Chapter 1 - Just Me

I run into my room, thoughI can barely see through the tears in my eyes that are streaming down my facewith my parents words still in the air and on my mind. It’s the same as alwaysafter I talk to them for awhile they start to yell, then in my heart there’s a painand, I’m sure, now another scar. I don’t expect them to care about what theirwords do to me. I don’t expect it at all, one lesson that they taught me “NO ONE CARES FOR YOU[/i] AT ALL AND THEY NEVER WILL!” I look into the mirror on my wall, disgusted by theface I see. For the one I see is mine, I know I disgust myself and others becauseI’ve been told “YOU[/i] ARE THEMOST DISGUSTING AND UGLIEST THING IN THE ENTIRE WORLD!” I look at the tears running down my cheeks as more of the awful thingsthey’ve always said to me come back to me. “YOU[/i] ARE WORTHLESS! YOU[/i]ARE NOTHING! WE WISH WE NEVER HAD YOU[/i]!”I have many dreams, hopes, and wishes I’vebeen told are stupid, impossible they say. “YOU COULD NEVER HAVEFRIENDS, WHO WOULD EVER WANT TO BE YOUR[/i]FRIEND? YOU[/i] HAVE FRIENDS? THAT’S JUSTTHE BIGGEST LIE ONEARTH! NO ONE COULD POSSIBLY LOVE YOU[/i]AND NO ONE EVER WILL!” I know I’m worthless. Iknow I’m nothing. I know you wish I wasn’t here. I know that no ones cares andthey never will. I know that all my friends are illusions and only there out ofpity for me and that they wish that their friendship with me was the biggestlie on earth. I know no one will ever love me, though I wish someone would. Iknow this PLEASE don’t tell me again. I dream of a Prince Charming to come, thoughI know it’s impossible. Princes always look for and find the beautifulPrincesses not the ugly beast like me, the ones that could make the “Phantom ofThe Opera” or the “Hunchback of Notre Dame” look good. I know I’m not the angelsome people say I am I know I’m stuck just being me and maybe that’s OK. Istart to think, MAYBE behind the BEASTa BEAUTY lies. MAYBE my friends, MYFRIENDS really do like me for who I am.MAYBE I am the angel people say and maybe,just maybe, my dreams, my wishes, and my hopes are not as impossible as theysay. I look in the mirror again and it’s strange the face is still the same, it’sstill me but for some reason I don’t seem as bad or ugly as before. Maybe I’m right;maybe it’s okay to be me. Maybe I’m the way I’m supposed to be. I make a promiseto myself that no matter what and no matter what anyone else says I’ll alwaysremember that this is true for me and everyone else. It’s OK to be whoyou are; we’re all just as we should be. And if I ever forget it I just have toremember that I am stronger then I seem, smarter then I think, and braver thanI believe. I walk out of my room no longer theperson I was, I know they were all wrong and I vow NEVER to believe what they say about me again.

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