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It Never Ends Chapter 1

Its a story i made up! this is only the first chapter!
its a lot of writing xD and it has realistic deaths...the base part of the story isn't even done yet xD so u cant make a summary of it from the first chapter xD

Chapters

Chapters

Chapter 1 - Christmas already?
Submitted: December 4, 2008 • Updated: December 4, 2008
Word count: 923 • Size: 4k • Comments: 10 • views: 161

Comments

Comments (28)

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Falconlobo on December 4, 2008, 4:50:35 AM

Falconlobo on (Chapter: index)
FalconloboServer is too busy
what the heck is that lol it said it on the page

rain_kitty on December 4, 2008, 5:16:10 AM

rain_kitty on (Chapter: index)
rain_kittyXD loli

Falconlobo on December 4, 2008, 5:17:45 AM

Falconlobo on (Chapter: index)
Falconloboyeh i copied it when it was there fac and it's buggyness

Falconlobo on December 4, 2008, 4:56:13 AM

Falconlobo on (Chapter: 1)
Falconloboa dove ornament

rain_kitty on December 4, 2008, 5:02:28 AM

rain_kitty on (Chapter: 1)
rain_kittyoops o.o

Falconlobo on December 4, 2008, 5:03:38 AM

Falconlobo on (Chapter: index)
Falconlobolol it's okay i make spelling mistakes too sometimes

rain_kitty on December 4, 2008, 5:15:32 AM

rain_kitty on (Chapter: index)
rain_kittythe computer said thats the right way to spell it D:

*stabs computer*

any comments about the story?

Falconlobo on December 4, 2008, 5:17:11 AM

Falconlobo on (Chapter: index)
Falconloboit's nice but i think if the person is narrating parts of a story they need to be enclosed in between ( ) ^^

rain_kitty on December 4, 2008, 5:54:44 AM

rain_kitty on (Chapter: index)
rain_kitty?

Falconlobo on December 4, 2008, 5:57:05 AM

Falconlobo on (Chapter: index)
FalconloboHi…I’m a boy who just moved from Washington to Oregon. I’m only 12. All I do is play soccer, baseball, and go to school. I’m not about perfect; I just want a friend that won’t always turns their back on me. Luckily the new school I’m going to doesn’t know any of my secrets. At my old school I was picked on for killing the class pet fish by feeding it rubber when I was 4 yrs. old. Now I’m called ‘Fish Stabber’; or was called ‘Fish Stabber’. “So I guess I’m a bit happy about moving…”

this part is a narrative part right inner thoughts

rain_kitty on December 4, 2008, 10:32:22 AM

rain_kitty on (Chapter: index)
rain_kittyon this part: Hi…I’m a boy who just moved from Washington to Oregon. I’m only 12. All I do is play soccer, baseball, and go to school. I’m not about perfect; I just want a friend that won’t always turns their back on me. Luckily the new school I’m going to doesn’t know any of my secrets. At my old school I was picked on for killing the class pet fish by feeding it rubber when I was 4 yrs. old. Now I’m called ‘Fish Stabber’; or was called ‘Fish Stabber’.

hes talking t

rain_kitty on December 4, 2008, 10:27:33 AM

rain_kitty on (Chapter: index)
rain_kittyon this part: Hi…I’m a boy who just moved from Washington to Oregon. I’m only 12. All I do is play soccer, baseball, and go to school. I’m not about perfect; I just want a friend that won’t always turns their back on me. Luckily the new school I’m going to doesn’t know any of my secrets. At my old school I was picked on for killing the class pet fish by feeding it rubber when I was 4 yrs. old. Now I’m called ‘Fish Stabber’; or was called ‘Fish Stabber’.

hes talking to you



but in this part: “So I guess I’m a bit happy about moving…”
hes talks out loud to his parents

and he says it because he just thought about what he was telling you

Falconlobo on December 4, 2008, 10:29:02 AM

Falconlobo on (Chapter: index)
Falconlobotrue but it sort of looked like he was talking out loud cuse of the quotes inner thoughts don't really require quotes^^

Falconlobo on December 4, 2008, 10:30:44 AM

Falconlobo on (Chapter: index)
Falconlobooh okay but that is why spacing would make it seems like two separate parts^^

rain_kitty on December 4, 2008, 10:28:59 AM

rain_kitty on (Chapter: index)
rain_kittybut what do u like about the story? D:

rain_kitty on December 4, 2008, 10:29:17 AM

rain_kitty on (Chapter: index)
rain_kittywhats you favorite part?

Falconlobo on December 4, 2008, 10:31:23 AM

Falconlobo on (Chapter: index)
Falconloboi dunno yet it's not done yet right?

Falconlobo on December 4, 2008, 5:56:05 AM

Falconlobo on (Chapter: index)
Falconlobo{meaning if the character is narrating the story it needs to be like this^^}

Falconlobo on December 4, 2008, 4:55:54 AM

Falconlobo on (Chapter: 1)
Falconlobonice but near the last line needs to be a ornament^^

Falconlobo on December 4, 2008, 4:48:08 AM

Falconlobo on (Chapter: 1)
Falconlobothe site screwed it up xD

print in fics needs top be like this^^

spacing like this^^

Falconlobo on December 4, 2008, 4:46:56 AM

Falconlobo on (Chapter: 1)
Falconlobothe bold print hurts my eyes plus it needs spacing sorry^^

Falconlobo on December 4, 2008, 4:41:29 AM

Falconlobo on (Chapter: 1)
Falconlobohmmm needs not to be in bold first hand to be easier to read and spacing and paragraphs are needed^^

rain_kitty on December 4, 2008, 4:44:55 AM

rain_kitty on (Chapter: 1)
rain_kittytry again

i fixed it

so like the story so far? :3

Falconlobo on December 4, 2008, 4:46:12 AM

Falconlobo on (Chapter: 1)
Falconloboi was replying to your other comment so i have not read it yet lol^^

rain_kitty on December 4, 2008, 4:44:23 AM

rain_kitty on (Chapter: 1)
rain_kittythe site screwed it up xD

Falconlobo on December 4, 2008, 4:45:36 AM

Falconlobo on (Chapter: 1)
Falconlobotry using the bb code by copying the story from where it is edited and past it in with the BB code submission process ^^

rain_kitty on December 4, 2008, 4:49:12 AM

rain_kitty on (Chapter: index)
rain_kittyi just did

ill undo bold for ya

Falconlobo on December 4, 2008, 4:50:02 AM

Falconlobo on (Chapter: index)
Falconlobothanks it's just that kind of print is hard on my peepers lol^^