Chapter 1 - Snape's List

Fifty Ways To Piss Off Snape And More



Poke Him… a lot

Say `Milk' to all his questions

If you are taller than him (I think I am), say, “What a cute little potions master you are.” Trust me, that would seriously piss him off, if you do it in a baby voice and pinch his check, his face will turn a lovely shade of hot pink.

Dye his hair bright neon pink or purple (green will work too, but it will turn out more puke-y green than neon)

Make a voodoo doll of him and make him do the disco/robot in the middle of class

Put a sign that says “Hex Me” on his back

Set his alarm to go off at 1:39 in the morning

Put ants in his pants

Make him do bogie dance all the way to France in his underpants. (BAD MENTAL IMAGES, VERY BAD)

Team up with Peeves and throw random potions ingredients at him (brains and dried worms work well)

Find a way to make him admit that he has a pet worm named Fluffy The Destroyer Of Worlds

After you make him admit that he has a pet worm, videotape some random person using Fluffy as bait.

Whenever he starts speaking yell “peanut butter” or “chocolate bananas”

Give him a Mohawk

Gag him, tie him down to a chair and lock him in a closet with random monkeys of doom. (The poor monkeys, why am I so evil to them)

Give him a fake letter that say he got the lowest scores on the DADA NEWT test

Lock him in a room with Sirius

Hit him over the head with one of those big giant lollypops from Disneyland

Dress him up as Britney Spears and make him sing Toxic. (Oh God, nightmares now, getting nightmares)

Pour stink sap on his robes

Put in newt toes when he is making a potion so it will explode in his face

Impersonate him and start sing random Christmas carols while walking down the hall ways

Put pictures of kittens and puppies in all his potions books

Spray some of that nasty Britney Spears perfume in his face

Put him on a reality TV show

Draw a sharpie moustache on his face while he is sleeping

Force him to say, “I am Pinocchio, and I like wearing ladies underwear.”

Ask him if he's gay, then put signs up that say “Snape is gay, in the happy way” anyways

Make him trip up stairs, or have him fall down the up escalators. (I did both of those, not fun for me, but it was funny)

Make him laugh uncontrollably whenever someone says the word `pudding'

Give him a pink tutu to wear to classes and meals

Get a hazmat team to come and forcible remove his hair

Set his hair on fire

Give him the tickle attack

Drop balloons of bleach on his head so he becomes Mr. White-y Pants Tight-y

Write on his forehead, “FEAR THE ALL POWERFUL GIT OF GREASE!!!”

That his wand and give him an oversized tooth brush of death

Make him floss his teeth

Let loose a stampede of Pluto destroying pink piggies

Steal his cauldron and replace it with an “Idiots Guides To Potions” book

Give him a pink crown and say, “You are a pretty pretty princess now!!”

Make him relive his childhood fear of fluffy cats

Force him to listen to elevator music while he is working on a explosive potion

Yell “KA-BOOM!!” really loud in his left ear

Flick his left hand about seven times while say, “You shall do my bidding, now… go hug Harry Potter”

Force him into a Wonder Woman costume for Halloween

Steal his diary, and blow up parts of it, (mainly the romance he wished he had, or the love-y dove-y poetry) to stick on the bulletin boards

Do an interview with him and ask him random questions like, “When you brush your teeth, do you brush left to right or up and down?” or “Is it true that you say Choo-Choo to the trains?”

Video his attempt to turn on a television or other muggle device, then show it to the school

Make him wash his hair.
[/list]




~)~)~)~)

Amu: Wow, that is very disturbing.

Uma: Yeah, but funny

Amu: Why did you even write this?

Uma: Got bored

Amu:… You are almost always bored

Uma Yep, ~to readers~ Now peoples, some of you now will probably think that I am a Snape basher for writing this, but let me tell you something

Amu: She going to do this to almost EVER H.P. character if she gets bored, YOU HAVE BEEN WARNNED!!!

Uma: Not all the characters, just the main one

Amu: Whatever, and I thin that you are missing something…

Uma: Oh yeah, I do not own Harry Potter In any way shape or form, it belongs to the awesome J. K. Rowling.

Amu: Have you ever noticed that the letters j and k are right next to each other on the keyboard?

Uma: No, not until now… weeeiiiirrrrrdddd

You are not authorized to comment here. Your must be registered and logged in to comment