A Quiet Slumber
Submitted August 30, 2005 Updated August 30, 2005 Status Incomplete | A sad poem
Category:
Miscellaneous » Characters |
Chapters
Chapters
Chapter 1 - 1
Submitted: August 30, 2005 • Updated: August 30, 2005
Word count: 142 • Size: <1k • Comments: 5 • views: 166
Comments
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mikita_inugirl on February 2, 2006, 10:45:14 AM
mikita_inugirl on (Chapter: 1)
This is nice. ^_^NJ_PUNK on November 17, 2005, 10:45:20 AM
NJ_PUNK on (Chapter: 1)
i love it it's playful and depressing.Himehoshii on September 26, 2005, 1:22:00 AM
Himehoshii on (Chapter: 1)
The imagery of the poem is brilliant. kos on September 24, 2005, 1:17:27 AM
kos on (Chapter: 1)
A few typos (I've written this as a separate comment so you can delete my comment after you fix the typos):Line 4: "slep" -> "sleep"
Line 6: "," -> "." (to keep the pattern)
Line 12: "innocents" -> "innocence"
Line 14: "the" -> "The"
Line 19: "hear" -> "here"
kos on September 24, 2005, 1:13:38 AM
kos on (Chapter: 1)
Nice poem, it has a way of pulling the reader in through its gentle words and images, even if (or maybe enhanced because) it has a sad ending.