Chapter 1 - Racist Jokes!
Submitted May 8, 2004 Updated August 3, 2004 Status Incomplete | Black, Mexican, White, Jewish, Dead Baby, Story, Lady, Redneck, and Other Jokes!
Category:
Miscellaneous » Writing » Humor/Comedy |
Chapter 1 - Racist Jokes!
Chapter 1 - Racist Jokes!
Before i start, i want to say this! I am not racist! i just like racist jokes cuss i believe they r the best!
i also got most of these jokes from www.totse.com and i wanted to give them most of the credit!
and now here r all of the jokes i could think of!
Black Jokes
How do you keep a nigger from raping a white woman?
Throw them a basket ball
Why do blacks like basketball so much?
It involves running,jumping,stealing,and shooting
What did the black guy do with his mms?
eat them
What did the white guy do with his mms?
arrange them by color
whats the difference between a pizza and a nigger?
a pizza can feed a family of four.
whats the difference between a nigger and batman?
batman can go a night without robbin
what do you get when you cross a nigger with a can?
a grasshopper
what does a sperm cell and a black man have in common
about 1 and a million works......
whats the diff between a black man and a pile of shoot
the shoot stinks
whats the diffbetween white trash and a upstanding black male
nothing
whatdo the chineese call a black male with aids
coonsoondie (coon soon die, you have to hear the way its said, as one word)
why do black people have nightmares?
beause we killed the only one with a dream
Whats wrong with 4 niggers driving off a cliff in a caddilac?
The car holds 5
What do you call 10,000 niggers on a flight to africa?
A good start.
How long does it take a black woman to take a shoot?
9 months.
What did the indian see when he saw pizza?
Who barfed on my bannock?
How do you stop a niglet from jumping on the bed?
Put velcro on the ceiling.
How do you get him down?
Tell the Mexican kids next door that he's a piniata.
What's long black and stinky?
The Unemployment line.
Whats the differece between a nigger and a bucket of shoot?
the bucket
Why didnt the black frack the mexican?
He didnt want kids too lazy to steal.
Why dont blacks like blowjobs?
Blacks dont like any jobs. Ho ho ho.
Why is stevie wonder always smiling?
He doesnt Know hes black.
Why arent there any black people in the flinstones?
They were still monkeys.
What do you call a charming intelligent harvard educated black man?
nigger
What happens when you stick your hand inside a bag of jellybeans?
The black one steals your watch.
Q have you ever see the inside of stevie wonders house?
A:Neither did he
Q:Why do black men sweat and cry after sex?
A:Mace will do that to 'ya.
A preist, a rapist, and a pedophile all walk into a bar, and that's just the first guy.
What do you call two niggers in a sleeping bag?
-Twix
How do you stop a nigger from drowning?
-Take you foot off the back of his head
What do you call a bunch of brown people running down the side of a mountain?
A mudslide.
Why don't you run over a black guy's bike?
Because it might be yours.
What are three things you can't give a black guy?
A black eye, a fat lip, and a job.
why can't stevie wonder read?
-cause he's black
ok thats enough of black jokes! i have plenty more but to sleepy!
Mexican Jokes
why doesnt mexico have a olympics team?
because all the mexicans who can run,jump,and swim are already over here
Why aren't there any Mexicans on Star Trek?
They don't have jobs in the future either.
What do you call a bunch of mexicans running down the side of a mountain?
A jailbreak.
not many mexican jokes but oh well!
White Jokes!
How white is jim cracker?
Jim cracker is so white he went out and bought a tv during the LA riots
What did whitey see on his family tree?
a straight line
What did the white guy do with his mms?
arrange them by color
What do you call a bunch of white people running down the side of a mountain?
An avalanche.
ok i know! i am running out of jokes cuss black ones r my specialty!
Jewish Jokes!
1. Q: How do you get 10,000 Jews in a Volkswagon?
A: Two in the front, two in the back, and the rest in the ash tray.
What is the most confusing day on the Reservation?
Father's Day
what is the difference between a jew and a pizza?
A the pizza dosnt scream when it goes in the oven
well those r most of my jokes but hear r some more!
Dead Baby Jokes!
whats more fun then swinging a baby around on a clothsline?
-stopping it with a shovel.
-
what do you call a line of trees in the ghetto?
-public transporation
How do you fit 10 babies into a bucket?
-A Blender
How do you get them out?
-Tortilla Chips
What's the difference between a Cadillac and a pile of dead babies?
-I don't have a Cadillac in my garage.
What's black and blue and tired of having sex?
-The baby I keep locked in my trunk
What's red and gooey and makes a pounding noise?
-A baby in a microwave
again i come to a stop!
Redneck Jokes!
Q:Why do red necks wear overalls?
A:'Cause sheep can hear a zipper a mile away
Q:What do rednecks say after sex?
A:Thanks mom
A:Get off me, dad, you're crushing my smokes.
A:nothing, What the hell do you say to a goat?
not many redneck jokes but oh well!
Lady Jokes! and i am not Sexist!
Q:What do you call two lesbians in a closet?
A:Liqur Cabnit
Q:Why can't helen Keller drive?
A:'Cause she's a woman
Q:What's the best part about dating homless girls?
A:After sex, you can just drop her off anywhere
Q:How many chicks does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A:What the frack is she doing out of the kitchen?!
A:None, She'll just sit around and dog 'till a man comes to do it.
How long does it take a black woman to take a shoot?
9 months.
Thats my lady jokes!
Story Jokes!
OK! A black guy, white guy, and mexican r in the desert! they find a lamp! they rub it and a genie comes out! he gives them each 1 wish!
the black guy wishes all his people back to africa! *poof* all black people back in africa!
the mexican wishes all his people back in mexico! *poof* all mexicans back in mexico!
the white guy says "so all blacks r back in africa and mexicans in mexico?"
the genie responds "that is correct sir! now what is ur wish?"
the white guy says "uhh ok then i guess i'll take a coke!"
i will add more later!
but thats it for now!
i also got most of these jokes from www.totse.com and i wanted to give them most of the credit!
and now here r all of the jokes i could think of!
Black Jokes
How do you keep a nigger from raping a white woman?
Throw them a basket ball
Why do blacks like basketball so much?
It involves running,jumping,stealing,and shooting
What did the black guy do with his mms?
eat them
What did the white guy do with his mms?
arrange them by color
whats the difference between a pizza and a nigger?
a pizza can feed a family of four.
whats the difference between a nigger and batman?
batman can go a night without robbin
what do you get when you cross a nigger with a can?
a grasshopper
what does a sperm cell and a black man have in common
about 1 and a million works......
whats the diff between a black man and a pile of shoot
the shoot stinks
whats the diffbetween white trash and a upstanding black male
nothing
whatdo the chineese call a black male with aids
coonsoondie (coon soon die, you have to hear the way its said, as one word)
why do black people have nightmares?
beause we killed the only one with a dream
Whats wrong with 4 niggers driving off a cliff in a caddilac?
The car holds 5
What do you call 10,000 niggers on a flight to africa?
A good start.
How long does it take a black woman to take a shoot?
9 months.
What did the indian see when he saw pizza?
Who barfed on my bannock?
How do you stop a niglet from jumping on the bed?
Put velcro on the ceiling.
How do you get him down?
Tell the Mexican kids next door that he's a piniata.
What's long black and stinky?
The Unemployment line.
Whats the differece between a nigger and a bucket of shoot?
the bucket
Why didnt the black frack the mexican?
He didnt want kids too lazy to steal.
Why dont blacks like blowjobs?
Blacks dont like any jobs. Ho ho ho.
Why is stevie wonder always smiling?
He doesnt Know hes black.
Why arent there any black people in the flinstones?
They were still monkeys.
What do you call a charming intelligent harvard educated black man?
nigger
What happens when you stick your hand inside a bag of jellybeans?
The black one steals your watch.
Q have you ever see the inside of stevie wonders house?
A:Neither did he
Q:Why do black men sweat and cry after sex?
A:Mace will do that to 'ya.
A preist, a rapist, and a pedophile all walk into a bar, and that's just the first guy.
What do you call two niggers in a sleeping bag?
-Twix
How do you stop a nigger from drowning?
-Take you foot off the back of his head
What do you call a bunch of brown people running down the side of a mountain?
A mudslide.
Why don't you run over a black guy's bike?
Because it might be yours.
What are three things you can't give a black guy?
A black eye, a fat lip, and a job.
why can't stevie wonder read?
-cause he's black
ok thats enough of black jokes! i have plenty more but to sleepy!
Mexican Jokes
why doesnt mexico have a olympics team?
because all the mexicans who can run,jump,and swim are already over here
Why aren't there any Mexicans on Star Trek?
They don't have jobs in the future either.
What do you call a bunch of mexicans running down the side of a mountain?
A jailbreak.
not many mexican jokes but oh well!
White Jokes!
How white is jim cracker?
Jim cracker is so white he went out and bought a tv during the LA riots
What did whitey see on his family tree?
a straight line
What did the white guy do with his mms?
arrange them by color
What do you call a bunch of white people running down the side of a mountain?
An avalanche.
ok i know! i am running out of jokes cuss black ones r my specialty!
Jewish Jokes!
1. Q: How do you get 10,000 Jews in a Volkswagon?
A: Two in the front, two in the back, and the rest in the ash tray.
What is the most confusing day on the Reservation?
Father's Day
what is the difference between a jew and a pizza?
A the pizza dosnt scream when it goes in the oven
well those r most of my jokes but hear r some more!
Dead Baby Jokes!
whats more fun then swinging a baby around on a clothsline?
-stopping it with a shovel.
-
what do you call a line of trees in the ghetto?
-public transporation
How do you fit 10 babies into a bucket?
-A Blender
How do you get them out?
-Tortilla Chips
What's the difference between a Cadillac and a pile of dead babies?
-I don't have a Cadillac in my garage.
What's black and blue and tired of having sex?
-The baby I keep locked in my trunk
What's red and gooey and makes a pounding noise?
-A baby in a microwave
again i come to a stop!
Redneck Jokes!
Q:Why do red necks wear overalls?
A:'Cause sheep can hear a zipper a mile away
Q:What do rednecks say after sex?
A:Thanks mom
A:Get off me, dad, you're crushing my smokes.
A:nothing, What the hell do you say to a goat?
not many redneck jokes but oh well!
Lady Jokes! and i am not Sexist!
Q:What do you call two lesbians in a closet?
A:Liqur Cabnit
Q:Why can't helen Keller drive?
A:'Cause she's a woman
Q:What's the best part about dating homless girls?
A:After sex, you can just drop her off anywhere
Q:How many chicks does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A:What the frack is she doing out of the kitchen?!
A:None, She'll just sit around and dog 'till a man comes to do it.
How long does it take a black woman to take a shoot?
9 months.
Thats my lady jokes!
Story Jokes!
OK! A black guy, white guy, and mexican r in the desert! they find a lamp! they rub it and a genie comes out! he gives them each 1 wish!
the black guy wishes all his people back to africa! *poof* all black people back in africa!
the mexican wishes all his people back in mexico! *poof* all mexicans back in mexico!
the white guy says "so all blacks r back in africa and mexicans in mexico?"
the genie responds "that is correct sir! now what is ur wish?"
the white guy says "uhh ok then i guess i'll take a coke!"
i will add more later!
but thats it for now!
Comments
You are not authorized to comment here. Your must be registered and logged in to comment
Tachzaruu on January 4, 2006, 9:21:09 AM
Tachzaruu on
i can't believe that this hasn't been taken off the site. you are a creep to even contemplate this as being funny, and a total jerk for making a collection of these "jokes" and posting them up. you should be ashamed of this.ElAhrairah on September 24, 2005, 4:18:45 AM
ElAhrairah on
Rather funny... If my dad saw this, he'd kill me.sydmarie on May 7, 2005, 10:51:09 AM
sydmarie on
This was a dumb topic to pick, I don't think none of them was funny. The Black ones were terrible. I think thats ill cause I'm black and making jokes is not funny. We had to go through all this pain back in the day and now people still making fun. And the word Nigger was very mean, I don't think anyone should even use that word even black people, even me. Yall white people should of never took us from Africa then we wouldn't be here. I know your probaly white cause if you was black you wouldn,t be putting black jokes on here.to-da-max-7 on April 1, 2005, 6:26:39 AM
to-da-max-7 on
XDIM NOT RACIST but that was good XDknuckles_cutie on February 17, 2005, 8:46:01 AM
frack you.Super_Slyfox on February 1, 2005, 4:11:16 AM
Super_Slyfox on
P.S.Dimwitted-Inu you sure are dimwitted if you're a racist!
You are such an asshole!
Super_Slyfox on February 1, 2005, 4:08:52 AM
Super_Slyfox on
ALL RACISTS ARE ASSHOLES!AND SEXIST PEOPLE ARE ASSHOLES TOO!
kagomeinuyasha123 on January 22, 2005, 1:36:04 AM
funny! but i absolutely hate! racisum!cartmans_beefcake on October 29, 2004, 10:08:39 AM
I'm not entirely sure about the pizza & Jew joke.That's harsh,man.I'm not saying that you are a racist,mind you,just well,that joke just kinda...hurts.Especially if your a Jew,which half of the people on here,are,(including me..;P)But,they are pretty funny,though.Sorry if I ruined the fu for you..:gets hit w/a random brick:Dimwitted-Inu on August 3, 2004, 9:45:31 AM
u know thats why i put this "Black, Mexican, White, Jewish, Dead Baby, Story, Lady, Redneck, and Other Jokes!" so people will know what kind of jokes i am putting in the damn thing... so next time get ur reading glasses on and read shoot before opening it then that way i won't have to listen to all of ur nagging bullshoot. also i hope u all enjoy my second chapter