing a blanket that looked like Lyserg's cape and she was like, " Ima gonna kill you with my pedulum!"
It scared me o.o

Demon_of_the_Dark_Fall_clan on July 20, 2006, 4:50:34 AM

Demon_of_the_Dark_Fall_clan on
Demon_of_the_Dark_Fall_clanUnfortunately, I qualify for all of those.....My life is an anime!!!!!!!*goes berserk and begins to pilot giant robot that somehow came to life, because I made it that way*

Katana_Ploeg on July 12, 2006, 3:49:54 AM

Katana_Ploeg on
Katana_Ploeglol, i laughed soooo hard when i read this.....
wait....if i can't control spirits then who are the see-through men talking to me O_o
and who says you can't carry around skeletons?! *hides skeletons in suede jacket*
wait....now your telling me you're suposed to eat your dog O_o *looks at Zeus's bones* uh...
~Katana Tao
((for all you stupid people, i was joking for all three of those 7_7))

SalemRat78 on July 11, 2006, 9:18:13 AM

SalemRat78 on
SalemRat78heh, i make lists like these... and i wish that i'd get hugged back when i hug people...i get told to buzz off v-v i need a hug.

bruffleshnif on May 22, 2006, 3:14:56 AM

bruffleshnif on
bruffleshnifso your saying that shooting that arrow at my neighbour was a bad idea ?0.o , is it bad that I thought it was funny
 
Karou: yeah , it sot of is
 
Me: oh , well , so who wants cofee *grins*

Rei_Anul_Sama on May 15, 2006, 1:07:43 PM

Rei_Anul_Sama on
Rei_Anul_Samahehe...hehe...does it count if i think my father is Sesshy??...heh...most of these aply to me as well...hehe...welp, Sess is coming...gotta go or he'll kill me again...then mommy will have to steal his sword and revive me...i can't believe he would even think about killing his first born...even if i did marry Naraku...but still...that shouldn't matter...

anywho...great list^_^ i know most of the above apply here^_^''' hehe...

Koda on April 18, 2006, 11:07:30 PM

Koda on
KodaOMG!*Faves Imedailty and then loks at her green hair....*Rubs hand across noes and into hair, Mines natural!

Khalia1114 on February 26, 2006, 8:34:18 AM

Khalia1114 on
Khalia1114Darn, so I carry that skeleton around with me for nothing? That sure sucks. xDDDD -adds to favs-

Elements on February 12, 2006, 9:30:06 PM

Elements on
Elementslol I deffinately have been watching to much of my shaman king music videos (can't watch it on tv anymore the evil jetix people stopped showing it) I should probably stop hugging all those guyd who look like my favorite characters...

anyway I'm going to ad one of my own you can't make sweatdrops/turn into chibis etc and certain moments

Little_Miss_Anime on December 10, 2005, 8:47:33 PM

Little_Miss_Anime on
Little_Miss_AnimeLOL
this is damn funny XD
and I want a bishie cookie!! *bounces up and down*

KAT_Hiwatari on November 29, 2005, 1:01:48 AM

KAT_Hiwatari on
KAT_HiwatariO.o ...
COOOL!! lol, nice list! and well, I better not list those that apply to me. I doubt it will fit here ^-^U
whateva! Sayonara!
*disapears into the cloud of smoke appearing all of the sudden*
coughcough
not fair, that always workes in animes ^-^U

tikalgirl52 on November 3, 2005, 5:10:33 AM

tikalgirl52 on
tikalgirl52=D;;; I'm not crazy I swear it!
Rita: Yes you are it's helpful lists like these that prove it! *faves* we need to keep these in mind.

Poison_Ivy on October 30, 2005, 3:25:06 AM

Poison_Ivy on
Poison_IvySad thing is that I've done at least half of these -.-

faustrulesallwithhao on October 3, 2005, 1:54:45 AM

faustrulesallwithhao on
faustrulesallwithhaoall of them. yes even that one about the skeleton in my coat. but even though its not smart i still do. :D

MyoShenzo on September 30, 2005, 11:22:23 AM

MyoShenzo on
MyoShenzolol

But now I actually have to face reality...

0.o

Shattering_Light942 on August 10, 2005, 3:49:48 PM

Shattering_Light942 on
Shattering_Light942Uh, All of these apply.

*Chucks Shonen jump out the window along with a TV*

Wait, what am I thinking????
NOOOOO!!!!!!! NOT SHONEN JUMP!!!

*Jumps out window and dies,
is reincarnated,
get zapped by TV,
dies again,
is reincarnated again and is lying in old issues of Shonen Jump and pieces of a broken TV*

dragons_healing_blood on August 2, 2005, 5:05:45 AM

dragons_healing_blood on
dragons_healing_bloodsister of blood
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! ha
so, you are trying to tell me that a sword 3 times me body wait is dangerouse, i laugh! if the can do it on inuyasha, then so can i!

NicNic on August 1, 2005, 9:18:45 AM

NicNic on
NicNichehehe! omg +faves+ and unfortunat;ly lots of these apply... i rmember me and my friend poured chemicals on our hands and put it on fire and we were running around yelling kamehameha! ahaha good times.... ^^ *caugh caugh* ehem... anyways this is halarious... I make wierd lists like this all the time... *caugh* wana cookie?*throws cookie at person*

chibianimegirl22 on July 15, 2005, 1:20:02 AM

chibianimegirl22 on
chibianimegirl22reality hurts ......

but i did live in japan!

better luck next time!

Redneck_Anime_Gurl on June 25, 2005, 1:30:05 AM

Redneck_Anime_Gurl on
Redneck_Anime_GurlWow.I've had a lot of those things happen to me or I've done them,mainly the Dragonball one's.

Lex on June 9, 2005, 3:47:09 AM

Lex on
LexDude, most of these apply to me. Is that bad?! Anyway, very good and very funny!! *favs*

Pyrophile_wolf_lady on May 21, 2005, 1:39:05 AM

Pyrophile_wolf_lady on
Pyrophile_wolf_ladyVery cool! Even though I never tried to do any of these things, now I have a reason to!!!

moonstar_neko on May 19, 2005, 12:44:49 PM

moonstar_neko on
moonstar_nekoWell, none of these apply to me, or at least I hope not. It's hilarious though. Ah, how I wish I actually could set things on fire by just looking at them. X3 I can be such a pyro sometimes.

MitsukaiOkeruOozora on April 28, 2005, 8:34:40 AM

MitsukaiOkeruOozora on
MitsukaiOkeruOozoralol, this is hillarious!

WolfBlue on April 2, 2005, 11:05:52 PM

WolfBlue on
WolfBlueOk! Ok, so a FEW of them apply to me...

kiya on March 22, 2005, 4:25:06 AM

kiya on
kiyaWhat the hell are you on WolfBlue? Quite a few of these apply to you!! Then again, a lot more of them apply to me too...damn... Tis very very very dudingly funny dude!!! *Adds to favs*

WolfBlue on March 20, 2005, 1:17:43 AM

WolfBlue on
WolfBlue*snorts with laughter* now that is funny! Luckily, none of these apply to me. Yet. Honest.

SoloAzume on March 18, 2005, 7:11:00 AM

SoloAzume on
SoloAzumeMAN! UR GOOD! Hahahhahahahha! *favs*

Silvanis on February 2, 2005, 11:22:15 AM

Silvanis on
SilvanisHeehee! I luv this one. Time to fave! *howls and faves*

paperclips_rock on February 2, 2005, 4:21:05 AM

paperclips_rock on
paperclips_rocki'm a sad n00b so only a few of these appy to me :(

Barney--TheAnti-Christ on January 24, 2005, 8:51:34 PM

Barney--TheAnti-Christ on
Barney--TheAnti-Christlol favs!!! all of that is mee!!!!^^


barney disturbes me

necromancer_boy on January 13, 2005, 7:08:50 AM

necromancer_boy on
necromancer_boy*sniff* you like me! you really like me!
Anyone who was creeped out by that my show their creeped-out-ness by posting comments. But still: THANK YOU FOR YOUR COMMENTS! *hands you all Bishie-cookies: they turn into your favourite bishie...well, at least, a cookie that looks like them.*

The_Mad_Hatter on January 12, 2005, 1:15:50 AM

The_Mad_Hatter on
The_Mad_Hatter"Taking food from strangers doesn't keep you from disappearing. If anything, it can cause you to disappear."

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

Cara on January 6, 2005, 9:12:11 AM

Cara on
CaraOk I won't shove doughnuts down your throat. ^_~ And you're welcome I'm glad they help brighten your day. You are an awesome writer my stories are just blah.

Sephir0th666777 on January 5, 2005, 9:40:57 AM

Sephir0th666777 on
Sephir0th666777haha!
this is great!
so much truth!
Muhahahaha!
Favs!

Wolf_Queen on December 31, 2004, 12:51:10 AM

Wolf_Queen on
Wolf_QueenALL of them apply to me....I wish i had known those things earlier...

necromancer_boy on December 27, 2004, 8:39:20 AM

necromancer_boy on
necromancer_boyTo Cara:
Please, I beg you, STOP SHOVING DOUGHNUTS DOWN MY THROAT! *chouchs and chokes for a sec*
But other then that, thank you very much for your comments. They make my day that much brighter!

Emerald on December 26, 2004, 8:20:12 AM

Emerald on
EmeraldMost of these apply to me : (.....

Cara on December 23, 2004, 5:54:32 AM

Cara on
CaraXD Quite a few apply to me. Great job +favs for you both. Here have a donut. *shoves a donut down your throat*

mskchick on December 19, 2004, 1:37:19 PM

mskchick on
mskchick*favs* omg i luved that! awesome!

FaustVIII on December 17, 2004, 12:45:06 PM

FaustVIII on
FaustVIII^__^ yay! well you'll see my latest advertising in a while,*laughs maliciasly* also by the time you read this ch 2 should be up ^^, i'm slow, i was braindead in the idea apartment!

necromancer_boy on December 13, 2004, 6:41:13 AM

necromancer_boy on
necromancer_boy...YAHOOO!
Look Dandan! Your threats for people to comment on my stuff paid off! *hugs Dani* EVERYONE LOOK AT DANI'S PICTURES OR YOU WILL BE BEATEN TO DEATH WITH YOUR OWN LEG BONE...figuratevely speaking.........

bishyboylover on December 11, 2004, 11:44:05 AM

bishyboylover on
bishyboyloverOmg...that is sooooooooooooo awesome!

FaustVIII on December 10, 2004, 10:58:55 AM

FaustVIII on
FaustVIIIhee, he was cool, he could speak japanese and junk! plus he got me into jhonny the homicidal maniac! hmm, poor you, you have a brother AND a sister? damn, i'm an only child, i pity you *pets*

necromancer_boy on December 9, 2004, 8:18:24 AM

necromancer_boy on
necromancer_boyDani, you have weird exes.
And it has to be their natural colour. I myself recently noticed myself reaching for the Palmolive when i was attacked by that witch....oh, wait, that was my sister. Nevermind! V-_O

FaustVIII on December 8, 2004, 1:52:53 PM

FaustVIII on
FaustVIIIhaha well, my ex had green hair. does that count?? o.O i know i'm a little off. +favs