Chapter 6 - Following the Master's Shadow

Naruto wanders the streets of the Leaf Village, grief stricken over the death of Jiraiya. Unable to overcome his feeling of loss, Naruto traces back through his memories of Jiraiya. What can help the heartbroken Naruto get back on his feet?


One step at a time. One foot in front of the other. It took all of Naruto’s concentration to not give in to the overwhelming grief lapping at him and collapse right there in the street. Children passed by him, laughing and screaming, but he didn’t see them. The noise of the bustling town was deafening, but he didn’t hear it. Blindly, he passed shop after shop, not caring where his feet were taking him. One poster caught his eye… The new Make-out Tactics novel, a bright blue poster. “Long-awaited new novel! Best work ever!”

Flashback

Jiraiya peeked over the wall of the bath separating the two genders, a naughty blush spreading across his face. A leer played across his lips and he exclaimed happily, “Oh, there they are! So many well-developed gals!”

An aghast Naruto chastised him, but it fell on deaf ears.

“What a sight! What a sight! I’m getting inspiration for my next novel!”

End Flashback

The small, unbidden memory brought a ghost of a smile to the boy’s lips as he gazed at the poster blankly before his feet carried him away again.

--

“Dead?” The single word didn’t want to come out of her mouth- it couldn’t be true. Hisako stood in her doorway, staring blankly at the morose silver-haired ninja. Dead… She shook her head in disbelief.

“He fought against the leader of the Akatsuki… ‘Pain.’ He gave us a wellspring of clues as to who this ‘Pain’ really is, which in the long run will prove useful in the defeat of the organization. He wanted to protect Konoha, and the people in it, as best he could. He died an honorable death.” Kakashi regarded her silently.

“And Naruto? Has he been informed?”

“…..”

That silence was all the answer she needed. She turned on her heels and grabbed her jacket, hastily stuffing her arms into the sleeves before heading back for the door. When Kakashi wouldn’t move, she huffed at him impatiently.

“Stay here. He’ll find you,” the older man murmured, laying a gloved hand on the girl’s face. A moment later, and he was gone.

--

The very same pole that Naruto first clambered up and announced his return to the village not so long ago now held a mere shadow of that same boy, staring unseeingly at the Hokage monuments, again lost in his memories.

Flashback

”Now listen, Naruto,” the Pervy Sage said as the two of them walked down a dirt road, “I have only three years to make you strong. I will spend that time training you vigorously. Be prepared for that.”

“You bet! This time, I’m going to bring him back for sure!” The always optimistic Naruto shot back without a moment’s hesitation. His face settled into an expression of intensity. “There’s no time for me to waste.”

--

“Cripes.. I can’t take this… What’s with this lame training, anyway?!” A frustrated Naruto yelled over the roar of the waterfall behind them.

His equally ticked master replied, “Fool! Nothing in training is lame! You foolish student!”

--

An adrenaline-pumped Naruto ran full-tilt at his master, aiming a right hook that was deflected, and then a left hook- also deflected. He brought his knee up to land a hit to the man’s gut, but was deflected again by two hands. With a triumphant grin, the boy grabbed those two hands and the old man barely had time to widen his eyes before he was attacked from behind by a kunai-wielding shadow clone… and disappeared in a puff of smoke.

“What?!” The two blonde boys searched frantically for their disappeared master, and they found him at the same time he let out a hearty laugh, then spoke.

“You’re not the only one who uses Shadow Clones. You’re still so naïve…”

End Flashback

The blonde-haired boy grasped unconsciously at the zipper of his jacket as he walked, the memory of when he first put it on coming to mind, unbidden.

“Yo, Naruto!”

Naruto was so lost in his thoughts that he almost didn’t stop to see who called out his name. He looked up, and before him was none other than Iruka-sensei, the first adult in the village to acknowledge him. He tried to pull it together enough to listen to his former teacher.

“I hear you’ve been real active on missions and such. Everyone in the village is talking about you.”

Really? A few days ago, Naruto would have been thrilled to hear things like this, but now… He couldn’t find it in him to care. He forced himself back to attention when he realized Iruka was still speaking.

“Hey, let’s go somewhere and catch up!” His sensei jabbed a thumb behind him, and with a wink suggested, “How about Ichiraku for some ramen?”

Naruto looked down, and without meeting the man’s eyes, muttered a quiet, “No thanks…” and walked right by his speechless teacher, letting his feet carry him away, not caring where they lead him.

--

Hisako sat in impatient silence, heeding Kakashi’s words. She knew deep down he was right- Naruto would find her, just as he had always done, ever since they were little. The corners of her mouth turned up in an unconscious smile as she remembered the first time they met.

Flashback

”Sakura-chan, who’s that boy over there?” the brunette asked her friend, swinging her feet absentmindedly as they sat on the picnic bench together. “He’s always alone.”

“Oh, him? That’s Naruto Uzumaki. He’s nobody, really. A total dork,” Sakura shrugged indifferently.

“Isn’t that kinda harsh, Sa-chan?”

“Have you ever met him? He’s so annoying! That’s probably why he doesn’t have any friends.”

“Well, I’m gonna go over and talk to him,” Hisako replied, sliding off the bench and marching over to where the blonde sat on a swing, all alone.

“Hisa-chan, don’t! You’ll get made fun of!” Sakura called nervously, glancing around to see if anyone was watching.

“Like I care! Nobody pays attention to me, anyways,” she retorted, sticking her tongue out at her best friend.

Naruto looked up from his swing, looking surprised at first at the girl headed his way. Then a shadow crossed his face, and he looked away sadly. This made the already determined girl even more determined.

“Hiya, I’m Hisako! Nice to meet you,” she said with a cheery wave, a sincere smile spreading across her face. At the look of total and utter shock on the boy’s face, she rolled her eyes and elbowed him. “This is where you tell me your name, and we go play together,” she explained with a grin and an outstretched hand.

“Uh…” Naruto was totally stupefied. Someone was actually choosing to play with him? “I’m Naruto Uzumaki, but… Do you really want to play with me?”

The girl rolled her bright blue eyes at him, and grabbed his hand. “I wouldn’t be over here if I didn’t, Naruto-chan.”

“Oh, uh… thanks. Hisako…chan.”

And from that day on, they were the best of friends.

End Flashback

From then on, Hisako and Naruto were thick as thieves. If one had a problem, the other would know about it within the hour. She even told him some things that she never told Sakura. The bond between the boy and girl was stronger than the friendship that she shared with Sakura… It was something Sakura could never hope to understand. Loneliness was something Sakura was entirely unfamiliar with. The girl thought she was lonely because she wasn’t well-liked among their classmembers, but in reality she had no idea what it was like to be totally shunned. Naruto and Hisako shared a common suffering, and through the years they had become the closest friends either could ever hope to ask for. Every time he got lonely or afraid, he came to Hisako. That was why she was sure that he would do so again, in what probably would be his darkest hour.

--

Naruto could feel the waves of grief lapping at him, threatening to submerge him in their icy depths. His heart felt like it had been torn from his chest. All that remained was a gaping hole that threatened to consume him. His subconscious knew what he needed before he did, and while all of his concentration was focused on not being devoured by his grief, his feet led him to the one place he wanted to be most. Before he knew it, he was on her front step, wrapping on her door with two knuckles. The sound echoed around the silence in his head, and he waited for the door to open.

--

She knew that knock anywhere. Her heart leapt into her chest and she scrambled to the door before collecting herself, calmly opening it. When she saw the blank stare of the blonde-haired boy before her, her heart nearly broke. She wanted so badly to take him in her arms and promise that everything would be all right. But she knew that was not what he needed right then, and she waited.

“Would you like some tea?” She offered in a muted voice, opening the door wider so he could come in.

His silent nod and the way his hand laid on her shoulder as he passed her, sliding down her arm gently before walking inside, made her heart flutter; first out of grief for him, and second, for an entirely different reason.

They sat across from each other, sipping their tea in silence. After the third time Naruto put his cup down and stared unseeingly into it, Hisako noiselessly rose from her chair and walked around the table to stand behind him. When he didn’t react to her presence, she gently put her arms around his neck and murmured into his hair, “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I know how much he meant to you.”

He reached a hand up and silently held it, the gentle squeeze he gave her hand the only thanks she needed. She pressed a gentle kiss to the back of his head, and felt his breathing still. She pressed another one on the back of his neck, and nipped gently when he remained motionless. His breathing returned, more shallow and ragged than before.

“Hisako-chan…?” The question in his voice was obvious, even as he rose from his chair and stood to face her. He stood a good five or six inches over her, and she wondered… When did he get so tall? She closed the distance between them and met his eyes unwaveringly. His hand touched her cheek and her heart raced and she wondered how he couldn’t hear it. Even as she spoke her next words, she wondered how he didn’t hear the subtle shake in them, how he didn’t see what was right in front of him.

“It’s okay, Naruto. I have to help you somehow. Seeing you like this… It breaks my heart.” She placed her hand over his tenderly, tears coming unbidden and threatening to spill over. She frustratedly wiped them away with the back of her hand and whispered passionately, “I love you, Naruto, and if this is the only way I can help you, then please, let me.” And without further warning, she leaned up and planted a gentle kiss on the surprised boy’s lips.

She knew she shouldn’t have. She knew that after today, everything would change between them. But as her best friend’s arms wrapped around her and he returned her kiss, she decided that she didn’t care. Naruto pulled away after a few moments, locking their gazes; a question was forming on his lips.

“You love me, Hisako-chan?” The whisper was almost too much for Hisako to bear, the sliver of hope that crept into his voice. Her response, to wind her fingers in those beautiful blond locks of his and to press another, less gentle kiss to his lips, was more than enough of a “yes” for him, but she didn’t leave any room for doubt.

“I always have, Naruto. Always have, always will. Now, please, I want to stop your pain, if it’s only for a little while. Let me distract you from the emptiness… here.” At the last word, Hisako placed a gentle hand over his heart, and their blue eyes locked. His were asking, hers were answering: “What are you offering?” “Anything. Everything. Whatever you need.”

He accepted wordlessly, pushing her gently against the wall and trailing kisses down her neck, leaving her nerves blazing. Knotting her fingers in his hair, she responded with shallow, breathy moans which cut off sharply as he slid a single hand up under her shirt and squeezed gently at the small of her back. There was no awkwardness in the way he caressed her, nor in the way his lips claimed hers. There wasn’t room for it. There was only room for the grief that they were both trying to forget, and the unbridled love of a girl who’d do anything for the man in her arms.


--

Even as she took his hand and led him to her bedroom, even as he lay her down gently and began to make love to her, there was no sense of the awkward hormone-ridden angst that drove most couples to the bedroom. Even after she cried out his name as he took her over the edge, following soon after. The pain he had been trying to escape was successfully forgotten as they lay there in silence, their hearts beating as one. Filling its place was a love he had unconsciously been suppressing, fearing change. As Hisako lay there, her head on Naruto’s chest, listening to his slowing heartbeat, her heart swelled with love for him so much that she thought she would burst.

“Things can’t go back to the way they were now, you know,” she murmured sleepily against his chest.

A smile, a genuine smile, pulled at the corners of Naruto’s lips as he realized that he didn’t have to go through this alone. Sure, there’d be days where the grief would almost take him, and it would take a long time for the hole in his heart to heal. But with Hisako at his side, it wouldn’t be so bad. The worst was over, and it was all thanks to his best friend… no, his lover.

“I don’t want them to.”

“Mm?” She drifted into unconsciousness as he finished his thought.

“Because… I love you, too.”

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