Chapter 1 - Intro
Submitted August 16, 2007 Updated February 27, 2008 Status Incomplete | This is my first story so please no flaming! Enjoy^^~KDOG
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Chapter 1 - Intro
Chapter 1 - Intro
It was Kenchi's first pokemon adventure and proffesser Shin was letting people who turn 13 get a pokemon to start with.
Kenchi had an older brother that had gotten his first pokemon a year before.
His todadile was the strongest one the proffesser gave away, because for the first time trainers they always had a battle. His brother said he trained it good and had evolved it all the way to a Feraligator.
Kenchi had chosen a pokemon he could trus a pokemon he could depend on it was rhyhorn it was a tough pokemon but then this year they didn't have the big battle but that couldn't keep Kenchi from becoming a master.
He started training like crazy and then met up with another trainer his name was Kugen he was another first time trainer so the both got tough pokemon Kugen had a machop that could do a back flip.
They started battling each other after they sat down and talked a little bit Kenchi learned that kugen and him are after the same dream to become a pokemon master.
Kenchi had an older brother that had gotten his first pokemon a year before.
His todadile was the strongest one the proffesser gave away, because for the first time trainers they always had a battle. His brother said he trained it good and had evolved it all the way to a Feraligator.
Kenchi had chosen a pokemon he could trus a pokemon he could depend on it was rhyhorn it was a tough pokemon but then this year they didn't have the big battle but that couldn't keep Kenchi from becoming a master.
He started training like crazy and then met up with another trainer his name was Kugen he was another first time trainer so the both got tough pokemon Kugen had a machop that could do a back flip.
They started battling each other after they sat down and talked a little bit Kenchi learned that kugen and him are after the same dream to become a pokemon master.
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power9x on August 16, 2007, 10:15:16 AM
power9x on
Konohasdarkshadow on February 27, 2008, 3:53:03 PM
thats kinda messed up...when he has nothing you give him 1/5 and then when he tries you give him 0/5? If your gonna do stuff like that, just dont comment at all....you could at least still give him a 1/5 and say it nicer like Symphoniaprincess...geez...it's his first submission EVER on FAC...give him a breakSymphoniaprincess101 on August 16, 2007, 1:48:48 PM
Ok not bad.i give it 1/5(crap for people who have a million great fics ok for a noobie in here)i have to agree a little bit with power9x u just have to do a lot of editing but it's not so so bad.if u've noticed my story i'm pretty new at it myself but no ofence u r a noobie.i sugjest going to other poeple's profile and look at their favs an gallery of stories as exsamples.
0/5 (Crap)
This one breaks some fanfic rules that are just a given, like spellcheck, using the right terms, and doing things too fast. You didn't even explain the battle. You sounded a bit like a rabid squrriel (okay, that was a bit mean, but it really did sound like that). Go to my list of stories and check out how to make a fanfic for dummies not really. It tells you what not to do. Here's my advice. Read some other fics (which, bye the way, thanks for the comment on my thing), and try again. I don't think you are totally screwed, everyone can write, except for illetiteates. Just try again, but first, read it, and see if you were a publisher, would it even be considered. If it'd be looked at and then thrown away after a board meeting about it, it's good to put on here. If it is burned, not just shreded, but burned, then no. That's all. Sorry if it came out harsh, but I'm just keeping quality control on the fic department, where tons of bad ones release every day. Bye.