Chapter 1 - Interview

Disclaimer: Some stuff in here belongs to belongs to Jhonen Vasquez, kay???

A Stupid Interview Not Worth Reading

*nocturne_dune

dune: [looking at audience] Hello, everyone. It's an odd thing for me to greet all the misrable doomed people who are here...

[Dib is tied to a chair, struggling...]

Dib: Hey...let me go! I was about to get Zim when this crazy girl tied me to a chair!

[Pushes a button from a remote, then Dib gets shocked with electricity]

dune: Not just any chair!! Besides, this interview is important! You had so many chances to save the Earth, didn't you? Go save it some other time!! It's time for my interview!!

Dib: But the Earth!!!

dune: Earth this, Earth that! Is that all you ever talk about!? What's so important with Earth anyway, huh!?

Dib: Come on! You live in this planet, don't you!?

dune: Yes...but anyway! You are here for the sole purpose of answering my questions!

Dib: If I do that, you'll let me go??

dune: Hmm...I dunno. You'll see! Okay, first question!!

Dib: [grunts. gets shocked again] What!?

dune: I didn't ask anything yet!! Anyway, why do you have to have such a LARGE head!?

Dib: Why does everyone keep saying that!? [dune: coz it's true??] I don't have a big head!! Anyway, I've been abducted by aliens as a baby, and more recently by an alien ship disguised as a baby.

dune: Okay, that didn't answer my question...but who cares!? So Dib...why are you so weird!?

Dib: Your questions don't make sense at all! I'm wasting my time here!

[Kzzt!!]

Dib: [panting] I don't know...

dune: Hmm...Dib...are you insane!?

Dib: Of course not! You know Zim is alien, right!?

dune: I have no proof...that's why I brought him...here!!

[Zim gets warped to the studio tied to another chair!]

Zim: Filthy human! Release me from this chaaaaaiiiiiiirrrrr...

[dune pushes the button again and Zim gets sprayed with bbq sauce]

dune: Wah! Look at him burn!!!

Dib: There's your proof! What human burns with bbq sauce!?

dune: He does!

Zim: I am normal!!

dune: Okay Zim! I really don't have to ask you anything since all I really wanna ask is Dib, but since you're here...are you an alien!?

Dib: Come on! Did you really have to ask that!?

Zim: Of course! Now release me!!!

dune: I don't think so!

[bbq sauce splatters all over the place as Zim howls in pain...]

Dib: I don't know whether to praise you...or just kill you for being so stupid!!!

dune: Hey, don't push it big headed boy!! I have yet another question!

Dib: What is it now?

dune: Since you are so engrossed about the study of the paranormal, can you explain to us the theory you so protect concerning questionable life forms from beyong our universe??

Dib: Questionable!? There it is right there!

[points to a semi concious drooling Zim...]

Dib: And how did you ask such an intelligent question??

dune: Cue cards, over there!!

Dib: This is stupid...

Zim: For once I agree with the filthy human!!

dune: Alright, if you're dying to get off and kill each other, fine! Oh Nny!!!

Dib/Zim: Nny??

[Nny comes out, looking annoyed...]

Nny: I don't even know what I'm doing here.

dune: Hey, I promised you I'd give you a brain freezy if you listen to what these guys have to say, right? Here ya go!!

[Nny takes the brain freezy]

dune: Ok, guys, this is Johnny, the Homicidal Maniac. He'll kill you.

Dib: What makes you think that!? Man, everything's so wacky...

[Nny's eyes widen up]

Nny: I hate that word!!!

[gets knife and stars walking towards Dib and Zim...]

dune: Well, that's all we have for today, it's a shame that a long life is never a guarantee. Oh well, see ya!

[turns off cam]

*end*

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