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Bye Bye Bye

A good bye poem



Chapter 1 - 1
Submitted: July 13, 2005 • Updated: July 13, 2005
Word count: 98 • Size: <1k • Comments: 4 • views: 148


Comments (4)

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mikita_inugirl on February 2, 2006, 10:46:14 AM

mikita_inugirl on (Chapter: 1)
mikita_inugirlSee. This is exactly why I don't have anything to do with relationships. ^_^

Himehoshii on September 26, 2005, 1:25:49 AM

Himehoshii on (Chapter: 1)
HimehoshiiLove often turns to hate quickly. I know this feeling well...Your style is simple, but very effective.

kos on September 24, 2005, 1:42:04 AM

kos on (Chapter: 1)
kosIt's so sad how quickly love flips over. I hope you never have to feel that way again.

I like the poem and the way that it is carefully structured into matching stanzas; with rhyming on lines 3 and 4 and the refrain on line 5. It is very effective.

Sometimes though I got thrown off the rhythm of the poem, which is a pity because it almost flows but not quite. Maybe if you could match up the number of sylables in each line, or have the same number of sylables in the corresponding lines of each stanza, or something like that. That might make it flow better. But of course there are no 'rules' for how you should construct your poem; write how you feel.

Overall, great poem. Keep up the good work. Maybe you'll have a happier topic to write about soon, ya?

theGhostofInuYasha on July 14, 2005, 3:18:57 AM

theGhostofInuYasha on (Chapter: 1)
theGhostofInuYashatwist towards the to hate just like that! Sho sad...